The rulings that are obligatory upon a woman whose husband has died

Question:
The questioner: Your Eminence, we move on to another letter from one of the female listeners, (N. M. T.) from Riyadh. She describes herself as saying: I am a committed girl, and I have been married—praise be to Allah—for two years, and I am currently pregnant. Then Allah decreed that my husband passed away in an accident. What is obligatory for me during the waiting period? Because my sisters in Allah, each one of them gives me advice, saying: Do not take a bath, do not use kohl, do not wear clothes other than black, do not look at the moon, and do not look at the stars, and when the call to prayer is made, you pray with the men. What is obligatory for me in detail? May Allah reward you with good. And is it permissible for me to uncover my face in front of a boy who is thirteen years old?

Answer:
The widow whose husband has died must observe five matters that came in the Sunnah from the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him).
The first matter: She remains in the house in which her husband died and in which she was residing. She stays there, if she is able to do so, until she completes her waiting period by giving birth to the child, or by the passage of four months and ten days. There is no harm in her going out for her needs, such as going to a doctor or a hospital, or going to a lawsuit in court, or for needs that require her to go to the market, and the like of her needs. There is no harm in her leaving the house if there is someone in it who keeps her company and she feels lonely; there is no harm in her moving from it if she has no one to keep her company, or if the house is dilapidated and it is not good to remain in it, or something similar to that.
The second: She does not wear beautiful clothes. She wears ordinary clothes that do not attract attention. Ordinary black or green; it is not necessary to wear black. It is not obligatory to wear black. Whatever is available: green, black, red, or otherwise. But they must be ordinary clothes that do not attract attention and cause fitnah (trial, discord or temptation).
The third: Not wearing jewelry, neither gold nor silver nor diamonds. She does not wear jewelry because it may cause fitnah (trial, discord or temptation) and attract the gaze of husbands.
The fourth: Not using perfume. She does not perfume herself with incense or any other of the perfumes until she completes the waiting period, except if she is a young woman who menstruates; whenever she becomes pure from her menstruation, she may use some incense after becoming pure from her menstruation. There is no harm in perfuming the house, the room, and the house; there is no harm in that, but she does not perfume herself.
The fifth: Not using kohl, makeup, and the like, and not using henna. Rather, she cleans her face and body without these, such as with sidr (lote tree) and soap and the like; there is no harm in that. As for kohl, makeup, and henna, no. If she leaves the scented soap, that would be better; otherwise, it is not a perfume, but it has some scent in it. If she leaves it, it is from the perspective of: there is no harm. These five matters are what is required of the widow.
As for her looking at the moon or the stars, there is no harm in this. There is no blame on her if she goes to the garden, the garden of the house, and walks in it barefoot, or with socks on, or with sandals; there is no harm. There is no harm in her going up to the roof, even on a clear night; there is no blame in this. There is no harm in her taking a bath whenever she wishes, meaning: she may take a full ritual bath whenever she wishes, on Friday, or on a day other than Friday, whenever she wishes, even every day; there is no blame on her for that. There is no harm in her using things like cream, like shampoo, like other things she needs, and sidr, and the like; there is no harm in any of this.
The common people have many superstitions that one should not pay attention to in this matter. There is no harm in any of this... There is no harm in small children looking at her. But if he is an adolescent, the safest course is to cover herself from him; the safest course; because he may have reached puberty. So the safest course is that she does not uncover herself to him, and that she covers herself from him. There is no harm in her speaking to men, that she greets them, returns their greeting by way of the telephone, or by way of direct interaction if they greet her, or ask her about a need, and request the door for a need, in a manner that contains no suspicion or wrongdoing.

The presenter : And behind a veil?

The Shaykh : And behind a veil, and she is veiled; there is no harm. All of this is permissible, or she speaks by telephone to her relatives, or returns the telephone; all of this is permissible. And as for what the common people say about being strict, this has no basis.

The presenter : May Allah reward you with good.