Is there evidence from the practical, applied Sunnah that it is the man who determines the woman's mahr?
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The questioner : A questioner asks: Is there evidence in the practical, applied Sunnah that it is the man who determines the mahr for the wife?
The Shaykh : The intended meaning of "determining" is not what I think he intends.The questioner : Because I understand that "determining" may be required of the girl's wali (guardian); he asks for a specific amount. If it agrees with what the suitor has, it does no harm if the one who set the value of the mahr was not the suitor directly. But where does the evidence come from if the girl's wali determines the mahr and it does not agree with what the suitor has? In that case, the suitor is the one who determines it. Then the wali must submit to this determination and not reject his proposal because he set a mahr that did not please him, because in this case it contradicts the famous hadith that has reached your ears more than once:Jami` at-Tirmidhi 1084Da'if (Darussalam) So, in terms of the outcome and result, the determination belongs to the suitor, but in terms of the preliminaries, it is not important, because the matter is as he (peace be upon him) said: And the hadith of the woman who offered herself to the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) and presented herself to him in the well-known hadith, which I referred to in the word of my brother Abu Malik, may Allah reward him with good. When the woman found that the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him and his family) had no need for her, that man stood up and said: "O Messenger of Allah, marry me to her." He said: So, it was he who determined it, not the woman, nor the woman's wali. Similarly, the story of 'Abd al-Rahman ibn 'Awf, who saw the Messenger (peace be upon him) with the signs of marriage on him, so he asked him about the news, and he said that he had married. He said: Sahih al-Bukhari 2049, Who provided the mahr? He himself said: A date pit of gold. He said: So, these hadiths and those similar to them only speak about the outcome and the final state of the mahr that the suitor ended up with from the person, as for the preliminaries, they neither advance nor delay.
The Shaykh : The intended meaning of "determining" is not what I think he intends.The questioner : Because I understand that "determining" may be required of the girl's wali (guardian); he asks for a specific amount. If it agrees with what the suitor has, it does no harm if the one who set the value of the mahr was not the suitor directly. But where does the evidence come from if the girl's wali determines the mahr and it does not agree with what the suitor has? In that case, the suitor is the one who determines it. Then the wali must submit to this determination and not reject his proposal because he set a mahr that did not please him, because in this case it contradicts the famous hadith that has reached your ears more than once:
When someone whose religion and character you are pleased with proposes to (someone under the care) of one of you, then marry to him. If you do not do so, then there will be turmoil (Fitnah) in the land and abounding discord (Fasad).
إذا جاءكم من ترضون دينه وخلقه فزوجوه إلا تفعلوا تكن فتنة في الأرض وفساد عريضDeeds are only by their endings
إنما الأعمال بالخواتيمDo you have anything? He said: No. He said: Seek even an iron ring. He said: I do not find anything except this garment of mine. He said: Do you memorize anything of the Qur'an? He said: Yes. He said: I have married her to you with what you have of the Qur'an.
هل عندك شيء؟ قال: لا قال: التمس ولو خاتم من حديد قال لا أجد إلا ثوبي هذا قال: هل تحفظ شيئًا من القرآن؟ قال: نعم قال: زوجتكها بما معك من القرآنWhat did you pay her?" He replied, "A gold stone
كم أمهرتها؟ قال: نواة من ذهبHow much did you give her as mahr?
كم أمهرتهاHold a feast, even if it is only with a sheep
أولم ولو بشاة
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