A woman says that there are problems between her and her husband, and that she suffers from a mental illness and is unable to provide her husband with full family care, so what is
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The questioner : There are problems between her and her husband, where she mentions that she suffers from a mental illness, and she is unable to provide her husband with full family care, so what is the way to build a happy family life in such a situation? And if the understanding is from one side, which is the husband, and the wife is falling short, what do you advise her, and she asks you to pray for her?
The Shaykh : I advise her to be patient, to seek reward from Allah, and to try as much as she can to improve the relationship between her and her husband. With her supplication to Allah the Exalted, seeking His help, and having good intentions, she will achieve her goal, for Allah the Exalted does not waste the reward of one who does good work. And do not rush to seek separation.
As for our prayer for her: I ask Allah the Exalted to improve her situation with her husband. But I inform her, and others as well, that a person’s supplication for himself is better than asking someone else to do it. For it is better for him that he is the one who supplicates to Allah the Exalted than that he says: “O so-and-so, pray to Allah for me,” because Allah the Exalted says:[Ghafir 40:60] And Allah’s favor upon you is better than a man like you or a woman like that woman granting you a favor.
And there is no doubt that one who asks others for supplication will experience some humiliation and abasement before the one he is asking. So it is better for you not to ask anyone and remain dignified than to ask a person to pray for you. My advice to this woman and others is to supplicate to their Lord, Mighty and Majestic, and not to turn to anyone else, and to supplicate to Allah while being certain of the response and not considering it unlikely. And let them repeat the asking and supplication, for Allah the Exalted loves those who persist in supplication.
And let them know that Allah the Exalted may withhold from them what they supplicated for for their own benefit, until they repeat the supplication and sincerely turn to Allah, Mighty and Majestic. Supplication itself is an act of worship that brings one closer to Allah, and waiting for relief from Allah the Exalted is an act of worship that necessitates the attachment of the servant’s heart to his Lord, Mighty and Majestic. How many a person increased in faith when his response was delayed, and increased in turning to and needing Allah when the response to his request was delayed. And it is not befitting for the supplicant to regret and rush, saying: “I supplicated and supplicated, but I was not answered.” Rather, he should persist and persist repeatedly, for he is not at all disappointed, because Allah the Exalted: either He answers him, or He averts from him some evil that is greater than what he is in, or He stores up for him a reward and recompense on the Day of Resurrection.
The questioner : May Allah bless you.
The Shaykh : I advise her to be patient, to seek reward from Allah, and to try as much as she can to improve the relationship between her and her husband. With her supplication to Allah the Exalted, seeking His help, and having good intentions, she will achieve her goal, for Allah the Exalted does not waste the reward of one who does good work. And do not rush to seek separation.
As for our prayer for her: I ask Allah the Exalted to improve her situation with her husband. But I inform her, and others as well, that a person’s supplication for himself is better than asking someone else to do it. For it is better for him that he is the one who supplicates to Allah the Exalted than that he says: “O so-and-so, pray to Allah for me,” because Allah the Exalted says:
And your Lord says, "Call upon Me; I will respond to you."
وَقَالَ رَبُّكُمُ ادْعُونِي أَسْتَجِبْ لَكُمْAnd there is no doubt that one who asks others for supplication will experience some humiliation and abasement before the one he is asking. So it is better for you not to ask anyone and remain dignified than to ask a person to pray for you. My advice to this woman and others is to supplicate to their Lord, Mighty and Majestic, and not to turn to anyone else, and to supplicate to Allah while being certain of the response and not considering it unlikely. And let them repeat the asking and supplication, for Allah the Exalted loves those who persist in supplication.
And let them know that Allah the Exalted may withhold from them what they supplicated for for their own benefit, until they repeat the supplication and sincerely turn to Allah, Mighty and Majestic. Supplication itself is an act of worship that brings one closer to Allah, and waiting for relief from Allah the Exalted is an act of worship that necessitates the attachment of the servant’s heart to his Lord, Mighty and Majestic. How many a person increased in faith when his response was delayed, and increased in turning to and needing Allah when the response to his request was delayed. And it is not befitting for the supplicant to regret and rush, saying: “I supplicated and supplicated, but I was not answered.” Rather, he should persist and persist repeatedly, for he is not at all disappointed, because Allah the Exalted: either He answers him, or He averts from him some evil that is greater than what he is in, or He stores up for him a reward and recompense on the Day of Resurrection.
The questioner : May Allah bless you.