Etiquettes of Visiting Graves, the Prescribed Nature of Visiting Them, and Clarification of the Forbidden Visit

Question:
Our brother asks about the etiquettes that one must be aware of when visiting graveyards, and whether Islam encouraged visiting graves, as the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) and the Companions visited them, and whether women are permitted to visit graves? And did the Noble Qur'an mention anything about visiting the graves of the righteous, as Allah the Exalted said: [Surah al-Tawbah: 84]? Please guide us, may Allah reward you with good.

Answer:
Visiting graves is a confirmed Sunnah based on the action and statement of the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him), because it serves as a reminder of death and a reminder of the Hereafter. The Sunnah is for the believer to visit them with humility and desire for the Hereafter, with the intention of taking a lesson and remembering Allah, and to show mercy to the deceased and make du'a for them; based on his statement (peace and blessings be upon him): It was narrated by Muslim in his Sahih: .
And the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) used to visit them from time to time, at night and during the day. He would greet them (peace and blessings be upon him) and make du'a for them, saying: This was part of his action (peace and blessings be upon him). So it is recommended for the believer to visit them; based on the action of the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) and his statement, his saying: .
The purpose of the visit is to make du'a for them, to make du'a for the deceased for forgiveness and mercy, to remember the Hereafter, to remember death, and to prepare for it. This is the purpose.
Among its etiquettes: one does not pray at the graves, nor sit at them for du'a and recitation. Rather, one greets them with humility, desire for the Hereafter, fear of the punishment of Allah, and the intention to treat one's heart so that one does not die [unprepared]; because when one remembers death and graves, this becomes more conducive to preparing for the Hereafter, and softens the heart. One remembers death, remembers the Hereafter, and remembers the gathering of people on the Day of Resurrection, so his heart becomes soft. Thus, visiting graves softens hearts and reminds them of the Hereafter and death, so that becomes one of the causes of preparation and caution against leaning toward this world. But one does not pray at them, nor circumambulate them, nor ask their people for anything. Praying at them is a religious innovation, one of the means of shirk (associating partners with Allah). Recitation at them is a religious innovation, and sitting at them for du'a is a religious innovation. As for circumambulating them, it is shirk with Allah. If one circumambulates to draw near to the people of the graves, this is major shirk, like making du'a, like making du'a to them and seeking aid from them, making vows to them, and slaughtering for them. This is major shirk, as is done at some graves.
He says: "O my master, help me," or "heal my sick one," or "I am under your protection," or "intercede for me," or the like of that. All of this is major shirk, not at the grave of the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him), nor at the grave of the Companions, nor at the grave of anyone else. Rather, one greets them and makes du'a for them, saying: Like this.
And it is not permissible for the believer to ask them, or seek aid from them, or make vows to them, or slaughter for them. All of this is major shirk. And one does not circumambulate to draw near to them, for this is major shirk. But if one circumambulates thinking that it is prescribed, intending to draw near to Allah through the circumambulation, this is a blameworthy religious innovation; because it is one of the means of shirk. Circumambulation is specific to the Ka'bah.
But if one circumambulates to draw near to them, and wants their intercession, or so that they benefit him; then this is major shirk, like making du'a to them other than to Allah, seeking aid from them, and making vows to them. All of it is major shirk, as is done at al-Badawi, and at Shaykh Abdul Qadir in Iraq, or at the grave of Abu Hanifah, or at the grave of al-Hasan and al-Husayn, at the grave of al-Husayn in Egypt. All of this is major shirk: making du'a to them, seeking aid from them, and making vows to them.
And likewise, what some ignorant people do at the grave of the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him), such as making du'a to him, seeking aid from him, asking him for victory, asking him to heal the sick. All of that is major shirk. We ask Allah for safety. As for women, no. As for women, they are not permitted to visit graves. Women do not visit graves; because the Messenger (peace and blessings be upon him) forbade them from this, and he cursed those who visit graves; and because they are a fitnah (trial/temptation) and their patience is little.
And as for his saying: [Surah al-Tawbah: 84], this is a prohibition for the Messenger (peace and blessings be upon him) from standing at the graves of the hypocrites and praying over them. As for the Muslim, one stands at his grave and makes du'a for him after burial. When he is buried, one stands over him and asks for steadfastness and forgiveness for him, based on the saying of the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him)... Because when he finished burying the deceased (peace and blessings be upon him), he said: This was what he used to do (peace and blessings be upon him). When he finished burying the deceased, he would stand over him and say: .
So the believer stands at his grave and asks for forgiveness and steadfastness for him. As for the hypocrite, no. One does not pray over him, nor stand at his grave. We ask Allah for safety and well-being. Yes.

The presenter: O Allah, amen. May Allah reward you with good, and may He do you good.