He says: I inform you that I am from one of the tribes of Banu 'Amr, and I inform you that my tribe has adopted a law regarding the mahr.
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The questioner : He says: I inform you that I am from one of the tribes of Banu 'Amr, and I inform you that my tribe has adopted a law regarding the mahr, because it has become so high that some people are marrying off their daughters for fifty thousand or more. I do not know if this is knowledge or ignorance. As I said, my tribe decided that the mahr should be fifteen thousand among themselves. One of the men of my tribe came to ask a man of the tribe to marry him his daughter, but unfortunately he refused, saying that he would not marry his daughter to someone from the tribe because of the low mahr among them, and that he wants fifty thousand or more. I ask your Excellency to clarify the ruling on this and to guide him, perhaps he will listen to you and follow the Sunnah of Allah and His Messenger, and be satisfied with what is sufficient without selling his daughter and humiliating her. Please inform us about this, and may Allah protect you and guide you.
The Shaykh : There is no doubt that reducing the mahr and making it easy is better, more preferable, and has greater blessing. For the women with the greatest blessing are those whose mahr is the least burdensome. The agreement reached by this tribe that the mahr should be fifteen thousand riyals is a good agreement, and they are to be praised for it. They should fulfill it because it is in accordance with the Shari'ah, as it is prescribed in the mahr to reduce it. Also, none of them should deviate from this agreement, for that exposes him to criticism and disparagement, and it may lead to enmity between him and his tribe.
The questioner : Yes.
The Shaykh : This results in harm.
The questioner : Yes.
The Shaykh : As for whether this contract is binding, it does not appear to me that it is binding, because every person has the choice to ask for whatever mahr he wants. However, what must be prevented is for the wali (guardian) of the woman to look only at the money, disregarding religion and character. For that is a betrayal of his trust.
The questioner : Yes.
The Shaykh : It is obligatory for him not to look at the money, but to look at religion and character, as came in the hadith from the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) that he said:Sunan al-Bayhaqi 10:875 or .
And this man saying, "I do not want to marry my daughter to anyone from my tribe because the mahr is small; I want to marry her to a man outside the tribe so that he gives me a large mahr," we say this shows that he is a materialistic man who wants nothing but money. If he had made other excuses, perhaps we would have found a justification for him.
The questioner : Yes.
The Shaykh : But since he is only making this excuse, we see that he is in error, and that he must reconsider what he is aiming for, and that his aim should be what makes the marital affairs sound, disregarding the money.
The questioner : Yes.
The Shaykh : Yes.
The questioner : This is a message from Umm Mu'adh from Jordan, and in fact the message is very long, and I tried to summarize it in the following lines.
The Shaykh : There is no doubt that reducing the mahr and making it easy is better, more preferable, and has greater blessing. For the women with the greatest blessing are those whose mahr is the least burdensome. The agreement reached by this tribe that the mahr should be fifteen thousand riyals is a good agreement, and they are to be praised for it. They should fulfill it because it is in accordance with the Shari'ah, as it is prescribed in the mahr to reduce it. Also, none of them should deviate from this agreement, for that exposes him to criticism and disparagement, and it may lead to enmity between him and his tribe.
The questioner : Yes.
The Shaykh : This results in harm.
The questioner : Yes.
The Shaykh : As for whether this contract is binding, it does not appear to me that it is binding, because every person has the choice to ask for whatever mahr he wants. However, what must be prevented is for the wali (guardian) of the woman to look only at the money, disregarding religion and character. For that is a betrayal of his trust.
The questioner : Yes.
The Shaykh : It is obligatory for him not to look at the money, but to look at religion and character, as came in the hadith from the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) that he said:
When there comes to you one of whose religion and character you are pleased, then marry her to him. If you do not do so, there will be a fitnah on the earth and great corruption.
إذا أتاكم من ترضون دينه وخلقه فأنكحوه إلا تفعلوه تكن فتنة في الأرض وفساد كبيرand great corruption
وفساد عريضAnd this man saying, "I do not want to marry my daughter to anyone from my tribe because the mahr is small; I want to marry her to a man outside the tribe so that he gives me a large mahr," we say this shows that he is a materialistic man who wants nothing but money. If he had made other excuses, perhaps we would have found a justification for him.
The questioner : Yes.
The Shaykh : But since he is only making this excuse, we see that he is in error, and that he must reconsider what he is aiming for, and that his aim should be what makes the marital affairs sound, disregarding the money.
The questioner : Yes.
The Shaykh : Yes.
The questioner : This is a message from Umm Mu'adh from Jordan, and in fact the message is very long, and I tried to summarize it in the following lines.