What is your opinion on plural marriage and what are its conditions?
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The questioner : The questioner, S. A. from Riyadh, says: O honorable Shaykh, what is your opinion on plural marriage and what is its condition?
The Shaykh : Our opinion on plural marriage is that it is better than limiting oneself to one wife, because of the increase in offspring and the protection of chastity. It is the norm in societies that women are more numerous than men, so they need someone to protect their chastity. If a man has one wife, he has done good to one woman and taught her from what Allah taught of the matters of the Shari'ah. If he has two, he has increased in good by teaching two and guiding them and providing for them. If he has three, it is more, and if he has four, it is even more. So the more wives a man has, I mean the more wives, the better and more good it is for the benefits that result from it. However, there must be conditions. The first condition is financial capability, meaning the man must have what to pay as mahr and what to spend on the wives.
The second is physical capability, meaning the man must have desire and strength such that he can fulfill his obligatory duty toward these wives.
And the third condition is the capability to be just, meaning he knows from himself that he is able to be just between the new wife and the old wife. If he fears for himself that he will not be just, Allah Blessed and Exalted is He said:[An-Nisa 4:3] meaning, then limit yourselves to one .
In the case of plural marriage, the wife should not get angry, be sad, or treat the husband with ill behavior on the basis that he married another, because that is his right. She must be patient and seek reward from Allah for what has happened to her that makes her life difficult. If she does that, Allah Mighty and Majestic will help her to bear this matter which she sees as one of the greatest calamities.
Therefore, we hear that in some places where men have plural wives, and where plural marriage is a normal matter, we hear that the old wife does not worry, does not become upset, and does not get sad when her husband marries a new wife. So the matter is based on custom. If men in a country do not customarily practice plural marriage, it is difficult for a woman to accept plural marriage. And if it is their custom to practice plural marriage, it is easy for her. So we say to the woman whose husband has married another: be patient and seek reward from Allah until Allah helps you with that and helps your husband to be just.
And let the husband beware of injustice between the wives and lack of fairness. The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) warned against one who does that in his saying:Sunan Abi Dawud 2133Sahih (Al-Albani) And he must be just between the wives in everything: in conversation, in intimacy, in openness, in spending the night, in everything, in everything he is able to do.
As for love, it is a matter not within a person's choice. Therefore, it is not obligatory for him to be just between them in love, because that is not up to him. The hearts are in the hand of Allah Mighty and Majestic, and He directs them as He wills. But whatever justice he is able to perform is obligatory upon him. Yes.
The questioner : May Allah reward you, O honorable Shaykh, and may Allah bless you and your knowledge, and benefit the Muslims through you.
O beloved brothers, O dear listening brothers, he answered.
The Shaykh : Our opinion on plural marriage is that it is better than limiting oneself to one wife, because of the increase in offspring and the protection of chastity. It is the norm in societies that women are more numerous than men, so they need someone to protect their chastity. If a man has one wife, he has done good to one woman and taught her from what Allah taught of the matters of the Shari'ah. If he has two, he has increased in good by teaching two and guiding them and providing for them. If he has three, it is more, and if he has four, it is even more. So the more wives a man has, I mean the more wives, the better and more good it is for the benefits that result from it. However, there must be conditions. The first condition is financial capability, meaning the man must have what to pay as mahr and what to spend on the wives.
The second is physical capability, meaning the man must have desire and strength such that he can fulfill his obligatory duty toward these wives.
And the third condition is the capability to be just, meaning he knows from himself that he is able to be just between the new wife and the old wife. If he fears for himself that he will not be just, Allah Blessed and Exalted is He said:
But if you fear that you will not be just, then [marry only] one
فإن خفتم ألا تعدلوا فواحدةthat is closer to you not being biased
ذلك أدنى ألا تعولواIn the case of plural marriage, the wife should not get angry, be sad, or treat the husband with ill behavior on the basis that he married another, because that is his right. She must be patient and seek reward from Allah for what has happened to her that makes her life difficult. If she does that, Allah Mighty and Majestic will help her to bear this matter which she sees as one of the greatest calamities.
Therefore, we hear that in some places where men have plural wives, and where plural marriage is a normal matter, we hear that the old wife does not worry, does not become upset, and does not get sad when her husband marries a new wife. So the matter is based on custom. If men in a country do not customarily practice plural marriage, it is difficult for a woman to accept plural marriage. And if it is their custom to practice plural marriage, it is easy for her. So we say to the woman whose husband has married another: be patient and seek reward from Allah until Allah helps you with that and helps your husband to be just.
And let the husband beware of injustice between the wives and lack of fairness. The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) warned against one who does that in his saying:
When a man has two wives and he is inclined to one of them, he will come on the Day of resurrection with a side hanging down.
من كان له امرأتان فمال إلى إحداهما جاء يوم القيامة وشقه مائلAs for love, it is a matter not within a person's choice. Therefore, it is not obligatory for him to be just between them in love, because that is not up to him. The hearts are in the hand of Allah Mighty and Majestic, and He directs them as He wills. But whatever justice he is able to perform is obligatory upon him. Yes.
The questioner : May Allah reward you, O honorable Shaykh, and may Allah bless you and your knowledge, and benefit the Muslims through you.
O beloved brothers, O dear listening brothers, he answered.