The Ruling on a Daughter Refusing to Marry a Suitable Suitor
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Question:
If my daughter refuses to marry a suitable suitor, and her excuse for this is that he is not one of her relatives, and I first looked for a suitor among her relatives but did not find one, what should I do?
Answer:
If the daughter refuses to marry the suitor because he is not one of her relatives, or because he is poor, or for other reasons, he has no right to force her. The need is hers, not his. So if she is not pleased, he should advise her, give her counsel, and tell her mother and female relatives to advise her and recommend the marriage to her, and he should strive in this. As for forcing her, it is not permissible. The need is hers.
But if he sees that the husband is worthy of being married, he should explain her situation to him, and show her his virtues, and that money is an easy matter, that it will come, and that he will fulfill the obligation—if Allah wills—and he should say to her: I will help him with whatever is lacking for you, and the like of that. He should advise her mother and her female relatives to advise her and speak with her about it. If she is pleased and agrees, praise be to Allah. Otherwise, it is not permissible for him to force her.
The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said:Sunan Ibn Majah 1871Sahih (Darussalam) They said: O Messenger of Allah, she is shy? He said: If she refuses and says: No, do not marry me, they should leave her. But if she is silent, he may marry her.
If my daughter refuses to marry a suitable suitor, and her excuse for this is that he is not one of her relatives, and I first looked for a suitor among her relatives but did not find one, what should I do?
Answer:
If the daughter refuses to marry the suitor because he is not one of her relatives, or because he is poor, or for other reasons, he has no right to force her. The need is hers, not his. So if she is not pleased, he should advise her, give her counsel, and tell her mother and female relatives to advise her and recommend the marriage to her, and he should strive in this. As for forcing her, it is not permissible. The need is hers.
But if he sees that the husband is worthy of being married, he should explain her situation to him, and show her his virtues, and that money is an easy matter, that it will come, and that he will fulfill the obligation—if Allah wills—and he should say to her: I will help him with whatever is lacking for you, and the like of that. He should advise her mother and her female relatives to advise her and speak with her about it. If she is pleased and agrees, praise be to Allah. Otherwise, it is not permissible for him to force her.
The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said:
A previously-married woman should not be married until she is consulted, and a virgin should not be married until her consent is sought
لا تزوج الأيم حتى تستأمر، ولا البكر حتى تستأذنHer permission is her silence
إذنها سكوتها
Source
binbaz.org.sa
The Arabic text is copied verbatim from the original source, without any edits.