How to Deal with Sinners and Whether It Is Prescribed to Boycott Them

The Shaykh : I say, may Allah reward you: There is no doubt that we dislike sins and we dislike committing them. But if a person commits a sin that does not take him out of the religion, we love him for the faith he possesses and we dislike him for the sin he possesses. We try to advise him to the best of our ability, and we do not boycott him. We do not boycott the sinner except when there is a benefit in boycotting him, such that he is deterred from his sin. In that case, we boycott him. But if boycotting him would only cause him to increase in sin, and he would hate us and hate our advice, then boycotting him in this case would only increase the severity of the matter. If someone were to ask, "Did not the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) and his Companions boycott Ka'b ibn Malik, Hilal ibn Umayyah, and Murarah ibn al-Rabi' when they lagged behind the expedition to Tabuk without an excuse?" We say, yes. But did boycotting these three benefit them or not? There is no doubt that it benefited them. It brought about a great benefit: the earth became narrow to them despite its vastness, and their souls became narrow to them. They thought—meaning they were certain—that there is no refuge from Allah except in Him. So they turned to Allah. And what happened? Allah accepted their repentance and revealed verses about them that are recited in prayer. That is, no one among the people has Allah spoken about with praise and repentance in His Book except these three from the Companions. And this is a great virtue. Indeed, Allah said to all the believers: Be with these truthful ones. So if boycotting benefits them, and they turn to Allah until Allah relieves them and reveals their repentance, then suppose we encounter a man who shaves his beard. Shaving the beard is forbidden, a sin, a transgression. A person increases in sin and guilt by it because he openly defies Allah by disobeying the Messenger of Allah. What did the Messenger say? He said: Here comes this man who shaves it. Did he say to the Messenger, "Hear and obey"? No, he did not obey the Messenger; he disobeyed. So it is a sin. But this is a man we encountered who has shaved his beard. Do we boycott him? If boycotting benefits us—if by boycotting him, people boycott him and he repents to Allah and returns—then we boycott him. But if our boycotting him causes him to hate us in his heart, and to hate our words and our advice, do we boycott him in this case? Never. We treat him with calmness. These matters, my brothers, should not be dominated by the side of emotion over the side of wisdom, is that not so? It is true that a person's blood may boil when he sees this man openly defying Allah by shaving his beard. But it is not wise to boycott him, because I know that if I boycott him, he will not care about me at all, and he will not accept my advice, and he will carry hatred for me in his heart. But if I greet him, he may love me and take from me and accept from me. The goal is reform: the reform of these people, the reform of the sinner. Is the goal the reform of the sinner or taking revenge on him? The goal is his reform by any means. I say, his reform by any means. And one of the means is that if we see that boycotting him would cause him to increase in his sin, then we do not boycott him. We greet him and make him accustomed to us, and we advise him. So this man: we love the faith he possesses and we dislike the sin he possesses. Now, let us return to what concerns fasting.