That enjoining good be beneficial without harshness or causing aversion.
Machine translationRead the Arabic original
The Shaykh : The third point is that the command must be beneficial.
What does "beneficial" mean? It means that it is done in a manner that is acceptable to the person, such that one does not resort to violence or harshness that causes the one being commanded to turn away. If you approach with harshness, the person will turn away from your command. But if you approach with gentleness and softness, he will not turn away; his heart will be at ease, his chest will open up, he will love you, and he will accept it from you. This is something observable. You will find a student of knowledge, or even a great scholar, commanding a person to do good, but he does so with violence, so the person does not accept it. Then a common man from the market comes and speaks to him with ease and softness, and the person accepts it. Is that not so? Yes, generally he accepts it, because the manner or form of the command has an effect on the one being commanded.
What does "beneficial" mean? It means that it is done in a manner that is acceptable to the person, such that one does not resort to violence or harshness that causes the one being commanded to turn away. If you approach with harshness, the person will turn away from your command. But if you approach with gentleness and softness, he will not turn away; his heart will be at ease, his chest will open up, he will love you, and he will accept it from you. This is something observable. You will find a student of knowledge, or even a great scholar, commanding a person to do good, but he does so with violence, so the person does not accept it. Then a common man from the market comes and speaks to him with ease and softness, and the person accepts it. Is that not so? Yes, generally he accepts it, because the manner or form of the command has an effect on the one being commanded.