Is visiting graves prescribed for women?

Q: Is visiting graves prescribed for women?

A: It is established from the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him) that he cursed the women who visit graves. This is from the hadith of Ibn Abbas, the hadith of Abu Hurayrah, and the hadith of Hassan ibn Thabit al-Ansari (may Allah be pleased with him) all of them.
The scholars derived from this that visiting graves is forbidden for women; because the curse does not occur except for a forbidden act, rather it indicates that it is among the major sins; because the scholars mentioned that the sin in which there is a curse or a warning is considered among the major sins. So the correct view is that visiting graves by women is forbidden, not merely disliked; and the reason for that, and Allah knows best, is that they are mostly lacking in patience, so it may happen from them wailing and the like, which contradicts the obligatory patience, and they are a fitnah (trial), so their visiting graves and following funerals may cause men to be fitnah (tried) by them, and they may be fitnah (tried) by men, and the complete Islamic Shari'ah came with blocking the means (sadd al-dhara'i') that lead to corruption and fitnah (trials), and that is from the mercy of Allah for His servants.
It is authentic from the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him) that he said: . It is agreed upon that it is authentic. So it is obligatory thereby to block the means that lead to the aforementioned fitnah (trial), and among that is what the purified Shari'ah brought of forbidding women's tabarruj (display of adornment) and their submission in speech to men, and the seclusion of a woman with a man who is not a mahram (close relative) and her traveling without a mahram, and all of that is from the chapter of blocking the means that lead to fitnah (trial) through them, and the saying of some jurists: that the grave of the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) and the graves of his two companions (may Allah be pleased with them) are excepted from that, is a saying without evidence, and the correct view is that the prohibition encompasses everyone, it encompasses all graves, even the grave of the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) and even the graves of his two companions (may Allah be pleased with them). And this is the relied-upon view from the standpoint of evidence.
As for men, it is recommended (mustahabb) for them to visit graves and to visit the grave of the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) and the graves of his two companions, but without traveling specifically for it (shadd al-rihal); because of his saying (peace and blessings be upon him): narrated by Muslim in his Sahih.
As for traveling specifically (shadd al-rihal) to visit graves, it is not permissible, and it is only prescribed for visiting the three mosques specifically; because of his saying (peace and blessings be upon him): It is agreed upon that it is authentic, and if the Muslim visits the Prophet's Mosque (peace and blessings be upon him), that includes, by way of dependency, visiting his grave (peace and blessings be upon him) and the graves of his two companions and the graves of the martyrs and the people of al-Baqi' and visiting the Mosque of Quba without traveling specifically for it, so he does not travel for the sake of the visit, but if he is in Medina, it is prescribed for him to visit the grave of the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) and the graves of his two companions, and to visit al-Baqi' and the martyrs and the Mosque of Quba, as for traveling specifically from far away for the sake of the visit only, this is not permissible according to the correct of the scholars' sayings, because of the saying of the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him): .
As for if one travels specifically to the Prophet's Mosque, then the visit to the noble grave and the other graves is dependent on that, so if he reaches the mosque, he prays in it what is easy, then he visits the grave of the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) and visits the grave of his two companions, and he prays and sends peace upon him (peace and blessings be upon him) and makes du'a' (supplication) for him, then he sends peace upon al-Siddiq (may Allah be pleased with him) and makes du'a' for him, then upon al-Faruq (may Allah be pleased with him) and makes du'a' for him, this is the Sunnah, and so it is with the other graves, if he visits, for example, Damascus or Cairo or Riyadh or any country, it is recommended for him to visit the graves; because of what is in them of admonition and remembrance and doing good to the dead by making du'a' for them and seeking mercy for them if they are Muslims, so the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said: .
And he taught his companions when they visited the graves to say: This is the Sunnah without traveling specifically for it, but they do not visit them to make du'a' to them other than to Allah; because this is shirk (associating partners with Allah) with Allah and worship of other than Him, and Allah has forbidden that for His servants in His saying, the Exalted: [al-Jinn:18] And He said, the Exalted: If you call them, they will not hear your call, and even if they heard, they would not respond to you, and on the Day of Resurrection they will disavow your shirk, and no one informs you like the All-Aware [Fatir:13-14] So He, the Exalted, made clear that the du'a' of the servants to the dead and the like of them is shirk with Him, the Exalted, and worship of other than Him, and so is His saying, the Exalted: [al-Mu'minun:117] So He named du'a' to other than Allah as kufr (disbelief), so it is obligatory upon the Muslim to beware of this, and it is obligatory upon the scholars to make these matters clear to the people so that they may beware of shirk with Allah, so many of the common people, when they pass by the graves of those they revere, seek aid from them and say: "Help, help, O so-and-so, aid me, help me, cure my sick one," and this is major shirk, and I seek refuge in Allah, and these matters are sought from Allah, Mighty and Majestic, not from the dead or from other than them of the created beings.
As for the living, one seeks from him what he is able to do if he is present and hears your speech, or by way of writing, or by way of the telephone and the like of those tangible matters, one seeks from him what he is able to do; one sends him a telegram or writes to him or speaks to him on the telephone, saying, "Help me with the renovation of my house or with the repair of my farm," because there is something of knowledge or cooperation between you and him, and there is no harm in that, as Allah said in the story of Musa: the verse [al-Qasas:15].
As for seeking from the dead or the absent or the inanimate, like the idols, the cure of a sick person or victory over the enemies or the like of that, this is major shirk, and so is your seeking from the living present what he is not able to do except Allah , it is considered shirk with Him ; because du'a' to the absent without the tangible devices means believing that he knows the unseen or that he hears your du'a' even if he is far, and this is a false belief that necessitates the kufr (disbelief) of the one who believes it, Allah, Glorified and Exalted is He, says: [al-Naml:65] Or you believe that he has a secret power by which he acts in the universe, giving to whom he wills and withholding from whom he wills, as some of the ignorant believe about some of those they call the awliya (close friends of Allah), and this is shirk in lordship, greater than the shirk of the worshippers of idols.
So the legislated visit to the dead is a visit of doing good and seeking mercy for them, and a remembrance of the Hereafter and preparation for it, so you remember that you are a dead person just as they died, so you prepare for the Hereafter, and you make du'a' for your dead Muslim brothers and seek mercy for them and seek forgiveness for them, and this is the wisdom in the legislation of visiting graves, and Allah is the One who grants success.