Is it permissible for a young man to perform a recommended act, such as shortening his garment to the middle of the shin, or seeking knowledge that is not obligatory, if his parents dislike that?

The questioner : May Allah forgive you, O Shaykh: Is it permissible for a young man to perform one of the Sunnahs, such as fasting, or raising his garment to the middle of his shins, or seeking knowledge that is not obligatory, even though his parents dislike it for him? What is your guidance, O Shaykh?

The Shaykh : First: I advise some parents who are burdened when their child becomes righteous, whether male or female. As we have heard, some people—may Allah grant us well-being—feel pain when their son or daughter becomes righteous and try to prevent them from the remembrance of Allah and obedience to Allah. I advise these parents to avoid this ugly state. It is astonishing that the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said: Yet these people try to stand between the child and his righteousness, so that the child is not granted the ability to make du'a for them after their death. On the other hand, a righteous child is granted the ability to make du'a for his parents after their death. As for the child, he does not obey his parents in leaving the obedience of Allah, just as he does not obey them in the disobedience of Allah. However, obeying them in the disobedience of Allah is forbidden for him, and obeying them in leaving the non-obligatory obedience of Allah is up to him. This is because the recommended (mustahabb) is up to the person; if he wishes, he does it, and if he wishes, he does not. But if he wants to do it, he should conceal it from them, hiding as much of his righteous deed as possible. As for what concerns wearing the garment to the middle of the shin, this is an easy matter. I told the brother that wearing the garment to the middle of the shin is a Sunnah, and wearing it to below the middle of the shin is a Sunnah. What is prohibited is for it to be below the ankles. The Companions (may Allah be pleased with them), who were of higher status than those who came after them and more loving of good than those who came after them, had their garments reaching the ankle or slightly above it. As Abu Bakr (may Allah be pleased with him) said to the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him): This indicates that his izar (waist-wrap) hung down below the middle of his shin, because if it had been to the middle of his shin and hung loosely until it reached the ground, it would have resulted in what? The exposure of his 'awrah from above. And this is what was known among the Companions. So if you see, for example, that people dislike this way of dressing, meaning wearing to the middle of the shin or higher, and if you dress as people do, without extravagance or ostentation, that is more likely to lead to the acceptance of your words, praise be to Allah. Leave what you want to do in order to reconcile hearts and for the acceptance of your words. For this reason, I find that people's hearts soften toward the advisor if his dress is according to custom, but it is not forbidden to wear more than what you lean toward, which is raising the garment to the middle of the shin or more. A person may leave a recommended act to obtain something better than it. I think that if his parents tell him, "Lower your garment below the shin," I think he should obey them in this case, because all of it is Sunnah, praise be to Allah, and all of it was practiced by the Companions (may Allah be pleased with them).

The questioner : Okay, O Shaykh, may Allah be pleased with you, now the bathroom has become like a room, O Shaykh.

The Shaykh : Repeat, repeat.