Benefits of the Hadith of Abu Sufyan’s Wife.

The Shaykh : Among the benefits is the clarification that hearts are in the hand of Allah (Mighty and Majestic). It has passed a day when there was no household on the face of the earth that she loved more to see humiliated than the household of the Messenger (peace and blessings be upon him), meaning she loved for Allah to bring humiliation to the family of the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him). Then, after faith, the matter was the opposite. This is similar to what happened to 'Amr ibn al-'As (may Allah be pleased with him) before he embraced Islam; he loved to gain power over the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) to eliminate him. He loved to gain power over him. But when he embraced Islam, he did not raise his eyes to him out of respect for him and shyness before him. Glory be to the Turner of hearts. In this is evidence that hearts are in the hand of Allah (Glorified and Exalted is He). We ask Allah to keep our hearts and your hearts firm upon His obedience. Among the jurisprudential benefits is the permissibility of mentioning a man with what he dislikes if necessity calls for it, due to her saying that he is a miser, meaning he holds onto his wealth stingily and does not spend. In it is also evidence that it is permissible for one upon whom financial maintenance is obligatory for a person to take from his wealth, without his knowledge, what suffices him, but in a good manner. Among the social benefits is that a man may be noble in his tribe despite being stingy. When the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) asked the Banu, I think they were Banu 'Abd Qays, "Who is your chief?" They said, "Our chief is al-Jadd ibn Qays, except that we consider him stingy." He said: So stinginess is a great defect in men, and yet a man may be a chief in his tribe even if he is stingy, like Abu Sufyan. Among its benefits is that the mother has a type of guardianship over her children even in the presence of their father, because the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) delegated to her the authority to take from their father's wealth what suffices her and suffices her children. Yes, good. And in it is also evidence for addressing a person with what he dislikes if it is followed by what pleases him. From where is it taken?

The questioner : ...

The Shaykh : Yes, correct, and there is nothing wrong with this, because good deeds erase bad deeds. But if you say, "I am the opposite; I used to love your honor, but now I love your humiliation," this is not permissible. One must not address his brother with what he dislikes and what causes enmity and hatred, except for a legitimate religious reason. For example, if he was upright upon the Sunnah and then deviated to religious innovation, you could say to him, "I used to love you, respect you, honor you, and hold you in high esteem yesterday, but today you have no share of that." Yes.