The Ruling on Shaking Hands with Elderly Women and Being Alone with Them
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Question:
The following message was received by the program from one of the brother listeners, who preferred not to have his name mentioned. He asks a collection of questions, saying: I have elderly women nearby, and they are my relatives, but they are not among my mahram (relatives one may not marry). I go to visit them and help them with some of their needs. However, when I enter to see them, I shake their hands or greet them by touching their heads. What is the ruling of the Shari'ah in this? And am I permitted to visit them given the situation described? May Allah reward you with good.
Answer:
You will be rewarded for being kind to them and fulfilling their needs—may Allah reward you with good—based on the saying of Allah the Exalted: [Surat al-Nisa: 36]. He commanded kindness to the near neighbor and the distant neighbor. And based on the saying of the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him): Sahih Muslim 47a In the other wording: And he said—(peace and blessings be upon him): Jami` at-Tirmidhi 1942Sahih (Darussalam).
So I advise you to continue in this good deed and be kind to them, but do not shake their hands or kiss their heads. Rather, the greeting, conversation, and assistance are sufficient. This is based on the saying of the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him):Sunan Ibn Majah 2874Sahih (Darussalam) And the saying of Aisha (may Allah be pleased with her): "By Allah, the hand of the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him) never touched the hand of a woman. He only took their pledge of allegiance through words." If he had shaken hands with elderly women, it would have been reported. And because a person may be tempted by an elderly woman; she may be beautiful, she may have a melodious voice, she may be...
The point is: every fall has a catcher; temptation may occur. So the Sunnah, and the obligatory thing, is that you do not shake their hands or kiss their heads, but rather through good words, the greeting, and being kind to them by fulfilling their needs, and giving them charity if they are in need.
There is another matter, which is being alone (khalwah). You are not permitted to be alone with any one of them, based on the saying of the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him):Al-Mustadrak lil-Hakim 2:94 This includes the elderly woman and the young woman. But if there are two or more, then there is no harm. Yes.
The presenter: May Allah reward you with good.
The following message was received by the program from one of the brother listeners, who preferred not to have his name mentioned. He asks a collection of questions, saying: I have elderly women nearby, and they are my relatives, but they are not among my mahram (relatives one may not marry). I go to visit them and help them with some of their needs. However, when I enter to see them, I shake their hands or greet them by touching their heads. What is the ruling of the Shari'ah in this? And am I permitted to visit them given the situation described? May Allah reward you with good.
Answer:
You will be rewarded for being kind to them and fulfilling their needs—may Allah reward you with good—based on the saying of Allah the Exalted:
the near neighbor, the neighbor farther away
وَالْجَارِ ذِي الْقُرْبَى وَالْجَارِ الْجُنُبِhe who believes in Allah and the Last Day should treat his neighbour with kindness
من كان يؤمن بالله واليوم الآخر؛ فليكرم جارهLet him be good to his neighbor
فليحسن إلى جارهJibril – may the Salawat of Allah be upon him – continued to recommend me about (treating) the neighbors so (kindly and politely), that I thought he would order me to make them heirs.
ما زال جبريل يوصيني بالجار حتى ظننت أنه سيورثهSo I advise you to continue in this good deed and be kind to them, but do not shake their hands or kiss their heads. Rather, the greeting, conversation, and assistance are sufficient. This is based on the saying of the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him):
But I do not shake hands with women.
إني لا أصافح النساءThe point is: every fall has a catcher; temptation may occur. So the Sunnah, and the obligatory thing, is that you do not shake their hands or kiss their heads, but rather through good words, the greeting, and being kind to them by fulfilling their needs, and giving them charity if they are in need.
There is another matter, which is being alone (khalwah). You are not permitted to be alone with any one of them, based on the saying of the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him):
A man should not be alone with a woman, for the Shaytan is the third among them.
لا يخلون رجل بامرأة؛ فإن الشيطان ثالثهماThe presenter: May Allah reward you with good.
Source
binbaz.org.sa
The Arabic text is copied verbatim from the original source, without any edits.