One: I married my uncle, my father's brother, and he demanded a large mahr from me, and they placed a nisab of gold jewelry for the wife. I have paid the entire mahr and some of the gold, and all that remains is some of the gold.
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The questioner : One: I married my uncle, my father's brother, and he demanded a large mahr from me, and they placed gold jewelry for the wife. I have paid the entire mahr and some of the gold, and all that remains is some of the gold. My wife asked my uncle for her, but he refused unless I paid the full nisab. At the same time, I am unable to pay, so I asked him for a delay until I could pay it. My uncle said, "I cannot give you your wife until you pay her what is due." After that, I decided to be absent for a year and a half to collect the value of that gold, knowing that I am employed far away from them. I heard in a previous talk on the program *Nur 'ala al-Darb* that keeping a woman under restriction (hajar) is forbidden for more than six months. Is the sin in this matter on me, or is the sin on the girl's father? Please inform us about this. May Allah reward you for us with good?
The Shaykh : We see that we should not address this question because, as long as a third party is involved, we do not like to get involved. As for the mahr, since it is immediate and no delay was mentioned for some of the jewelry, it is obligatory for you to deliver it. The scholars have stated that a woman has the right to withhold herself until she receives her immediate mahr. If that is her right, then she is not sinful if she withholds herself until she is given the full mahr. As for you, you are excused for this absence because, in reality, you want to bring what is required of you for your wife, which you cannot obtain while residing away from her. However, with the answer we have given, if there is no agreement, the reference is to the Shari'ah court.
The questioner : Yes, but regarding this stance of the girl's father toward his nephew?
The Shaykh : This stance is, in reality, not befitting, as long as the man married his nephew because of the qualities that led him to marry his daughter to him. It is not befitting that money should be an obstacle preventing him from his wife. There is no doubt that the uncle—and I say this hoping he will listen to it—there is no doubt that if he left the matter as it is and allowed the husband to enter with his wife, it would be better for everyone. Then I also say to the uncle a statement he must be cautious about, which is that the mahr is the right of the wife. So if the wife in this situation waived what is due to her husband from the remainder of the mahr, the father would have no right to prevent her from her husband. Indeed, if she waived the entire mahr and she is one whose gift is valid, her father would have no choice in that matter.
The questioner : Yes.
The Shaykh : So the matter is up to her. For this reason, Allah the Exalted says:[An-Nisa 4:4] meaning their mahr, so He attributed the mahr to them and not to others. [An-Nisa 4:4] So He also made the generous spirit refer to the wife. Therefore, the father has no right to prevent his daughter's husband from entering with her because of the mahr, unless the wife herself said so, for the right is hers. Yes.
The questioner : His other question, the question of the brother from Ras Tanura.
The Shaykh : We see that we should not address this question because, as long as a third party is involved, we do not like to get involved. As for the mahr, since it is immediate and no delay was mentioned for some of the jewelry, it is obligatory for you to deliver it. The scholars have stated that a woman has the right to withhold herself until she receives her immediate mahr. If that is her right, then she is not sinful if she withholds herself until she is given the full mahr. As for you, you are excused for this absence because, in reality, you want to bring what is required of you for your wife, which you cannot obtain while residing away from her. However, with the answer we have given, if there is no agreement, the reference is to the Shari'ah court.
The questioner : Yes, but regarding this stance of the girl's father toward his nephew?
The Shaykh : This stance is, in reality, not befitting, as long as the man married his nephew because of the qualities that led him to marry his daughter to him. It is not befitting that money should be an obstacle preventing him from his wife. There is no doubt that the uncle—and I say this hoping he will listen to it—there is no doubt that if he left the matter as it is and allowed the husband to enter with his wife, it would be better for everyone. Then I also say to the uncle a statement he must be cautious about, which is that the mahr is the right of the wife. So if the wife in this situation waived what is due to her husband from the remainder of the mahr, the father would have no right to prevent her from her husband. Indeed, if she waived the entire mahr and she is one whose gift is valid, her father would have no choice in that matter.
The questioner : Yes.
The Shaykh : So the matter is up to her. For this reason, Allah the Exalted says:
And give the women [upon marriage] their [bridal] gifts graciously
وَءاتُوا النِّسَاءَ صَدُقَاتِهِنَّ نِحْلَةًBut if they give up willingly to you anything of it, then take it in satisfaction and ease.
فَإِنْ طِبْنَ لَكُمْ عَنْ شَيْءٍ مِنْهُ نَفْسًا فَكُلُوهُ هَنِيئًا مَرِيئًاThe questioner : His other question, the question of the brother from Ras Tanura.