It is our custom in Sudan that a person shakes hands with all the relatives, men and women, upon his return from abroad, and if he refuses to shake hands with the women from
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The questioner : He says that he is a young man from a village called Hilla al-Sharif in the Sudanese countryside, and he is currently working in the Kingdom. He says: "It is our custom, O honorable Shaykh, that a person shakes hands with all the relatives, men and women, upon his return from abroad. If he refuses to do so, for example, to shake hands with the women who are his cousins, his maternal aunts, or his maternal uncles' daughters, and the like, they consider him arrogant, haughty, and arrogant, and they speak ill of him. Some of them even shake your hand against your will, even though everyone is present in the house. Is it permissible for us to shake hands with the women upon our return, even just once, knowing that our hearts are pure when we shake hands with them?"
The Shaykh : It is not permissible for a man to shake hands with a woman who is not one of his mahram (close relatives), whether she is his cousin, his maternal aunt's daughter, his paternal aunt's daughter, or his maternal uncle's daughter. It is also not permissible for him to look at her face. If people have become accustomed to the woman shaking hands with the one who has returned from travel, even if she has no mahram, then this is a custom that contradicts the Shari'ah. And whatever contradicts the Shari'ah, it is obligatory to abandon it, because the Shari'ah is the judge, not the one who is judged.
Therefore, you must refrain from shaking hands with the women who are not your mahram, and you should explain to them that this is what the Shari'ah requires. If they know this, they will excuse you, and there will be nothing in their hearts against you.
But the problem is that many people do not have the courage to refrain from customs that contradict the Shari'ah; rather, they find themselves compelled to follow people in their customs. This is a deficiency in faith and a deficiency in courage, because the obligation, as I said earlier, is that the Shari'ah should be the judge, not the one who is judged. Customs cannot be judges except in matters where the Shari'ah has referred the judgment to them. For example, the Shari'ah has referred some matters to custom, such as the saying of Allah the Exalted: [Al-Baqarah 2:228] [Al-Baqarah 2:233] and many other matters that the Shari'ah has referred to custom. These are the matters in which custom is applied. But as for what the Shari'ah has ruled upon with a specific judgment, it is not permissible to contradict the Shari'ah in order to conform to custom. Yes.
The questioner : May Allah reward you. This listener, who used the initials K.A. for his name, says: O honorable Shaykh.
The Shaykh : It is not permissible for a man to shake hands with a woman who is not one of his mahram (close relatives), whether she is his cousin, his maternal aunt's daughter, his paternal aunt's daughter, or his maternal uncle's daughter. It is also not permissible for him to look at her face. If people have become accustomed to the woman shaking hands with the one who has returned from travel, even if she has no mahram, then this is a custom that contradicts the Shari'ah. And whatever contradicts the Shari'ah, it is obligatory to abandon it, because the Shari'ah is the judge, not the one who is judged.
Therefore, you must refrain from shaking hands with the women who are not your mahram, and you should explain to them that this is what the Shari'ah requires. If they know this, they will excuse you, and there will be nothing in their hearts against you.
But the problem is that many people do not have the courage to refrain from customs that contradict the Shari'ah; rather, they find themselves compelled to follow people in their customs. This is a deficiency in faith and a deficiency in courage, because the obligation, as I said earlier, is that the Shari'ah should be the judge, not the one who is judged. Customs cannot be judges except in matters where the Shari'ah has referred the judgment to them. For example, the Shari'ah has referred some matters to custom, such as the saying of Allah the Exalted:
And live with them in kindness
وَعَاشِرُوهُنَّ بِالْمَعْرُوفِAnd due to the wives is similar to what is expected of them, according to what is reasonable
وَلَهُنَّ مِثْلُ الَّذِي عَلَيْهِنَّ بِالْمَعْرُوفِUpon the father is the mothers' provision and their clothing according to what is acceptable.
وَعَلَى الْمَوْلُودِ لَهُ رِزْقُهُنَّ وَكِسْوَتُهُنَّ بِالْمَعْرُوفِThe questioner : May Allah reward you. This listener, who used the initials K.A. for his name, says: O honorable Shaykh.