My sister married a man who is very stingy and hard-hearted, and he does not provide enough for her and their children, even though his salary is moderate, and they are always in conflict.
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The questioner : My sister married a man who is very stingy and hard-hearted, and she bore three daughters from him, who are still young in age. His monthly salary is not bad, but he sends his wife a very small amount that does not meet her essential needs or the needs of the three daughters, and we do not know why. He is always in conflict with her because of his extreme stinginess, his dry and harsh treatment, and his failure to spend on them as any head of a household would. The question, O honorable...The Shaykh : Is it permissible for me to give my sister from my zakah? Knowing that my husband agrees and I am an employee. If the answer is no, is it permissible to give her from my husband's zakah? Knowing that my sister is proud and if she knew that the money sent to her was from zakah, she would refuse it. So what is the solution in your view?
The Shaykh : The answer to this question requires two things:
The first is advice to this stingy husband who does not fulfill the obligation of maintenance. I say to him: Fear Allah in yourself and do not be stingy with what Allah has given you from His bounty. For stinginess with what is obligatory is feared to bring punishment upon its doer. And if he is stingy, his stinginess will not benefit him, because if he hoards wealth for the sake of this despicable character, the wealth will be inherited by others after him whether he wills it or not. So why does he be stingy with himself?
If he is stingy with his wealth now, he is actually being stingy with himself, because this wealth must inevitably pass to others after his death.
As for the second thing, I say to the woman whose husband is stingy with her regarding the obligatory maintenance: She is allowed to take from his wealth, even without his knowledge, the amount that suffices her and her children. This is because the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) permitted Hind bint 'Utbah to take from her husband's wealth what sufficed her and her children in a proper manner, when she mentioned that he was miserly and did not give her maintenance.
So if this woman is able to take from her husband's wealth what suffices her and her children, let her do so. If she is not able to do any of that and becomes in need, then it is permissible for her to be given from zakah. There is no blame on her sister if she gives her from her own zakah or gives her from her husband's zakah with his permission.
But in the question there is what necessitates a difficulty, where she said: Her sister is proud and if she knew it was zakah, she would not accept it. So we say in this case: She must be informed that it is zakah. If she accepts it, fine; otherwise, she is not given it. Because it is not possible to enter into a person's ownership what he does not want. Giving her zakah means that the zakah enters her ownership. So if she does not want it, it is not valid to enter it into her ownership from this zakah except what she has consented to.
And the same is said for every poor person you know whom you give from your zakah. If you know that he does not accept zakah, it does not suffice you until you inform him and he accepts it as zakah. But if you know that he is poor and you do not know whether he will accept it or not, there is no harm in giving it to him without informing him that it is zakah.
The questioner : May Allah bless you, O honorable Shaykh, and may Allah thank you for your generosity.
The Shaykh : The answer to this question requires two things:
The first is advice to this stingy husband who does not fulfill the obligation of maintenance. I say to him: Fear Allah in yourself and do not be stingy with what Allah has given you from His bounty. For stinginess with what is obligatory is feared to bring punishment upon its doer. And if he is stingy, his stinginess will not benefit him, because if he hoards wealth for the sake of this despicable character, the wealth will be inherited by others after him whether he wills it or not. So why does he be stingy with himself?
If he is stingy with his wealth now, he is actually being stingy with himself, because this wealth must inevitably pass to others after his death.
As for the second thing, I say to the woman whose husband is stingy with her regarding the obligatory maintenance: She is allowed to take from his wealth, even without his knowledge, the amount that suffices her and her children. This is because the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) permitted Hind bint 'Utbah to take from her husband's wealth what sufficed her and her children in a proper manner, when she mentioned that he was miserly and did not give her maintenance.
So if this woman is able to take from her husband's wealth what suffices her and her children, let her do so. If she is not able to do any of that and becomes in need, then it is permissible for her to be given from zakah. There is no blame on her sister if she gives her from her own zakah or gives her from her husband's zakah with his permission.
But in the question there is what necessitates a difficulty, where she said: Her sister is proud and if she knew it was zakah, she would not accept it. So we say in this case: She must be informed that it is zakah. If she accepts it, fine; otherwise, she is not given it. Because it is not possible to enter into a person's ownership what he does not want. Giving her zakah means that the zakah enters her ownership. So if she does not want it, it is not valid to enter it into her ownership from this zakah except what she has consented to.
And the same is said for every poor person you know whom you give from your zakah. If you know that he does not accept zakah, it does not suffice you until you inform him and he accepts it as zakah. But if you know that he is poor and you do not know whether he will accept it or not, there is no harm in giving it to him without informing him that it is zakah.
The questioner : May Allah bless you, O honorable Shaykh, and may Allah thank you for your generosity.