If a woman chooses a man who is not a suitable match, is she to be prevented?
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The questioner : Shaykh, may Allah bless you, allow me, but Shaykh, may Allah bless you, may we discuss this topic with you?
The Shaykh : Yes.
The questioner : I mean, regarding what you cited as an example in terms of looking and reasoning, without texts, that a woman is not to be forced. In some countries, Shaykh, if a man, for example, is not upright in his religion, and his children are certainly [upright], and then he repents to Allah the Exalted and returns, his daughters may not return and may continue on the path they were on. So if a suitable, righteous, worshipping Muslim man proposes to them, they do not accept him, considering that they are not on the same...
The Shaykh : ...as their method.
The questioner : So they want the open sinner, the wicked one, yes. So, Shaykh, may Allah bless you, is it also far from correct reasoning for us to say we do not force her to marry a just, suitable match, and we accept her statement regarding someone other than this, meaning other than the upright man, because she will not continue?
The Shaykh : The reason for your objection is ignorance of one of the two parties. If she chooses someone who is not a suitable match, we have the right to prevent her. Her guardian has the right to prevent her from [marrying] someone who is not a suitable match, but he does not have the right to force her to marry a suitable match.
The questioner : And she remains without a husband.
The Shaykh : She remains without a husband; that is what she did.
The questioner : This is not required by the Shari'ah, is it not, Shaykh?
The Shaykh : No, it is not required, but what is required by the Shari'ah is that she marries a suitable match. It is said to her: You are not [allowed to do this]. If you choose someone who is not a suitable match, we do not accept it.
The questioner : Shaykh, and His saying is it not only for women...
The Shaykh : ...who have been divorced? This is general. In any case, the objection will be resolved if we say that if she chooses someone who is not a suitable match, her guardian has the right to prevent her, and indeed it is obligatory for him to prevent her, especially if he is not a suitable match in religion, yes.
The Shaykh : Yes.
The questioner : I mean, regarding what you cited as an example in terms of looking and reasoning, without texts, that a woman is not to be forced. In some countries, Shaykh, if a man, for example, is not upright in his religion, and his children are certainly [upright], and then he repents to Allah the Exalted and returns, his daughters may not return and may continue on the path they were on. So if a suitable, righteous, worshipping Muslim man proposes to them, they do not accept him, considering that they are not on the same...
The Shaykh : ...as their method.
The questioner : So they want the open sinner, the wicked one, yes. So, Shaykh, may Allah bless you, is it also far from correct reasoning for us to say we do not force her to marry a just, suitable match, and we accept her statement regarding someone other than this, meaning other than the upright man, because she will not continue?
The Shaykh : The reason for your objection is ignorance of one of the two parties. If she chooses someone who is not a suitable match, we have the right to prevent her. Her guardian has the right to prevent her from [marrying] someone who is not a suitable match, but he does not have the right to force her to marry a suitable match.
The questioner : And she remains without a husband.
The Shaykh : She remains without a husband; that is what she did.
The questioner : This is not required by the Shari'ah, is it not, Shaykh?
The Shaykh : No, it is not required, but what is required by the Shari'ah is that she marries a suitable match. It is said to her: You are not [allowed to do this]. If you choose someone who is not a suitable match, we do not accept it.
The questioner : Shaykh, and His saying
So do not force them
فلا تعضولوهنThe Shaykh : ...who have been divorced? This is general. In any case, the objection will be resolved if we say that if she chooses someone who is not a suitable match, her guardian has the right to prevent her, and indeed it is obligatory for him to prevent her, especially if he is not a suitable match in religion, yes.