Explanation of the words of Imam al-Nawawi (may Allah have mercy on him) regarding what he quoted: "
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The Shaykh : Then the Messenger conveyed to the daughter of the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) what he was commanded to convey to her, but she sent to him asking him to be present. So he (peace and blessings be upon him) rose, along with a group of his Companions, and he reached her. Sahih Ibn Hibban 6:155: meaning it trembles, rising and falling. The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) wept, and his eyes were filled with tears. Sa'd ibn Ubadah, who was with him, and who was the leader of the Khazraj, meaning the leader of the large tribe of the Ansar, which is the Khazraj, said: : He thought that the Messenger (peace and blessings be upon him) was weeping in distress. What is this? How do you weep? The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said: : meaning I wept out of mercy for the boy, not out of distress at the decree. Then he (peace and blessings be upon him) said: Sahih al-Bukhari 7448: In this is evidence for the permissibility of weeping out of mercy for the bereaved. If you see someone bereaved in their mind or body and you weep out of mercy for them, this is evidence that Allah the Exalted has placed mercy in your heart. And when Allah places mercy in a person's heart, they are among the merciful whom Allah the Mighty and Majestic has mercy upon. We ask Allah to have mercy on us and you with His mercy.
The student: Amen.
The Shaykh : The important point is that in this hadith is evidence for the obligation of patience, because the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said:.
And in it is also evidence that this formula of condolence is the best formula, better than what some people say: "May Allah magnify your reward and improve your consolation and forgive your deceased." This is a formula chosen by some scholars, but the formula chosen by the Messenger (peace and blessings be upon him) is:Sahih al-Bukhari 7377. When the bereaved hears this, they are more convinced.
And condolence is not, in reality, a celebration as some of the common people think. It is not a celebration for which chairs are set up, candles are lit, reciters and food are brought. No, condolence is consolation and strengthening for the bereaved to be patient. For this reason, if someone is not affected by the calamity, for example, if a cousin of his died and he did not care about him, then he is not offered condolences. Condolence is not a celebration as if a child was born to him, in which case we would congratulate him. Condolence is consolation and strengthening for patience. For this reason, the scholars (may Allah have mercy on them) said: "It is recommended to offer condolences to the bereaved, and they did not say it is recommended to offer condolences to the relative", because the relative may not be affected by the death of his relative, while the distant one is affected due to a strong friendship between them, for example. So condolence is for the bereaved, not for the relative. But now, unfortunately, the scales have been turned, and condolence has become for the relative, even if he was happy and beat drums over the death of his relative, he is still offered condolences. Meaning, perhaps some people are poor, and there are many problems between him and his cousin, and his cousin died and he has millions of dirhams. Does he rejoice when his cousin dies in such a situation, or is he bereaved?
Usually he rejoices, saying: "Praise be to Allah who saved me from his problems and made me inherit his wealth." This person is not offered condolences. How can he be offered condolences?! This is a celebration, if we were to say anything.
The important point is that we must know that condolences are only to strengthen the bereaved in patience and to console them. So the best words and those closest to condolence should be chosen for it. And nothing is better than the words formulated by our Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him). And Allah is the One who grants success.
So the boy was brought up to him, and his soul was quivering
فَرُفع إليه الصبي ونفسه تتقعقعWhat is this?
ما هذا ؟This is mercy
هذه رحمةAllah is merciful only to those of His slaves who are merciful (to others).
إنما يرحمُ الله من عباده الرحماءThe student: Amen.
The Shaykh : The important point is that in this hadith is evidence for the obligation of patience, because the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said:
Tell her to be patient and to seek reward from Allah
مُرها فلتصبر ولتحتسبAnd in it is also evidence that this formula of condolence is the best formula, better than what some people say: "May Allah magnify your reward and improve your consolation and forgive your deceased." This is a formula chosen by some scholars, but the formula chosen by the Messenger (peace and blessings be upon him) is:
So order her to be patient and hope for Allah's reward.
اصبر واحتسب ، لله ما أخذ وله ما أعطى وكل شيء عنده بأجل مسمىAnd condolence is not, in reality, a celebration as some of the common people think. It is not a celebration for which chairs are set up, candles are lit, reciters and food are brought. No, condolence is consolation and strengthening for the bereaved to be patient. For this reason, if someone is not affected by the calamity, for example, if a cousin of his died and he did not care about him, then he is not offered condolences. Condolence is not a celebration as if a child was born to him, in which case we would congratulate him. Condolence is consolation and strengthening for patience. For this reason, the scholars (may Allah have mercy on them) said: "It is recommended to offer condolences to the bereaved, and they did not say it is recommended to offer condolences to the relative", because the relative may not be affected by the death of his relative, while the distant one is affected due to a strong friendship between them, for example. So condolence is for the bereaved, not for the relative. But now, unfortunately, the scales have been turned, and condolence has become for the relative, even if he was happy and beat drums over the death of his relative, he is still offered condolences. Meaning, perhaps some people are poor, and there are many problems between him and his cousin, and his cousin died and he has millions of dirhams. Does he rejoice when his cousin dies in such a situation, or is he bereaved?
Usually he rejoices, saying: "Praise be to Allah who saved me from his problems and made me inherit his wealth." This person is not offered condolences. How can he be offered condolences?! This is a celebration, if we were to say anything.
The important point is that we must know that condolences are only to strengthen the bereaved in patience and to console them. So the best words and those closest to condolence should be chosen for it. And nothing is better than the words formulated by our Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him). And Allah is the One who grants success.