Is there any guidance for those who are lax about divorce and turn to the judge in order to seek excuses?
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The questioner : Some people are lax about divorce, and then they turn to the judge seeking excuses. Perhaps you have some guidance, O honorable Shaykh Muhammad?
The Shaykh : Yes. The reality is that the matter is as you said: people are negligent regarding divorce, and a man divorces his wife over the slightest reason. Then, once he has divorced her, he goes knocking on the doors of scholars and sitting on their thresholds, hoping to find a way out. But whoever does not fear Allah, Allah will not make a way out for him. Allah the Exalted said:[At-Talaq 65:2] It is obligatory for men to keep their tongues pure from divorce, to be patient, to seek refuge in Allah from the accursed Shaytan when anger strikes, and to look at the consequences.
Just as people have been negligent regarding the issue of divorce, they have also been negligent regarding the issue of swearing oaths of divorce. So many of them, over the slightest reason, say: "I am divorced if I do not do such-and-such," or "I am divorced if I do such-and-such," or "If I do such-and-such, my wife is divorced," or "If you do not stay until you eat from my table, my wife is divorced," and the like of tying divorce to trivial matters that a person has no need or necessity for. Then, when they fall into breaking their oath, they go seeking scholars from every direction, asking them, hoping to find a way out of this tight spot. All of this is due to negligence regarding the laws of Allah and not caring about them. The wonder is that these who divorce with such ease may have only obtained this wife after great hardship in reaching her, either because of their inability to pay the mahr, or because people rejected them and would not marry them to them, or for other reasons. And yet, you find that the easiest thing for him is to say to her, "You are divorced." So my advice to my brothers is not to be hasty in divorce or in swearing oaths of divorce, and that they have resolve and strength that overcomes their anger, as the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said:Sahih Muslim 2609a Yes.
The questioner : May Allah bless you. This is a listener from Baljurashi who has symbolized his name with the letters G and H. He says:
The Shaykh : Yes. The reality is that the matter is as you said: people are negligent regarding divorce, and a man divorces his wife over the slightest reason. Then, once he has divorced her, he goes knocking on the doors of scholars and sitting on their thresholds, hoping to find a way out. But whoever does not fear Allah, Allah will not make a way out for him. Allah the Exalted said:
And whoever fears Allah - He will make for him a way out
وَمَنْ يَتَّقِ اللَّهَ يَجْعَلْ لَهُ مَخْرَجًاJust as people have been negligent regarding the issue of divorce, they have also been negligent regarding the issue of swearing oaths of divorce. So many of them, over the slightest reason, say: "I am divorced if I do not do such-and-such," or "I am divorced if I do such-and-such," or "If I do such-and-such, my wife is divorced," or "If you do not stay until you eat from my table, my wife is divorced," and the like of tying divorce to trivial matters that a person has no need or necessity for. Then, when they fall into breaking their oath, they go seeking scholars from every direction, asking them, hoping to find a way out of this tight spot. All of this is due to negligence regarding the laws of Allah and not caring about them. The wonder is that these who divorce with such ease may have only obtained this wife after great hardship in reaching her, either because of their inability to pay the mahr, or because people rejected them and would not marry them to them, or for other reasons. And yet, you find that the easiest thing for him is to say to her, "You are divorced." So my advice to my brothers is not to be hasty in divorce or in swearing oaths of divorce, and that they have resolve and strength that overcomes their anger, as the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said:
The strong-man is not one who wrestles well but the strong man is one who controls himself when he is in a fit of rage.
ليس الشديد بالصُرعة إنما الشديد الذي يملك نفسه عند الغضبThe questioner : May Allah bless you. This is a listener from Baljurashi who has symbolized his name with the letters G and H. He says: