What is the correct method for forbidding evil in the home?
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Question:
A young man may witness a religious violation in his home, and he may find it difficult to forbid it, and even more difficult to remain silent about this violation. Is there any guidance regarding the approach that the young man should take toward these violations?
Answer:
It is not permissible for a young man, nor for anyone other than a young man, to remain silent. Rather, he must forbid evil according to his ability, whether he is a young man, a young woman, a middle-aged person, an old man, or an old woman. It is obligatory for everyone to forbid evil. Allah the Exalted says in His great Book: [Al-Tawbah: 71]. He made this character one of the characteristics of all believing men and women. He, the Exalted, said: [Al-Imran: 110]. He cursed the disbelievers of the Children of Israel for neglecting this obligation, so He, the Exalted, said: [Al-Ma'idah 5:78] They were not forbidding one another from the evil they used to do [Al-Ma'idah: 78-79].
And the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said: Imam Ahmad narrated it with a sound chain from al-Siddiq (may Allah be pleased with him) . He also said, may the prayers and peace be upon him: Sahih Muslim 49a Muslim narrated it in his "Sahih" from Abu Sa'id al-Khudri (may Allah be pleased with him) .
So it is obligatory for the young man and for others to forbid evil according to their ability, using the good manner and the appropriate method that they see as most effective and beneficial: toward his father, his mother, his brothers and sisters, his maternal uncles and paternal uncles, and others. Toward his family, he should use the method he sees as most effective. There is a specific way to deal with the father, a specific way to deal with the mother, a specific way to deal with maternal and paternal uncles, a specific way to deal with brothers, and a specific way to deal with the wife. He should strive to have others from his brothers help him if Allah guides them, so that the word is one. But with the good manner, especially with the parents. He should be polite with the parents and not speak except with good and reasonable words; because Allah said regarding the two disbelieving parents: [Luqman: 15]. So how much more so with two Muslims?
"O my father, thus and so, O my mother, O my mother, thus and so. This is not permissible, and I fear for you both the anger of Allah. I fear for you both the punishment for it." Regarding what he sees of evil: such as missing the prayers, listening to songs and entertainment, cursing and insulting, and other such evils. He should not be negligent, nor remain silent, but with wisdom, good words, and a good manner, and seeking the appropriate times. If it is possible for others from a maternal uncle or aunt, or a paternal uncle or aunt, or a brother to help with them, that would be more beneficial.
A young man may witness a religious violation in his home, and he may find it difficult to forbid it, and even more difficult to remain silent about this violation. Is there any guidance regarding the approach that the young man should take toward these violations?
Answer:
It is not permissible for a young man, nor for anyone other than a young man, to remain silent. Rather, he must forbid evil according to his ability, whether he is a young man, a young woman, a middle-aged person, an old man, or an old woman. It is obligatory for everyone to forbid evil. Allah the Exalted says in His great Book:
The believing men and believing women are allies of one another. They enjoin what is right and forbid what is wrong
وَالْمُؤْمِنُونَ وَالْمُؤْمِنَاتُ بَعْضُهُمْ أَوْلِيَاءُ بَعْضٍ يَأْمُرُونَ بِالْمَعْرُوفِ وَيَنْهَوْنَ عَنِ الْمُنْكَرِYou are the best nation produced [as an example] for mankind. You enjoin what is right and forbid what is wrong
كُنْتُمْ خَيْرَ أُمَّةٍ أُخْرِجَتْ لِلنَّاسِ تَأْمُرُونَ بِالْمَعْرُوفِ وَتَنْهَوْنَ عَنِ الْمُنْكَرِCursed were those who disbelieved among the Children of Israel by the tongue of David and of Jesus, the son of Mary. That was because they disobeyed and [habitually] transgressed.
لُعِنَ الَّذِينَ كَفَرُوا مِنْ بَنِي إِسْرَائِيلَ عَلَى لِسَانِ دَاوُودَ وَعِيسَى ابْنِ مَرْيَمَ ذَلِكَ بِمَا عَصَوْا وَكَانُوا يَعْتَدُونَ And the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said:
Indeed, when people see an evil and do not change it, it is likely that Allah will encompass them with His punishment.
إنَّ الناس إذا رأوا المنكر ولم يُغيِّروه أوشك أن يعمَّهم الله بعقابهHe who amongst you sees something abominable should modify it with the help of his hand; and if he has not strength enough to do it, then he should do it with his tongue, and if he has not strength enough to do it, (even) then he should (abhor it) from his heart, and that is the least of faith.
مَن رأى منكم مُنكرًا فليُغيره بيده، فإن لم يستطع فبلسانه، فإن لم يستطع فبقلبه، وذلك أضعف الإيمانSo it is obligatory for the young man and for others to forbid evil according to their ability, using the good manner and the appropriate method that they see as most effective and beneficial: toward his father, his mother, his brothers and sisters, his maternal uncles and paternal uncles, and others. Toward his family, he should use the method he sees as most effective. There is a specific way to deal with the father, a specific way to deal with the mother, a specific way to deal with maternal and paternal uncles, a specific way to deal with brothers, and a specific way to deal with the wife. He should strive to have others from his brothers help him if Allah guides them, so that the word is one. But with the good manner, especially with the parents. He should be polite with the parents and not speak except with good and reasonable words; because Allah said regarding the two disbelieving parents:
but accompany them in [this] world with appropriate kindness
وَصَاحِبْهُمَا فِي الدُّنْيَا مَعْرُوفًا"O my father, thus and so, O my mother, O my mother, thus and so. This is not permissible, and I fear for you both the anger of Allah. I fear for you both the punishment for it." Regarding what he sees of evil: such as missing the prayers, listening to songs and entertainment, cursing and insulting, and other such evils. He should not be negligent, nor remain silent, but with wisdom, good words, and a good manner, and seeking the appropriate times. If it is possible for others from a maternal uncle or aunt, or a paternal uncle or aunt, or a brother to help with them, that would be more beneficial.
Source
binbaz.org.sa
The Arabic text is copied verbatim from the original source, without any edits.