Among the conditions of marriage: the consent of the husband and the wife.
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The Shaykh : However, this marriage must have conditions, and we will mention the most important of them. The most important is the consent of both the husband and the wife. The marriage is not valid except with the consent of both spouses, and it is not valid if one of them is forced. If a man forces his son to marry his cousin’s daughter, who is the daughter of his father’s brother, and says, “You must marry her; if you do not, I will cut you off, or I will imprison you, or I will kill you,” for the situation can reach this point, to killing, and may Allah protect us from that. If the man marries under this coercion, his marriage is not valid. Therefore, it is obligatory for the Muslim to take this reality into account and not force his son to marry his cousin’s daughter. Rather, he should give him the choice: if he wishes, he marries, and if he wishes, he does not marry. Likewise, it is not permissible to force a daughter to marry someone she does not want, even if she is your daughter, even if she is your daughter. It is forbidden for him to force her to marry someone she does not want to marry. If he does so and forces his daughter to marry a man she does not want to marry, the marriage is not valid. He has now empowered this man to commit zina with his daughter, and may Allah protect us from that, because the marriage is not valid. So, forcing his daughter to marry this man means forcing her to be violated by this man without a valid legal basis, and the matter is serious! On the contrary, there are those who prevent their son from marrying a woman. There are those who have arrogance and pride who cannot allow their son to marry someone of lower status than them, whether in lineage, wealth, or what is called “Khudairi” or “Qabaili.” You find the son wants to marry this woman because he is pleased with her beauty, character, and religion, and his father says, “No, do not marry her. Man, do not marry her. She is not from our tribe, she is not from our tribe.” Or he says, “We are Ashraf from the descendants of the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him), and they are not Ashraf, glory be to Allah!” Or he says, “We are Qabaili and they are not Qabaili, they are Khudairi.” Who said this? It is not permissible for a person to prevent his son from marrying a woman he wants, except if she is a disbeliever other than a Jew or a Christian. In that case, he may prevent him, because marriage with disbelievers is forbidden, except for Jews and Christians, for it is permissible for a Muslim to marry their women.
Likewise, there are people who prevent their daughter from being married to a suitable suitor, a suitor who is upright in his religion and character, and the daughter wants him, but he says, “No,” either for personal motives between him and the man, or for psychological motives, or otherwise. He prevents his daughter from being married to the one who proposed to her, who is suitable, and this is forbidden for him, and it is considered a betrayal of trust. The scholars said: “And if that is repeated from him, he becomes an open sinner among the open sinners, and his guardianship is dropped, and the guardianship transfers to the one after him”.
This is the statement of the scholars, may Allah have mercy on them, and their books are before us. That is to say, if a man proposes to a man’s daughter, he proposes to his daughter, and the suitor is suitable in his religion and character, and he refuses, and another like him comes and he refuses, and a third comes and he refuses, we say: Now sit in your prison, you have no guardianship, because you are now an open sinner. Who will marry her? The closest person to her after her father, for example, her brother marries her, or her uncle marries her. But if the relatives refuse to marry her, either out of respect for her father, or out of fear of problems, who will marry her? The judge will marry her. The case is brought to the judge, and the judge marries her against the will of her father, her brother, and her uncle, because the right in marriage belongs to whom? To the woman. The right is hers. This is one of the most important conditions. Consent from whom? From the husband or from the wife? Answer, everyone? From both of them. It is necessary that both the husband and the wife consent. Without consent, it is not valid.
Likewise, there are people who prevent their daughter from being married to a suitable suitor, a suitor who is upright in his religion and character, and the daughter wants him, but he says, “No,” either for personal motives between him and the man, or for psychological motives, or otherwise. He prevents his daughter from being married to the one who proposed to her, who is suitable, and this is forbidden for him, and it is considered a betrayal of trust. The scholars said: “And if that is repeated from him, he becomes an open sinner among the open sinners, and his guardianship is dropped, and the guardianship transfers to the one after him”.
This is the statement of the scholars, may Allah have mercy on them, and their books are before us. That is to say, if a man proposes to a man’s daughter, he proposes to his daughter, and the suitor is suitable in his religion and character, and he refuses, and another like him comes and he refuses, and a third comes and he refuses, we say: Now sit in your prison, you have no guardianship, because you are now an open sinner. Who will marry her? The closest person to her after her father, for example, her brother marries her, or her uncle marries her. But if the relatives refuse to marry her, either out of respect for her father, or out of fear of problems, who will marry her? The judge will marry her. The case is brought to the judge, and the judge marries her against the will of her father, her brother, and her uncle, because the right in marriage belongs to whom? To the woman. The right is hers. This is one of the most important conditions. Consent from whom? From the husband or from the wife? Answer, everyone? From both of them. It is necessary that both the husband and the wife consent. Without consent, it is not valid.