How to Deal with a Son Who Neglects the Congregational Prayer
Machine translationRead the Arabic original
Question:
One of the female listeners from Riyadh says: The sender, Umm Abdullah, has a case in which she says: A man is approaching thirty years of age, and he usually prays at home, but he attends the congregation at some times and on Fridays, yet he does not appear to be eager to stick to the congregation. His mother insists on him sticking to the congregation, and some have suggested to her that she show her anger at him and not sit with him, so that perhaps he will return. But she is afraid for him and says: I advise him...
I seek detailed guidance for this man regarding the evidence for the obligation of the congregation, and what is required of the Muslim in obeying Allah and thanking Him for the good blessings He has bestowed upon man, such as the blessing of health, youth, well-being, and abundance of provision, praise be to Allah.
And what is the legal ruling on sitting with him and eating with him in this state? And another piece of advice: we ask that you please guide the mother and advise her on any method she should use with this young man so that perhaps he will return.
Answer:
There is no doubt that praying in congregation with the Muslims in the houses of Allah is among the most important obligations, and it is the banner of Islam. It is obligatory for every person of legal age to take care of this, to hasten and rush to establish the prayer in congregation with the Muslims, and to distance himself from imitating the people of hypocrisy. Ibn Mas'ud (may Allah be pleased with him) said: "Whoever wishes to meet Allah tomorrow as a Muslim, let him guard these five prayers where they are called for; for Allah has prescribed for your Prophet the guidance, and they are among the practices of the guidance. If you were to pray in your homes as this laggard prays in his home, you would have abandoned the Sunnah of your Prophet, and if you abandoned the Sunnah of your Prophet, you would have gone astray—and in another wording: you would have become disbelievers. And I have seen us, and none lagged behind from it—meaning: the prayer in congregation—except a known hypocrite whose hypocrisy was known. And indeed, a man—meaning: from the Companions—would be brought, supported between two men—meaning: sick or old in age—until he was placed in the row," due to their intense eagerness to perform the prayer in congregation.
And the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said:Bulugh al-Maram 2:308 It was said to Ibn Abbas: What is the excuse? He said: Fear or illness. Meaning: fear that if he leaves his home he will be killed, imprisoned, or beaten; because the lands are not safe, or illness that prevents him from it.
In the authentic collections, it is narrated from Abu Hurayrah (may Allah be pleased with him) from the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him): that a blind man came to him and said, "O Messenger of Allah! I have no guide to lead me to the mosque. Do I have a dispensation to pray in my house?" The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said to him:Sahih Muslim 653 He said, "Yes." He said: Muslim narrated it in his Sahih.
In another narration in a source other than Muslim:Sunan Abi Dawud 552Hasan Sahih (Al-Albani) So he (peace and blessings be upon him) informed that there is no dispensation for a blind man who has no guide to lead him to pray in his home; rather, he must pray in the mosque with the people. If the blind man who has no guide to lead him has no dispensation, how much more so is the case of the healthy, well, and seeing person? The matter is greater.
And he (peace and blessings be upon him) intended to burn down the houses of the laggards, as is in the two Sahihs from him (peace and blessings be upon him) that he said: Thus he (peace and blessings be upon him) said, and in a narration by Ahmad: Mishkat al-Masabih 1073.
So the point is that praying in congregation in the houses of Allah is an obligatory matter, a binding matter, and a banner of the Muslims, a banner of the people of truth. Lagging behind from it in the homes is a banner of the hypocrites. So it is not befitting for a Muslim to be content with imitating the people of hypocrisy about whom Allah, the Exalted, said:[An-Nisa 4:142] wavering between them, belonging neither to these nor to those [Al-Nisa: 142-143]. He, the Exalted, mentioned them with five characteristics of the hypocrites, five:
The first is that they deceive Allah and those who believe. They have no sincere advice or trustworthiness; they have scheming and deception, and lying in their dealings.
The second is that when they stand for prayer, they stand lazily. They have no energy due to their lack of faith; it is nothing but showing off.
The third is that they do not remember Allah except a little. Their remembrance of Allah is little, and heedlessness prevails over them.
The fourth is that they are people of showing off; they show off their deeds to people. They have no sincerity; showing off, seeking fame, and seeking praise prevail over them in their deeds, and they have no sincerity for Allah .
The fifth is that they are wavering; they have no steadfastness, and they have no straight goal. Rather, at times they are with the believers and at times with the disbelievers. They have no principle, no stable religion, and no sincere faith. Rather, if the believers appear and are victorious, they become with the believers, and if the disbelievers prevail over the Muslims, they become with the disbelievers. This is the state of the hypocrites.
So how can a believer be content to imitate them in lagging behind from the prayer in congregation?
And the mother who advised her son to pray with the congregation has done well, and this is what is obligatory upon her. It is obligatory upon her to continue in that, to advise him constantly, and to boycott him if he refuses and does not comply. She should seek help against him from Allah, then from those she sees among his relatives, such as his father, his older brother, his uncle, and the like, if he has righteous relatives. If he has righteous relatives, she should seek help from Allah, then from them.
The conclusion is that one who is known for lagging behind from the congregation deserves to be boycotted, and deserves to be disciplined by the rulers until he straightens out and guards the prayer in congregation.
Then among the greatest misfortunes is that lagging behind from the congregation is among the greatest causes for abandoning it entirely, we seek refuge in Allah; because this disease in the heart that caused him to lag behind will usually lead him to abandonment and indifference. So at times he prays and at times he does not pray, and it may lead him to showing off: if he sees someone he is shy of, he prays, and if he is alone, he abandons it. This is the state of the hypocrites, we seek refuge in Allah.
So it is obligatory to be cautious, and it is obligatory for the mother, the man's relatives, and his friends to advise him, to help his mother against him, and to boycott him if he persists in his falsehood and his lagging behind. We ask Allah for guidance for everyone.
The presenter: May Allah reward you with good. At the end of the question, she asks Your Eminence, the Shaykh, about sitting with him and eating with him, and seeks your guidance. May Allah reward you with good.
The Shaykh: Do what is most beneficial. If she sees that eating with him and sitting with him helps in performing the obligation and guarding the prayer, she should do that and strive. If that does not benefit and does not affect him, she should boycott him, not sit with him, and not eat with him, and she deserves to be angry at him, to be angry with him, and to seek help from those she sees among his relatives and people of good in guiding him or deterring him. Yes.
The presenter: May Allah reward you with good. This is while he attends some congregations and attends Friday prayer?
The Shaykh: Even so, yes, we ask Allah for safety. It is necessary for everyone to attend and take care of everyone. We ask Allah for safety. Yes.
The presenter: May Allah reward you with good.
One of the female listeners from Riyadh says: The sender, Umm Abdullah, has a case in which she says: A man is approaching thirty years of age, and he usually prays at home, but he attends the congregation at some times and on Fridays, yet he does not appear to be eager to stick to the congregation. His mother insists on him sticking to the congregation, and some have suggested to her that she show her anger at him and not sit with him, so that perhaps he will return. But she is afraid for him and says: I advise him...
I seek detailed guidance for this man regarding the evidence for the obligation of the congregation, and what is required of the Muslim in obeying Allah and thanking Him for the good blessings He has bestowed upon man, such as the blessing of health, youth, well-being, and abundance of provision, praise be to Allah.
And what is the legal ruling on sitting with him and eating with him in this state? And another piece of advice: we ask that you please guide the mother and advise her on any method she should use with this young man so that perhaps he will return.
Answer:
There is no doubt that praying in congregation with the Muslims in the houses of Allah is among the most important obligations, and it is the banner of Islam. It is obligatory for every person of legal age to take care of this, to hasten and rush to establish the prayer in congregation with the Muslims, and to distance himself from imitating the people of hypocrisy. Ibn Mas'ud (may Allah be pleased with him) said: "Whoever wishes to meet Allah tomorrow as a Muslim, let him guard these five prayers where they are called for; for Allah has prescribed for your Prophet the guidance, and they are among the practices of the guidance. If you were to pray in your homes as this laggard prays in his home, you would have abandoned the Sunnah of your Prophet, and if you abandoned the Sunnah of your Prophet, you would have gone astray—and in another wording: you would have become disbelievers. And I have seen us, and none lagged behind from it—meaning: the prayer in congregation—except a known hypocrite whose hypocrisy was known. And indeed, a man—meaning: from the Companions—would be brought, supported between two men—meaning: sick or old in age—until he was placed in the row," due to their intense eagerness to perform the prayer in congregation.
And the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said:
Whoever hears the call for prayer and and does not come (to the mosque for prayer), his prayer will not be accepted from him, unless he has a (legitimate) excuse.
من سمع النداء فلم يأت فلا صلاة له إلا من عذرIn the authentic collections, it is narrated from Abu Hurayrah (may Allah be pleased with him) from the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him): that a blind man came to him and said, "O Messenger of Allah! I have no guide to lead me to the mosque. Do I have a dispensation to pray in my house?" The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said to him:
Do you hear the call to prayer?
هل تسمع النداء بالصلاة؟Then respond.
فأجبIn another narration in a source other than Muslim:
I do not find any permission for you.
لا أجد لك رخصةAnd he (peace and blessings be upon him) intended to burn down the houses of the laggards, as is in the two Sahihs from him (peace and blessings be upon him) that he said:
I intended to order that the prayer be established, then order a man to lead the people, then set out with men carrying bundles of firewood to men who do not attend the prayer—meaning: in the mosques—and burn down their houses.
لقد هممت أن آمر بالصلاة فتقام ثم آمر رجلاً فيؤم الناس، ثم انطلق برجال معهم حزم من حطب إلى رجال لا يشهدون الصلاة -يعني: في المساجد- فأحرق عليهم بيوتهمWere it not for the women and children who are in the houses
لولا ما في البيوت من النساء والذرية لحرقتها عليهمSo the point is that praying in congregation in the houses of Allah is an obligatory matter, a binding matter, and a banner of the Muslims, a banner of the people of truth. Lagging behind from it in the homes is a banner of the hypocrites. So it is not befitting for a Muslim to be content with imitating the people of hypocrisy about whom Allah, the Exalted, said:
Indeed, the hypocrites [think to] deceive Allah, but He is deceiving them. And when they stand for prayer, they stand lazily, showing [themselves to] the people and not remembering Allah except a little,
إِنَّ الْمُنَافِقِينَ يُخَادِعُونَ اللَّهَ وَهُوَ خَادِعُهُمْ وَإِذَا قَامُوا إِلَى الصَّلاةِ قَامُوا كُسَالَى يُرَاءُونَ النَّاسَ وَلا يَذْكُرُونَ اللَّهَ إِلَّا قَلِيلًا The first is that they deceive Allah and those who believe. They have no sincere advice or trustworthiness; they have scheming and deception, and lying in their dealings.
The second is that when they stand for prayer, they stand lazily. They have no energy due to their lack of faith; it is nothing but showing off.
The third is that they do not remember Allah except a little. Their remembrance of Allah is little, and heedlessness prevails over them.
The fourth is that they are people of showing off; they show off their deeds to people. They have no sincerity; showing off, seeking fame, and seeking praise prevail over them in their deeds, and they have no sincerity for Allah .
The fifth is that they are wavering; they have no steadfastness, and they have no straight goal. Rather, at times they are with the believers and at times with the disbelievers. They have no principle, no stable religion, and no sincere faith. Rather, if the believers appear and are victorious, they become with the believers, and if the disbelievers prevail over the Muslims, they become with the disbelievers. This is the state of the hypocrites.
So how can a believer be content to imitate them in lagging behind from the prayer in congregation?
And the mother who advised her son to pray with the congregation has done well, and this is what is obligatory upon her. It is obligatory upon her to continue in that, to advise him constantly, and to boycott him if he refuses and does not comply. She should seek help against him from Allah, then from those she sees among his relatives, such as his father, his older brother, his uncle, and the like, if he has righteous relatives. If he has righteous relatives, she should seek help from Allah, then from them.
The conclusion is that one who is known for lagging behind from the congregation deserves to be boycotted, and deserves to be disciplined by the rulers until he straightens out and guards the prayer in congregation.
Then among the greatest misfortunes is that lagging behind from the congregation is among the greatest causes for abandoning it entirely, we seek refuge in Allah; because this disease in the heart that caused him to lag behind will usually lead him to abandonment and indifference. So at times he prays and at times he does not pray, and it may lead him to showing off: if he sees someone he is shy of, he prays, and if he is alone, he abandons it. This is the state of the hypocrites, we seek refuge in Allah.
So it is obligatory to be cautious, and it is obligatory for the mother, the man's relatives, and his friends to advise him, to help his mother against him, and to boycott him if he persists in his falsehood and his lagging behind. We ask Allah for guidance for everyone.
The presenter: May Allah reward you with good. At the end of the question, she asks Your Eminence, the Shaykh, about sitting with him and eating with him, and seeks your guidance. May Allah reward you with good.
The Shaykh: Do what is most beneficial. If she sees that eating with him and sitting with him helps in performing the obligation and guarding the prayer, she should do that and strive. If that does not benefit and does not affect him, she should boycott him, not sit with him, and not eat with him, and she deserves to be angry at him, to be angry with him, and to seek help from those she sees among his relatives and people of good in guiding him or deterring him. Yes.
The presenter: May Allah reward you with good. This is while he attends some congregations and attends Friday prayer?
The Shaykh: Even so, yes, we ask Allah for safety. It is necessary for everyone to attend and take care of everyone. We ask Allah for safety. Yes.
The presenter: May Allah reward you with good.
Source
binbaz.org.sa
The Arabic text is copied verbatim from the original source, without any edits.