My husband has passed away, and I have several children, some of whom are adults and some are minors. Is it permissible for us, if we visit them and they serve us tea and coffee, to drink it?
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The questioner : A woman whose husband has died has several children, some of whom are adults and some are minors. Is it permissible for us, if we visit them and they serve us tea and coffee, to drink it?
The Shaykh : Do you mean if they come to the woman?
The questioner : Yes.
The Shaykh : The woman in 'iddah?
The questioner : Yes.
The Shaykh : I do not think there is any problem with this. Perhaps she is asking whether these boys, who are ten years old or so, are permitted to look at the woman in 'iddah? If that is the case, the woman in 'iddah is like any other woman regarding looking at her and speaking with her. The strictness mentioned by the common people in this regard has no basis. The woman in 'iddah must avoid the following: First, she must avoid adorning herself with clothing, so she should not wear clothes that are considered adornment or embellishment.
Second, she must avoid perfume in all its forms, whether oil, incense, or otherwise, on her body or on her clothes, except if she has purified herself from menstruation and a foul odor remains, in which case she may use incense.
Third, she must avoid wearing jewelry of any kind on any part of her body, whether the jewelry is gold, silver, pearls, or other gems, and whether it is on her hands like bracelets, on her ears like earrings, on her feet like anklets, or on her chest like necklaces. All types of jewelry are forbidden for the woman whose husband has died until her 'iddah ends.
Fourth, she must avoid all types of beautification, such as kohl, henna, powder, and others.
Fifth, she must avoid leaving the house except for a need during the day or a dire necessity at night. A need during the day is, for example, if she needs to go out to relieve herself and no one is available to do so for her, or if she goes to visit the court, or goes to teach or study. In this case, it is permissible during the day but not at night.
As for a dire necessity at night, this is, for example, if she fears for her safety from open sinners, or if the house is on the verge of collapsing and there are rains that are feared to cause it to fall. In that case, she goes out. Yes.
The questioner : The questioner says.
The Shaykh : Do you mean if they come to the woman?
The questioner : Yes.
The Shaykh : The woman in 'iddah?
The questioner : Yes.
The Shaykh : I do not think there is any problem with this. Perhaps she is asking whether these boys, who are ten years old or so, are permitted to look at the woman in 'iddah? If that is the case, the woman in 'iddah is like any other woman regarding looking at her and speaking with her. The strictness mentioned by the common people in this regard has no basis. The woman in 'iddah must avoid the following: First, she must avoid adorning herself with clothing, so she should not wear clothes that are considered adornment or embellishment.
Second, she must avoid perfume in all its forms, whether oil, incense, or otherwise, on her body or on her clothes, except if she has purified herself from menstruation and a foul odor remains, in which case she may use incense.
Third, she must avoid wearing jewelry of any kind on any part of her body, whether the jewelry is gold, silver, pearls, or other gems, and whether it is on her hands like bracelets, on her ears like earrings, on her feet like anklets, or on her chest like necklaces. All types of jewelry are forbidden for the woman whose husband has died until her 'iddah ends.
Fourth, she must avoid all types of beautification, such as kohl, henna, powder, and others.
Fifth, she must avoid leaving the house except for a need during the day or a dire necessity at night. A need during the day is, for example, if she needs to go out to relieve herself and no one is available to do so for her, or if she goes to visit the court, or goes to teach or study. In this case, it is permissible during the day but not at night.
As for a dire necessity at night, this is, for example, if she fears for her safety from open sinners, or if the house is on the verge of collapsing and there are rains that are feared to cause it to fall. In that case, she goes out. Yes.
The questioner : The questioner says.