The ruling on repenting from sins, then returning to them, and contemplating suicide because of them

This is a letter from the sender (M. M. F.) from Makkah al-Mukarramah, and it is a long letter in which she says: I am a twenty-two-year-old girl, married to a good man who obeys the commands of Allah, and I have given birth to two children from him. I live with him in happiness, and praise be to Allah.
Before my marriage, I was a good girl who obeyed the commands of Allah the Exalted, but my situation changed about eight years ago. My soul began to command me to do evil, causing me to commit sins that take one out of the religion. I have been living and suffering from tightness in my chest, anxiety, confusion, and distress. However, I return to seek forgiveness from Allah the Mighty and Sublime and draw near to Him through various means of nearness. Days come when I feel security and comfort, but those days quickly pass, and I return to the sins again, as if I cannot do without them. Then I am struck with tightness and anxiety, I cry, and I become sad and miserable. I hide this from my family and my husband. Now, O honorable Shaykh! I fear that I am among the people of hypocrisy because I hide my sins and do not display them. I think about death and what my fate will be, and I fear the punishment of Allah (Glorified and Exalted is He) . Sometimes I say: Am I among those whom Allah has written as the wretched in this world and the Hereafter? Will Allah forgive me and admit me to Paradise?
Now I say: Why do I maintain the obligatory acts while committing forbidden acts? I am confused about my situation, and I think about suicide so that I may be relieved of what I am in. However, I return and retract from that idea out of fear of the punishment of Allah (Glorified and Exalted is He) . I am confused; what do you advise me to do, O honorable Shaykh? I ask you to pray for me for guidance after which there is no misguidance, and for Allah to expand my chest. Please advise us, may Allah reward you.
Answer: I ask Allah for you guidance and steadfastness upon the truth, and sincere repentance, for therein is happiness and salvation. As long as you repent to Allah with a sincere repentance, repentance erases what came before it of sins. It is authentic from the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him) that he said: And he said: So as long as, by the praise of Allah, after those bad thoughts occur to you, you repent to Allah and return to Him; praise be to Allah, for repentance erases what has passed of evil, sins, and disobedience, even disbelief. Allah the Sublime says: [Al-Anfal: 38].
So whoever repents, Allah accepts his repentance: My advice to you is to be steadfast in repentance, and to ask Allah the Majestic and Exalted to make you steadfast upon it and to help you with it. Do this in your prayer, in prostration, in the last part of the tashahhud, in the last part of the night, and in other times. Be humble before Allah the Majestic and Exalted with sincerity, asking that Allah bestow upon you repentance, guide you to His straight path, and help you to be steadfast upon the truth, until you are upright upon it, and until you are steadfast upon it until death.
As for suicide, this is a great abomination and a major sin that is never permissible for a believer to commit. It is authentic from the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) that he warned against it, and he informed that whoever kills himself is in the Fire, may Allah keep us safe. And Allah says: [Al-Nisa: 29]. So the believer must beware of this bad thought and this bad deed, which the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) warned against and informed that its doer is in the Fire. We seek refuge in Allah.
So it is obligatory for you to beware of this thought, to be steadfast in repentance, and to beware of sins and evil deeds. Whoever repents, Allah accepts his repentance. The past has passed, and repentance has erased it, praise be to Allah. So be upright, be patient, and be steadfast, and Allah the Majestic and Exalted will help you with it and make you steadfast upon it. Yes.
The presenter: May Allah bless you. Also, O Shaykh, there may be causes that return her to sin again, such as a bad companion, or loneliness, for sometimes Satan isolates her. Do you not advise her to avoid the causes that return her to sins?
The Shaykh: Likewise, if there are, O our sister in Allah! If there are causes that drag you to sins, beware of them. For example: a bad companion, a bad brother, a bad uncle, or a bad sister, or a bad neighbor, or the like. Avoid the companions of evil and the sitters of evil, and beware. And likewise, if the causes are listening to the radio, listening to songs, television, or the like, avoid the thing that you believe or suspect is the cause. Beware of the causes, and whoever fears Allah, Allah will help him. Allah says: [Al-Talaq: 2] [Al-Talaq: 4]. Yes.
The presenter: May Allah reward you.