Discussion of the etiquettes of greeting in Islam.

The Shaykh : In the exegesis of Surat al-Dhariyat, we have reached the saying of Allah, Blessed and Exalted is He: But I saw fit to speak about the etiquettes of greeting, since the angels said a greeting, and Ibrahim said a greeting. We mentioned previously that Ibrahim’s response was better than the angels’ initial greeting, because Ibrahim’s response was a nominal sentence, which implies permanence and continuity, unlike the angels’ greeting.
Know that responding to a greeting is obligatory, based on the saying of Allah, Blessed and Exalted is He: He said, “When you are greeted,” and He did not specify who greets us, so it includes any person who greets us. We greet them in return, responding with something better than their greeting or the same, as Allah the Exalted said: He began with the better one because it is the most preferred, or return it, meaning return the same. This includes if one of the Jews, Christians, Buddhists, or others greets us; we respond to them. However, we do not initiate the greeting to Jews and Christians, due to the prohibition of the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him and his family) regarding that.
Then, the greeting is said like this: “As-salamu alaykum.” This is what is prescribed. As for “Ahlan wa sahlan” (welcome), “Marhaban” (welcome), “How are you,” and the like, this is not prescribed. What is prescribed is to begin first with the greeting. That is why, in the hadith of the Mi'raj, when the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) passed by the prophets and greeted them, he said: So begin first by saying “As-salamu alaykum.” The response should be the same or better: “Alaykum as-salam” (peace be upon you), or “Wa alaykum as-salam” (and upon you peace), or “Alaykum as-salam wa rahmatullah” (peace be upon you and the mercy of Allah), or “Alaykum as-salam wa rahmatullah wa barakatuh” (peace be upon you and the mercy of Allah and His blessings). All of this is from what is prescribed.
We see many people, when greeted, say “Ahlan wa sahlan” or say “Marhaban bi Abi Fulan” (welcome to so-and-so’s father). This is not sufficient. I mean, if he said “Ahlan wa sahlan” for the rest of his life, it would not be sufficient, because Allah says: It is known that the one who says “As-salamu alayk” is praying for your safety from every deficiency, from every calamity, from every illness of the heart or body. It is not sufficient to say “Marhaban” and “Ahlan.” Rather, you must say “Alaykum as-salam” or “Wa alaykum as-salam.” If you add “wa rahmatullah wa barakatuh,” it is better.
Second, it is required of him to greet. The Sunnah clarified this. The young person greets the elder, because the right of the elder is greater than the right of the young person. The elder has a greater right over the young person than the young person has over the elder. So the young person begins by greeting the elder. But if it happens that he did not greet, does the elder leave the greeting because the right is his, or does he greet so that the Sunnah is not missed? The answer is: he greets so that the Sunnah is not missed. For a person to say, “I am the one with the right, why did he not greet me?” is a mistake. Yes, you are the one with the right, and it is prescribed that he should greet you, but if he did not do so, you greet. The one walking also greets the one sitting, even if the one sitting is younger. If a person passes by someone sitting, let him greet him, even if he is younger in age or status. It was from the guidance of the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him and his family) that he would greet the children when he passed by them. In this is a great benefit, among which is humility, that a person lowers himself when he greets one who is below him. And among them is mercy, because your greeting to the young is a type of mercy. And the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) informed that the merciful are shown mercy by Allah, Mighty and Majestic. And among them is accustoming these children to the greeting, meaning the boy knows that the emblem of the Muslims is that they greet one another, so he takes from this an etiquette and character that he benefits from in his youth and after his old age.
Third: does the many greet the few, or the few greet the many? Which is more entitled? The few are like the young person with the elder. The few greet the many. I mean, if a group of five and six meet, who greets? The five greet the six, because the six have an increase. This increase has a right. The one with the increase has a right, so the few greet the many. And if they do not do so, let the many greet the few so that the Sunnah is not missed between them.
Likewise, the rider and the walker. Two men meet, one is walking and the other is riding in his car or on his camel. Who greets? The rider greets the walker, because the rider has a height, so he greets the walker, because the Sunnah came with this.
Now, does the one going up greet the one going down, or the one going down greet the one going up? The one going up greets the one going down. I mean, if two people meet on a staircase, the one going up is the one who greets the one going down. And if the Sunnah did not specify who should begin with it, let the second one begin with it. The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said: He said, “The best of them,” which indicates that the one who initiates the greeting to another is better. And that is so, because when you greet, you get ten good deeds, and then when your companion responds, he gets ten good deeds. What is the reason that makes him get ten good deeds? The reason is the initiator. If you had not greeted, he would not have responded. So you are the cause of this one who did a righteous deed, so you get his reward. For this reason, the scholars said that initiating the greeting is a recommended practice (sunnah) and responding to it is obligatory. Then they raised an objection, saying: Which is better, initiating the greeting or responding to the greeting? Initiating the greeting is better.
Then they raised an objection, saying: How can the recommended practice (sunnah) be better than the obligatory, when the legal principle is that the obligatory is better, as Allah the Exalted said in the Qudsi hadith: They answered that, saying: The answer to this objection is that this obligatory was based on the recommended practice (sunnah). So the recommended practice (sunnah) on which the obligatory was based, for the one who performed it, has the reward of its specific reward and the reward of the responder’s obligatory.
Likewise, the greeting should be with an audible voice. Some people meet you and greet, but you wonder if he greeted or not, because he did not raise his voice. This is a mistake. Raise your voice in a way that indicates you are happy with this brother who met you or whom you greeted. Not with a noisy voice, and not with a voice so low it is not heard. On the contrary, some people greet with a noisy voice. The religion is a middle ground between the extreme and the harsh. So we say: greet with an audible greeting that your brother hears, and let it be with etiquette and respect.
Among the etiquettes of greeting is also that the one greeting should have an open face and an open chest. It is well known that you should meet your brother with a pleasant face. There is no doubt that a pleasant face, an open chest, and a smile on your brother’s face are among the required matters, because of what they contain of bringing joy to your brothers. Bringing joy to your brothers is among the - sit down, O Abdullah, Abdullah, either sit down or leave - bringing joy to your brothers is among the recommended matters for which you are rewarded, based on the saying of the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him): And if the greeting is brought to you by a carrier, if the carrier is a person and he said, “So-and-so greets you,” say, “Alaykum wa alayhi as-salam” (peace be upon you and upon him). If you wish, say “Alayhi as-salam” (peace be upon him), meaning upon the one who carried it. But if it is carried by writing, meaning a person wrote you a letter and said, “As-salamu alaykum wa rahmatullah wa barakatuh,” if you want to respond to him by letter, respond to him with your answer. For example, a person wrote you a letter and said, “As-salamu alaykum wa rahmatullah wa barakatuh.” In the response, you write, “Jama' wa alaykum as-salam wa rahmatullah wa barakatuh” (I have received your letter and understood what was in it, and the answer is such and such). Most people nowadays do not pay attention to this. You find him writing the response and saying at the beginning, “As-salamu alaykum wa rahmatullah.” This is good, but the one who greeted you wants an answer. Say “Jama'” meaning “Wa alaykum as-salam wa rahmatullah wa barakatuh, I received your letter or I read your letter and understood what was in it, and this is the answer.” And answer him with what he asked. So if the greeting is written, its response is by writing.
Now, if it does not need an answer, such as a person wrote you a letter informing you of news that does not need an answer, then when you read the letter, say, “Alaykum as-salam wa rahmatullah wa barakatuh.” I do not say this is obligatory, because your companion will not hear it, but it is on the basis of recommendation. A man prayed for you in your absence, so you pray for him in his absence. And here ends the discussion on the greeting. And if Allah wills, in the next meeting, we will complete the exegesis of what was facilitated from Surat al-Dhariyat.
The student : Shaykh, may Allah reward you.

The Shaykh : Give to others, because you are the people of the country and the guests are more entitled.
The student: ...

The Shaykh : What contradicts, what contradicts.