Some women complain about the mention of plural marriage in gatherings, and their behavior even changes when plural marriage is mentioned. What is your advice for these women?
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The questioner : The questioner says: Some women complain about the mention of plural marriage in gatherings, and their behavior even changes when plural marriage is mentioned. What is your advice for these women?
The Shaykh : By plural marriage, he means having multiple wives. By nature, a woman dislikes plural marriage, and she experiences jealousy that reaches almost the point of madness.
The questioner : Yes, Shaykh.
The Shaykh : She is not to be blamed for this, as it is the nature of women. However, the wise woman does not let the side of emotion and jealousy override the side of wisdom and the Shari'ah. The Shari'ah has permitted a man to have multiple wives on the condition that he is secure from himself regarding injustice and is capable of being just. Allah the Exalted said:[An-Nisa 4:3] meaning, do not be unjust. Thus, Allah made it obligatory to restrict oneself to one wife if a person fears that he will not be just.
A woman, without doubt, changes her behavior toward her husband when she hears that he wants to marry another. However, she should strengthen her resolve and reassure herself, knowing that this aversion and jealousy will disappear once the marriage takes place, as is proven by experience. But the husband must fear Allah (Mighty and Majestic) in establishing justice between the first and second wife, because some husbands, when they desire the second, become unjust to the first and forget the happy life they had before. He leans more toward the second. Whoever is like that should prepare for the punishment mentioned by the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him):Sunan Abi Dawud 2133Sahih (Al-Albani) and refuge is sought in Allah. The entire world bears witness to it; they bear witness to it, and its portion is tilted because he turned away from justice, so he was recompensed with the like of his sin. We ask Allah for safety. Yes.
The questioner : Shaykh, justice in financial maintenance, in staying the night, in?
The Shaykh : Justice in everything possible, everything in which justice is possible, in financial maintenance, in staying the night, and even in sexual intercourse if he is capable. Yes.
The questioner : May Allah reward you and bless you.
The Shaykh : By plural marriage, he means having multiple wives. By nature, a woman dislikes plural marriage, and she experiences jealousy that reaches almost the point of madness.
The questioner : Yes, Shaykh.
The Shaykh : She is not to be blamed for this, as it is the nature of women. However, the wise woman does not let the side of emotion and jealousy override the side of wisdom and the Shari'ah. The Shari'ah has permitted a man to have multiple wives on the condition that he is secure from himself regarding injustice and is capable of being just. Allah the Exalted said:
then marry those that please you of [other] women, two or three or four. But if you fear that you will not be just, then [marry only] one or those your right hand possesses. That is more suitable that you may not incline [to injustice].
فَانكِحوا ما طابَ لَكُم مِنَ النِّساءِ مَثنى وَثُلاثَ وَرُباعَ فَإِن خِفتُم أَلّا تَعدِلوا فَواحِدَةً أَو ما مَلَكَت أَيمانُكُم ذلِكَ أَدنى أَلّا تَعولواA woman, without doubt, changes her behavior toward her husband when she hears that he wants to marry another. However, she should strengthen her resolve and reassure herself, knowing that this aversion and jealousy will disappear once the marriage takes place, as is proven by experience. But the husband must fear Allah (Mighty and Majestic) in establishing justice between the first and second wife, because some husbands, when they desire the second, become unjust to the first and forget the happy life they had before. He leans more toward the second. Whoever is like that should prepare for the punishment mentioned by the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him):
When a man has two wives and he is inclined to one of them, he will come on the Day of resurrection with a side hanging down.
من كانت له امرأتان فمال إلى إحداهما جاء يوم القيامة وشقّه مائلThe questioner : Shaykh, justice in financial maintenance, in staying the night, in?
The Shaykh : Justice in everything possible, everything in which justice is possible, in financial maintenance, in staying the night, and even in sexual intercourse if he is capable. Yes.
The questioner : May Allah reward you and bless you.