A girl whose father passed away recently, and many people have advised her not to cry over her father; does my crying over my father harm him, knowing that at times I cannot prevent myself from crying, especially when I see his clothes and belongings and remember how he supported us?
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The questioner : A girl whose father passed away recently, and many people have advised her not to cry over her father; does my crying over my father harm him, knowing that at times I cannot prevent myself from crying, especially when I see his clothes and belongings and remember how he supported us? Guide us, may Allah reward you.
The Shaykh : Praise be to Allah, Lord of the worlds, and I send prayers and peace upon our Prophet Muhammad, and upon his family and his Companions, and upon those who follow them with excellence until the Day of Judgment:
There is no blame on her for crying over her father, because this is a natural disposition and a person cannot suppress it, especially when a person remembers his loss or sees something of its effects, such as books, clothes, gatherings, or the like.
However, what a person should do is hold fast to Allah (Blessed and Exalted is He) and be patient, and not frequently mention his loss of the deceased, because the more he remembers it, the more the sadness renews itself, and a person is commanded to drive away sorrows from himself and to bring joy into his heart as much as possible.
As for the person who seeks to bring on crying, that is what is forbidden, especially if it is accompanied by wailing or lamentation. Wailing is when one makes a crying sound like the cooing of pigeons, and lamentation is when one laments the deceased by saying, "O my father, O the one who brings us such and such, and brings to the house such and such," and the like.
And on this occasion, I would like to remind my Muslim brothers of something that may occur, though it is rare, praise be to Allah. In some newspapers, you find a writer writing about a friend of his who has died, addressing him and saying:
"O so-and-so, O the one we find comfort with in our gatherings, O the one we go out with in the morning and evening, O the one who consoles us with his pleasant stories," and the like.
This is of the lamentation that is forbidden. A person should not stir up sorrows in himself, nor in others either.
The Shaykh : Praise be to Allah, Lord of the worlds, and I send prayers and peace upon our Prophet Muhammad, and upon his family and his Companions, and upon those who follow them with excellence until the Day of Judgment:
There is no blame on her for crying over her father, because this is a natural disposition and a person cannot suppress it, especially when a person remembers his loss or sees something of its effects, such as books, clothes, gatherings, or the like.
However, what a person should do is hold fast to Allah (Blessed and Exalted is He) and be patient, and not frequently mention his loss of the deceased, because the more he remembers it, the more the sadness renews itself, and a person is commanded to drive away sorrows from himself and to bring joy into his heart as much as possible.
As for the person who seeks to bring on crying, that is what is forbidden, especially if it is accompanied by wailing or lamentation. Wailing is when one makes a crying sound like the cooing of pigeons, and lamentation is when one laments the deceased by saying, "O my father, O the one who brings us such and such, and brings to the house such and such," and the like.
And on this occasion, I would like to remind my Muslim brothers of something that may occur, though it is rare, praise be to Allah. In some newspapers, you find a writer writing about a friend of his who has died, addressing him and saying:
"O so-and-so, O the one we find comfort with in our gatherings, O the one we go out with in the morning and evening, O the one who consoles us with his pleasant stories," and the like.
This is of the lamentation that is forbidden. A person should not stir up sorrows in himself, nor in others either.