The Obligation of a Man to Fulfill His Duties Toward His Family

Question:
A listener sent a message containing ten questions:
In her first question, she says: A man has lived with his wife for more than twenty-two years, and he treats her badly. He does not provide for her as Allah commanded him, so he does not suffice her needs, nor does he appreciate her worth. She has lived with him these years in hardship, treating him with the best treatment. She is like a servant in his home, serving him day and night without rest. He has been ill for a long time, and she is patient for the sake of her children, seeking reward from Allah.
Also, he has daughters for whom he has not provided for a long time, and he does not pay zakah on the jewelry they possess. What is your advice, Your Eminence the Shaykh, for this man and those like him? And is it permissible for the young women to sell their jewelry to pay the zakah, or what should they do?
May Allah reward you with good.

Answer:
First: She is rewarded. You, the questioner, are rewarded and thanked for your patience, your good obedience, and your service to your husband and children. So be glad of the great reward, the immense good, and a good outcome, if Allah wills. As for him, if he is as you described, he is sinful because he is negligent in performing the obligatory duty. It is obligatory for him to be good to his wife in speech and action, and to provide for her as Allah commanded him, and for his children as Allah commanded him. As Allah (Glorified and Exalted is He) said: : [Surat al-Nisa: 19]. He (Glorified and Exalted is He) said: [Surat al-Baqarah: 228]. This is his obligation: to make his speech good, his actions good, and to perform what Allah has made obligatory of maintenance and good treatment. But as long as you are patient with him and seek reward from Allah for the mistreatment and negligence coming from him, you are rewarded, and he is sinful. We ask Allah to guide him.
It is recommended that you bring the matter to someone you think will be of benefit, such as his father, brother, uncle, or maternal uncle, so that he may advise him to fulfill his obligations. As for litigation, it is better to avoid it, as it may lead to consequences that are not to be commended. However, it is required that his relatives advise him, guide him to what is good, and warn him of Allah , making it clear to him that this is not permissible and that he must treat his wife with kindness and fulfill his obligations. Religion is sincere advice, and Allah says: [Al-Ma'idah: 2].
As for the jewelry, if he pays the zakah on behalf of his daughters, praise be to Allah. Otherwise, they should pay zakah, even from their jewelry. They may sell some of the jewelry so that they can pay zakah on the remainder, or until the remainder is less than the nisab, in which case there is no zakah on it. If you pay the zakah on their behalf with their permission, provided they are adults, you must seek their permission. If you are given permission to pay zakah on their behalf, or if their brother or older sister pays it on their behalf, the objective is achieved, provided permission is given. If they sell some of the jewelry and pay zakah on the remainder, provided the remainder reaches the nisab, this is what is obligatory for them. If they sell enough of the jewelry to make the remainder less than the nisab, the zakah is dropped for the future, provided the remainder does not reach twenty mithqals, meaning ninety-two grams, or eleven and a half Saudi riyals. Yes.

The presenter: May Allah bless you.