My brother has decided to get married, but the family is one with whom we have a dispute, so we tried to dissuade him from his decision by telling him that she is not beautiful and not of good religion, until
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The questioner : May the Shaykh be honored. My brother has decided to marry a woman, but she is from a family with whom we have disputes. We tried to dissuade him from his decision by telling him that she is not beautiful and that she is not of good religion, until he changed his mind about the marriage and married another woman. In reality, what we said about her is not true. Do we bear any sin for that? May you be rewarded.
The Shaykh : Praise be to Allah, Lord of the worlds, and I send prayers and peace upon our Prophet Muhammad, the Seal of the Prophets, the Imam of the Pious, and the Intimate Friend of the Lord of the worlds, and upon his family and his Companions, and those who follow them with excellence until the Day of Judgment. It is incumbent upon a person, when he wants to get married, to choose what the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) chose, where he said:Sahih al-Bukhari 5090 The most important thing in a woman is that she be righteous in her religion and upright in her morals, for these are the most important qualities sought in a woman. It is incumbent upon one who wants to marry a woman to consult with his family and his brothers before proceeding. If the opinion agrees on a woman, then that is what is required. If the opinion differs, there is no doubt that the opinion of the suitor takes precedence, because he is the one who will live with this woman in her good and her bad. It is not permissible for his family to oppose him in what he wants, because that is an obstacle between a person and what is his right. If they see that this suitor is determined to marry this woman who pleased him, it is not permissible for them to prevent him from her under any circumstances.
These people who tried to prevent their companion by lying about the woman and describing her as not beautiful and not righteous in her religion are sinful, because they said about the woman what is not in her. And the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said regarding backbiting:Sunan Abi Dawud 4874Sahih (Al-Albani) They said: O Messenger of Allah! What do you say if my brother has what I am saying? He said: Sunan Abi Dawud 4874Sahih (Al-Albani) They could have dissuaded their companion from his decision by other means than defaming this woman. They must repent to Allah (Mighty and Majestic) and seek forgiveness for the woman they described with defects that she does not have. Perhaps Allah will accept their repentance.
But I repeat once again: it is not permissible for anyone to stand between a person and the woman he wants from among women and prevent him from proposing to her, whether it is the father, the mother, the brother, the uncle, or any person. Yes, if it were assumed that the man chose one who has no religion at all, such as if he knew that she is a woman who does not pray, for example, then it is not permissible for him to propose to her, and it is permissible for her family to prevent him from her, because it is not permissible for a Muslim to marry one who does not pray. A Muslim does not marry a disbeliever ever, except the People of the Book, for Allah has permitted us their women and permitted us their slaughtered animals. He said, the Exalted:[Al-Ma'idah 5:5].
I say and repeat: it is not permissible for a person to stand between a man and his fiancée if he desires her. Yes, if he sees that it is in the interest that he not marry her, let him advise him and try to convince him. But if he insists on proposing to this woman, it is not permissible for anyone to prevent him from her except for a religious reason. Yes.
The questioner : May Allah bless you. The listener is Abdul Karim Yusuf, a Sudanese working in Yemen. He says: May the Shaykh be honored.
The Shaykh : Praise be to Allah, Lord of the worlds, and I send prayers and peace upon our Prophet Muhammad, the Seal of the Prophets, the Imam of the Pious, and the Intimate Friend of the Lord of the worlds, and upon his family and his Companions, and those who follow them with excellence until the Day of Judgment. It is incumbent upon a person, when he wants to get married, to choose what the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) chose, where he said:
A woman is married for four things, i.e., her wealth, her family status, her beauty and her religion. So you should marry the religious woman (otherwise) you will be a losers.
تُنكح المرأة لأربع: لمالها وحسبها وجمالها ودينها، فاظفر بذات الدين تربت يداكThese people who tried to prevent their companion by lying about the woman and describing her as not beautiful and not righteous in her religion are sinful, because they said about the woman what is not in her. And the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said regarding backbiting:
It is saying something about your brother which he would dislike
إنها ذكرك أخاك بما يكرهIf what you say of him is true, you have slandered him, and if what you say of him is not true, you have reviled him.
إن كان فيه ما تقول فقد اغتبته، وإن لم يكن فيه ما تقول فقد بهتهBut I repeat once again: it is not permissible for anyone to stand between a person and the woman he wants from among women and prevent him from proposing to her, whether it is the father, the mother, the brother, the uncle, or any person. Yes, if it were assumed that the man chose one who has no religion at all, such as if he knew that she is a woman who does not pray, for example, then it is not permissible for him to propose to her, and it is permissible for her family to prevent him from her, because it is not permissible for a Muslim to marry one who does not pray. A Muslim does not marry a disbeliever ever, except the People of the Book, for Allah has permitted us their women and permitted us their slaughtered animals. He said, the Exalted:
This day [all] good foods have been made lawful, and the food of those who were given the Scripture is lawful for you and your food is lawful for them. And [lawful in marriage are] chaste women from among the believers and chaste women from among those who were given the Scripture before you, when you have given them their due compensation, desiring chastity, not unlawful sexual intercourse or taking [secret] lovers. And whoever denies the faith - his work has become worthless, and he, in the Hereafter, will be among the losers.
الْيَوْمَ أُحِلَّ لَكُمُ الطَّيِّبَاتُ وَطَعَامُ الَّذِينَ أُوتُوا الْكِتَابَ حِلٌّ لَكُمْ وَطَعَامُكُمْ حِلٌّ لَهُمْ وَالْمُحْصَنَاتُ مِنَ الْمُؤْمِنَاتِ وَالْمُحْصَنَاتُ مِنَ الَّذِينَ أُوتُوا الْكِتَابَ مِنْ قَبْلِكُمْ إِذَا ءاتَيْتُمُوهُنَّ أُجُورَهُنَّ مُحْصِنِينَ غَيْرَ مُسَافِحِينَ وَلا مُتَّخِذِي أَخْدَانٍ وَمَنْ يَكْفُرْ بِالإِيمَانِ فَقَدْ حَبِطَ عَمَلُهُ وَهُوَ فِي الآخِرَةِ مِنَ الْخَاسِرِينَI say and repeat: it is not permissible for a person to stand between a man and his fiancée if he desires her. Yes, if he sees that it is in the interest that he not marry her, let him advise him and try to convince him. But if he insists on proposing to this woman, it is not permissible for anyone to prevent him from her except for a religious reason. Yes.
The questioner : May Allah bless you. The listener is Abdul Karim Yusuf, a Sudanese working in Yemen. He says: May the Shaykh be honored.