The discussion regarding the condition of the consent of both spouses in the marriage contract.
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The Shaykh : In the name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful. Praise be to Allah, Lord of the worlds, and may Allah send prayers and blessings upon our Prophet Muhammad, and upon his family and all his Companions.
We have previously established that one of the conditions of the marriage contract is consent. Consent of whom? The husband and the wife. And there is no compulsion for the husband nor for the wife. So if a questioner asked us: A man was compelled by his father to marry his cousin, as happens in some of the desert areas, and he married under compulsion, what is the ruling? The marriage is not valid. And someone might say: There is no compulsion for the husband in reality, the husband is not compelled, because if the guardian says to him, "I have married you to my daughter," he says, "No," and he does not accept. Does the marriage contract become valid?
The questioner : Yes, indeed.
The Shaykh : What? It does not become valid. So if someone said: The compulsion of the husband in marriage is not conceivable, because it is possible that if he is told, "I have married you to her," he says, "No, no acceptance." We say: But perhaps he is threatened. Perhaps his father says to him, "If you do not accept, you will not marry," or he says, "If you do not accept, I will kill you or imprison you, or something similar." So in that case, the acceptance is what? It is under compulsion, so the marriage contract does not become valid. Therefore, the consent of both spouses is necessary. The exception to this is the adult who is of unsound mind. Why?
The questioner : He has no choice.
The Shaykh : Because he has no choice. All right, and by what do we know that this adult desires marriage, because perhaps he is of unsound mind and we do not know about him? Hamad?
The questioner : Wet dreams.
The Shaykh : What does it have to do with me, meaning his wet dreams? And a person may have wet dreams and not desire marriage.
The questioner : ... .
The Shaykh : One who is of unsound mind.
The questioner : One who is of unsound mind is not married off.
The Shaykh : No, he must be married off.
The questioner : He does not know...
The Shaykh : No... If you place a woman in front of him, it becomes apparent... He is not a man who is of unsound mind. You see, the questions are not recorded, yes?
The questioner : If it becomes apparent.
The Shaykh : We know their desire for marriage, unless they are pursuing women and we see that when they see a beautiful woman, their souls are excited for it and they pursue her. Then we know that they desire marriage, so in that case we marry them, and their consent is not considered because they do not have reason. All right, the second thing: What is required and what is not required regarding consent? Adam?
The questioner : Yes?
The Shaykh : The second category of those for whom consent is not required in marriage.
The questioner : The young girl, according to the school of thought. The young girl.
The Shaykh : The virgin?
The questioner : Yes, indeed.
The Shaykh : The virgin, even if she is of age, even if she is an adult, according to the school of thought?
The questioner : Yes, indeed.
The Shaykh : The virgin, even if she is of age. All right, what is the evidence? And does every guardian marry her off?
The questioner : No, her father.
The Shaykh : Her father only. The virgin, even if she is of age, with regard to her father. All right, is there evidence?
The questioner : ... .
The Shaykh : What? What is it?
The questioner : Evidence of Abu Bakr marrying A'ishah, meaning to the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him).
The Shaykh : Regarding Abu Bakr marrying the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him) to A'ishah. All right, well done. He married her while she was a virgin, yes, and he did not seek her permission. All right, if someone said to you: This is from the special characteristics of the Messenger (peace and blessings be upon him), because we have a general wording that saysJami` at-Tirmidhi 1107Sahih (Darussalam) and in "Sahih Muslim" .
The questioner : And on this basis, because if we look at the hadith now, seeking permission is necessary.
The Shaykh : All right, how do you refute the evidence of the school of thought?
The questioner : The evidence of the school of thought is the action of Abu Bakr and what was known by many.
The Shaykh : His action and what was with it?
The questioner : Yes.
The Shaykh : How did Abu Bakr act and what was with it?
The questioner : Abu Bakr married her off without her permission.
The Shaykh : Yes, he married her off without her permission. How do you answer this?
The questioner : We say to them: Bring us a husband like the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him), and a guardian like Abu Bakr, and a wife like A'ishah.
The Shaykh : Well done. We say: We either start with the special characteristic and say that the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him) has characteristics in marriage that no one else has.
We have previously established that one of the conditions of the marriage contract is consent. Consent of whom? The husband and the wife. And there is no compulsion for the husband nor for the wife. So if a questioner asked us: A man was compelled by his father to marry his cousin, as happens in some of the desert areas, and he married under compulsion, what is the ruling? The marriage is not valid. And someone might say: There is no compulsion for the husband in reality, the husband is not compelled, because if the guardian says to him, "I have married you to my daughter," he says, "No," and he does not accept. Does the marriage contract become valid?
The questioner : Yes, indeed.
The Shaykh : What? It does not become valid. So if someone said: The compulsion of the husband in marriage is not conceivable, because it is possible that if he is told, "I have married you to her," he says, "No, no acceptance." We say: But perhaps he is threatened. Perhaps his father says to him, "If you do not accept, you will not marry," or he says, "If you do not accept, I will kill you or imprison you, or something similar." So in that case, the acceptance is what? It is under compulsion, so the marriage contract does not become valid. Therefore, the consent of both spouses is necessary. The exception to this is the adult who is of unsound mind. Why?
The questioner : He has no choice.
The Shaykh : Because he has no choice. All right, and by what do we know that this adult desires marriage, because perhaps he is of unsound mind and we do not know about him? Hamad?
The questioner : Wet dreams.
The Shaykh : What does it have to do with me, meaning his wet dreams? And a person may have wet dreams and not desire marriage.
The questioner : ... .
The Shaykh : One who is of unsound mind.
The questioner : One who is of unsound mind is not married off.
The Shaykh : No, he must be married off.
The questioner : He does not know...
The Shaykh : No... If you place a woman in front of him, it becomes apparent... He is not a man who is of unsound mind. You see, the questions are not recorded, yes?
The questioner : If it becomes apparent.
The Shaykh : We know their desire for marriage, unless they are pursuing women and we see that when they see a beautiful woman, their souls are excited for it and they pursue her. Then we know that they desire marriage, so in that case we marry them, and their consent is not considered because they do not have reason. All right, the second thing: What is required and what is not required regarding consent? Adam?
The questioner : Yes?
The Shaykh : The second category of those for whom consent is not required in marriage.
The questioner : The young girl, according to the school of thought. The young girl.
The Shaykh : The virgin?
The questioner : Yes, indeed.
The Shaykh : The virgin, even if she is of age, even if she is an adult, according to the school of thought?
The questioner : Yes, indeed.
The Shaykh : The virgin, even if she is of age. All right, what is the evidence? And does every guardian marry her off?
The questioner : No, her father.
The Shaykh : Her father only. The virgin, even if she is of age, with regard to her father. All right, is there evidence?
The questioner : ... .
The Shaykh : What? What is it?
The questioner : Evidence of Abu Bakr marrying A'ishah, meaning to the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him).
The Shaykh : Regarding Abu Bakr marrying the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him) to A'ishah. All right, well done. He married her while she was a virgin, yes, and he did not seek her permission. All right, if someone said to you: This is from the special characteristics of the Messenger (peace and blessings be upon him), because we have a general wording that says
a virgin should not be given in marriage until her permission is sought
لا تُنكح البكر حتى تُستأذنAnd the virgin is to be consulted by her father.
والبكر يستأمرها أبوهاThe questioner : And on this basis, because if we look at the hadith now, seeking permission is necessary.
The Shaykh : All right, how do you refute the evidence of the school of thought?
The questioner : The evidence of the school of thought is the action of Abu Bakr and what was known by many.
The Shaykh : His action and what was with it?
The questioner : Yes.
The Shaykh : How did Abu Bakr act and what was with it?
The questioner : Abu Bakr married her off without her permission.
The Shaykh : Yes, he married her off without her permission. How do you answer this?
The questioner : We say to them: Bring us a husband like the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him), and a guardian like Abu Bakr, and a wife like A'ishah.
The Shaykh : Well done. We say: We either start with the special characteristic and say that the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him) has characteristics in marriage that no one else has.