My husband does not provide for me or my children, does not clothe me, and does not take me to my family, and I have been with him for five years. What is the ruling on this?
Machine translationRead the Arabic original
The questioner : My husband does not provide for me or my children from his wealth, does not clothe me, and does not take me to my family, even though I have been with him for approximately five years. What is the ruling on this? Please advise us, may Allah reward you.
The Shaykh : It is obligatory for the two spouses to treat each other with kindness, as Allah Blessed and Exalted is He said: and He said: [Al-Baqarah 2:228].
It is not permissible for either spouse to deny the other their rights, nor to grant them reluctantly, with delay and reluctance, for that is a failure in what is obligatory upon them. Therefore, the husband must provide for his wife with kindness, and the wife must attend to her husband's needs with kindness. The husband must also provide for his children with kindness. If he refuses to provide the obligatory maintenance, the wife is permitted to take from his wealth without his knowledge to provide for herself and her children, just as Hind bint 'Utbah sought a ruling from the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him and his family). She said: "Abu Sufyan is a stingy man, and he does not give me what is sufficient for me and my child with kindness." He said:Sahih Muslim 1714a This is the hadith or its meaning.
The questioner : May Allah bless you.
The Shaykh : It is obligatory for the two spouses to treat each other with kindness, as Allah Blessed and Exalted is He said:
And live with them in kindness
وَعَاشِرُوهُنَّ بِالْمَعْرُوفِAnd due to the wives is similar to what is expected of them, according to what is reasonable
وَلَهُنَّ مِثْلُ الَّذِي عَلَيْهِنَّ بِالْمَعْرُوفِIt is not permissible for either spouse to deny the other their rights, nor to grant them reluctantly, with delay and reluctance, for that is a failure in what is obligatory upon them. Therefore, the husband must provide for his wife with kindness, and the wife must attend to her husband's needs with kindness. The husband must also provide for his children with kindness. If he refuses to provide the obligatory maintenance, the wife is permitted to take from his wealth without his knowledge to provide for herself and her children, just as Hind bint 'Utbah sought a ruling from the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him and his family). She said: "Abu Sufyan is a stingy man, and he does not give me what is sufficient for me and my child with kindness." He said:
what is customary which may suffice you and your children
خذي ما يكفيك ويكفي بنيكThe questioner : May Allah bless you.