The Ruling on Thinking About Love and Correspondence Between a Girl and a Young Man

The question: Her final question states—and I also agreed with her in this question, as did the sister (Minira Muhammad .A)—they say in this question: Does Islam forbid love and thinking about a specific person, even if he is unaware of it, and she is not yet married? This is the question of the sister from Syria, and the question of the sister (Maryam Muhammad .A), which says: Lately, girls have increasingly been corresponding with young men, and this is love, as it is called: pure love. What is the position of Islam and Muslims regarding this? May Allah guide you.
The answer: Thinking about spouses, and young men thinking about wives, in order to seek a righteous wife, and to seek a righteous home and a righteous environment, this is truly required. If it becomes apparent to him that so-and-so is righteous and suitable for him, and his heart loves her, there is no blame on him in this; because love is an involuntary matter. Likewise, if she learns through correspondence or by telephone that a man is suitable for her in terms of his religion and his uprightness, and she loves to marry him in the Sharia-compliant manner, there is no blame in that. However, one must avoid the causes of corruption; one must avoid the causes of suspicious meetings and forbidden meetings. One should only engage in lawful means, such as: writing to her guardian, and speaking with him by telephone that he wants so-and-so. Likewise, she herself writes to those she sees among her relatives, such as her father or her other guardian, meaning: they facilitate the marriage in this Sharia-compliant manner, and there is no harm in that. The result is that exerting lawful means in marriage is permissible, whether through the telephone, or through writing to the young man, or to his father, or to those who have a connection with him so that they may intercede. He likewise writes to her father and her brother so that the marriage takes place. But there must be no forbidden meeting; rather, it is from afar to afar. She does not seclude herself with him, and he does not seclude himself with her. They do not speak with obscenity on the telephone or in letters, but rather with good words, expressing her desire for him and his desire for her in the Sharia-compliant manner. She says to him: Ask my father, my brother, or so-and-so for my hand. And he says: I mean, I want to marry you. If you are willing, I will write to your father or your brother or the like. The point is that this matter, whether through the telephone or letters, if it is in a Sharia-compliant manner and through lawful means, and neither of them intends anything other than this, then there is no blame in it. But if it is through other means, such as making appointments in dangerous places, or speaking in letters or on the telephone with what is not appropriate of obscenity, or the like of that, then this is not permissible.