Is the person who raises his voice at his parents during intense anger, then regrets that action intensely after the anger subsides, considered to have been undutiful to his parents?
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The questioner : Is the person who raises his voice at his parents during intense anger, then regrets that action intensely after the anger subsides, considered to have been undutiful to his parents?
The Shaykh : If a person cannot control himself when angry and raises his voice at his father and mother, he is not held accountable for this. However, once the anger subsides, he must seek forgiveness from his parents, and his parents should appreciate this state and forgive him, especially if he comes to them apologizing.
But I advise this person and others like him among those hot-tempered people to treat themselves with what the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) described, which is:
First: that they do not get angry, meaning they should try to prevent anger so that they cool down, because the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said to a man: "O Messenger of Allah, advise me." He said: He repeated it several times, saying: Based on the action of the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him), this man was angry, otherwise he would have advised him to fear Allah (Mighty and Majestic), which Allah has advised the first and the last. This is the first point: prevent anger in the first place, try not to get angry, and be of a gentle disposition.
Second: If he gets angry, let him seek refuge in Allah from the accursed Shaytan, for the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) saw an angry man and said:Sahih al-Bukhari 6115 This is because anger is an ember that Shaytan throws into the heart of a person, so his neck veins swell, his eyes redden, and he boils over. This is the second point: seek refuge in Allah from the accursed Shaytan.
Third: If he is standing, let him sit, and if he is sitting, let him lie down, because by changing his state, the anger will cool down.
Fourth: He should perform wudu, the wudu for prayer, the usual wudu, meaning he washes his face, rinses his mouth, sniffs water into his nose, washes his hands to the elbows, and so on, and by this he is safe from anger.
The Shaykh : If a person cannot control himself when angry and raises his voice at his father and mother, he is not held accountable for this. However, once the anger subsides, he must seek forgiveness from his parents, and his parents should appreciate this state and forgive him, especially if he comes to them apologizing.
But I advise this person and others like him among those hot-tempered people to treat themselves with what the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) described, which is:
First: that they do not get angry, meaning they should try to prevent anger so that they cool down, because the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said to a man: "O Messenger of Allah, advise me." He said:
Do not get angry
لا تغضبDo not get angry
لا تغضبSecond: If he gets angry, let him seek refuge in Allah from the accursed Shaytan, for the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) saw an angry man and said:
I know a word (sentence) the saying of which will cause him to relax if this man says it. Only if he said, "I seek refuge with Allah from Satan, the outcast.'
إني لأعلم كلمة لو قالها لذهب عنه ما يجد لو قال أعوذ بالله من الشيطان الرجيمThird: If he is standing, let him sit, and if he is sitting, let him lie down, because by changing his state, the anger will cool down.
Fourth: He should perform wudu, the wudu for prayer, the usual wudu, meaning he washes his face, rinses his mouth, sniffs water into his nose, washes his hands to the elbows, and so on, and by this he is safe from anger.