What is the advice for a young man who has a romantic relationship with a girl?
Machine translationRead the Arabic original
Question:
I am a young man of seventeen years old. I love a girl who is two years younger than me. My problem is that I love her, and she reciprocates my feelings, but her brother is my friend, and my conscience does not allow me to betray my friend. I do not want him to know about it, but I want to meet her, and she is keen on that as well. So, should I meet her, or should I preserve my friendship? Knowing that the meeting does not go beyond a greeting? I am confused: should I sacrifice my friend, or my beloved? Have mercy on us, this is my situation. Please advise us, may Allah reward you with more knowledge and understanding. In the end, he says that he is being tormented by this and hopes that you will advise him.
Answer:
This, my son, is a great danger, and you should not do such a thing. It is obligatory for you, if you are able to marry, to ask for her hand from her guardians (awliya). You should propose to her through her guardians.
As for meeting with her, it will only increase your evil and trial, and it may lead you both to committing a major sin. Therefore, this is not permissible. Rather, if you desire her and she desires you, then seek that through the lawful path, the lawful path. Do not approach her, do not be alone with her, and do not speak with her on the telephones. But ask for her from her guardian and propose to her through her guardian. If she is given to you, praise be to Allah. Otherwise, Allah will give you something better than her.
Ask your Lord to give you what is in your good and well-being, and do not be eager for this one with whom you may meet through the path of Satan... which will harm your religion and your worldly life. There is no power and no strength except with Allah. And it may lead you to something whose outcome is not praiseworthy, such as... bad circumstances, and being exiled from your land, among other things.
The intended meaning: It is obligatory for anyone who desires a woman—whether a young man or an old man—to ask for her through the lawful path. He should propose to her through her guardians. If they agree, praise be to Allah. If they do not agree, Allah will make it easy for him to find another if he is sincere, and Allah will give him someone who is—Allah willing—more blessed than her.
And likewise, if a woman desires someone, she writes and says to her guardians, "So-and-so has proposed to me," or "So-and-so desires me," and asks them to look into the matter through the lawful path. As for the path of flirtation or forbidden seclusion, its danger is great—may Allah keep us safe.
I am a young man of seventeen years old. I love a girl who is two years younger than me. My problem is that I love her, and she reciprocates my feelings, but her brother is my friend, and my conscience does not allow me to betray my friend. I do not want him to know about it, but I want to meet her, and she is keen on that as well. So, should I meet her, or should I preserve my friendship? Knowing that the meeting does not go beyond a greeting? I am confused: should I sacrifice my friend, or my beloved? Have mercy on us, this is my situation. Please advise us, may Allah reward you with more knowledge and understanding. In the end, he says that he is being tormented by this and hopes that you will advise him.
Answer:
This, my son, is a great danger, and you should not do such a thing. It is obligatory for you, if you are able to marry, to ask for her hand from her guardians (awliya). You should propose to her through her guardians.
As for meeting with her, it will only increase your evil and trial, and it may lead you both to committing a major sin. Therefore, this is not permissible. Rather, if you desire her and she desires you, then seek that through the lawful path, the lawful path. Do not approach her, do not be alone with her, and do not speak with her on the telephones. But ask for her from her guardian and propose to her through her guardian. If she is given to you, praise be to Allah. Otherwise, Allah will give you something better than her.
Ask your Lord to give you what is in your good and well-being, and do not be eager for this one with whom you may meet through the path of Satan... which will harm your religion and your worldly life. There is no power and no strength except with Allah. And it may lead you to something whose outcome is not praiseworthy, such as... bad circumstances, and being exiled from your land, among other things.
The intended meaning: It is obligatory for anyone who desires a woman—whether a young man or an old man—to ask for her through the lawful path. He should propose to her through her guardians. If they agree, praise be to Allah. If they do not agree, Allah will make it easy for him to find another if he is sincere, and Allah will give him someone who is—Allah willing—more blessed than her.
And likewise, if a woman desires someone, she writes and says to her guardians, "So-and-so has proposed to me," or "So-and-so desires me," and asks them to look into the matter through the lawful path. As for the path of flirtation or forbidden seclusion, its danger is great—may Allah keep us safe.
Source
binbaz.org.sa
The Arabic text is copied verbatim from the original source, without any edits.