What are the limits of seeking permission from one's parents?
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The questioner : Noble Shaykh, what are the limits of seeking permission from one's parents?
The Shaykh : Yes, the parents, the mother and the father, dutifulness to them is obligatory, and undutifulness to them is among the major sins, as in the hadith of Abu Bakrah (may Allah be pleased with him), that the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said:Sahih al-Bukhari 5976, but not everything requires seeking the parents' permission. If a person wants to perform an obligatory prayer, he does not seek his parents' permission; rather, if they said, for example, "Do not pray in congregation," he must disobey them, by the saying of Allah the Exalted: [Luqman 31:15], and by the saying of the Messenger (peace and blessings be upon him): Mishkat al-Masabih 3696.
It is also not obligatory to seek their permission for voluntary prayer, unless they have work to do and they need you. In that case, seek their permission, because if they need you, attending to their needs is part of dutifulness, and dutifulness is obligatory, while voluntary prayer is a voluntary act, and in that case you seek their permission.
As for if they do not need you and there is no harm to them in the acts of obedience you perform, there is no need to seek permission. Yes.
The Shaykh : Yes, the parents, the mother and the father, dutifulness to them is obligatory, and undutifulness to them is among the major sins, as in the hadith of Abu Bakrah (may Allah be pleased with him), that the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said:
"Shall I not inform you of the biggest of the great sins?" We said, "Yes, O Allah's Messenger (ﷺ)" He said, "To join partners in worship with Allah: to be undutiful to one's parents." The Prophet (ﷺ) sat up after he had been reclining and added, "And I warn you against giving forged statement and a false witness; I warn you against giving a forged
ألا أنبئكم بأكبر الكبائر، قالوا : بلى يا رسول الله، قال : الإشراك بالله، وعقوق الوالدين، وكان متكئا فجلس فقال: ألا وقول الزور ألا وشهادة الزورBut if they endeavor to make you associate with Me that of which you have no knowledge, do not obey them
وَإِنْ جَاهَدَاكَ عَلَى أَنْ تُشْرِكَ بِي مَا لَيْسَ لَكَ بِهِ عِلْمٌ فَلا تُطِعْهُمَاA creature is not to be obeyed when it involves disobedience to the "Creator.”
لا طاعة لمخلوق في معصية الخالقIt is also not obligatory to seek their permission for voluntary prayer, unless they have work to do and they need you. In that case, seek their permission, because if they need you, attending to their needs is part of dutifulness, and dutifulness is obligatory, while voluntary prayer is a voluntary act, and in that case you seek their permission.
As for if they do not need you and there is no harm to them in the acts of obedience you perform, there is no need to seek permission. Yes.