The ruling on a man being absent from his family for a long period

Question:
A brother of ours from the Arab Republic of Egypt—Ramadan Muhammad 'Ammar—says: It has been three years, and I am now entering my fourth, that I have been absent from my wife and my children, but I have provided for their household expenses and school fees. Am I wrong in being absent from my wife for this duration? I ask for guidance. May Allah reward you with good.

Answer:
As far as we know, the pure Shari'ah has not specified a limit for a husband's absence. It is narrated from 'Umar ibn al-Khattab (may Allah be pleased with him) that he set six months for soldiers, based on independent legal reasoning and seeking the good. So, if you, O questioner, have been absent in pursuit of lawful sustenance, and matters compelled you to prolong your absence from your family, we hope that nothing is required of you, as long as you have fulfilled their rights and provided for them. However, you should not prolong your absence, and you should consider your wife's and children's need for your presence, for satisfying your desire with your family, for the chastity of your family, for supervising your children, disciplining them, and raising them with Islamic upbringing, and for other interests of theirs.
You should therefore observe the appropriate duration for which you return to them, and then go back to your work if you cannot find employment in your hometown and it is not feasible to move them with you to a suitable, safe location. In any case, you must consider what is best for the modesty of your family and the well-being of your children, whether by moving them with you or by visiting them for a period that is not too long, such as three months, two months, four, or five, depending on what is feasible for you while you are seeking sustenance, seeking what is lawful, and in need of doing so. As far as we know from the Book and the Sunnah, there is no fixed time prescribed for this, and 'Umar's (may Allah be pleased with him) independent legal reasoning in this matter has its merit.
A wife may need less than six months. She may be in a dangerous place where your absence for six months would harm her, or she may be in a safe place and possess enough intellect, religion, and faith to reassure you if you stayed longer than six months. The situation varies. The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said: , and 'Umar was among them, indeed he was the best of them after the Companion (may Allah be pleased with him). So you must consider what is best and closest to the safety of your family and children, regarding the six months, or less than that, or more than that, according to your ability and the condition of your family, and the reassurance regarding the safety of the family and children from what harms them and the absence of such harm. This is a matter of independent legal reasoning and consideration for you, and it is obligatory for you to do what is best, what is most cautious, and what is closest to the safety of your family and children. And Allah is the Helper. Yes.

The presenter: May Allah bless you. Regarding our era and the trials and temptations in it, do you advise adopting the opinion of 'Umar (may Allah be pleased with him)?

The Shaykh: Rather, I advise less than that. I advise that the duration be less than six months, and that the husband should consider not prolonging the absence, and that the absence be very short whenever possible, or that he stay with his family even if it is difficult, or that he move them with him. Because the dangers are many and the trials are many, and safety is rare in most places now. He should consider this and be cautious that his family does not fall into what is not permissible because of his absence. And Allah is the Helper. Yes.

The presenter: And Allah is the Helper, may Allah reward you with good.