How to Deal with a Husband Who Neglects the Congregational Prayer

Question:
With Allah’s blessing, we begin this session with a letter from Umm Sarah in al-Madinah al-Munawwarah. She wrote this letter in her own style, saying: “Your Eminence! My husband sometimes does not perform some of the prayers in the mosque with the congregation, but he prays them at home, especially the Fajr and ‘Asr prayers. Allah knows that I have tried with him many times, but to no avail. I always made sure to wake him up to perform the prayer in the mosque. At first, he would respond to this, but then he began to refuse to wake up and would remind us of this before he sleeps, saying: ‘Do not wake us up.’ However, I wake him for the prayer out of desire for reward and seeking reward. So we have been in constant disagreement over this matter, and I have suffered mentally from the frequent marital disputes and arguments when he wakes up. If I ask one of his daughters to wake him, he scolds them and forbids them from doing so. Therefore, in the last few months, I have completely stopped waking him. If he wakes up at the time, he prays in the mosque; otherwise, he prays at home. I ask Your Eminence, Shaykh ‘Abd al-‘Aziz (may Allah preserve him), to clarify for me whether I am sinful for not waking him, given the frequent marital disputes, which have caused me embarrassment and have affected my health and mental state? Guide us, may Allah reward you.”

Answer:
In the name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful. Praise be to Allah, and may Allah send prayers and blessings upon the Messenger of Allah, and upon his family and his Companions, and upon those who follow his guidance.
As for what follows:
It is obligatory for every believing man and woman to forbid what is wrong from the one who does it, whether he is a husband or not, due to the saying of Allah the Exalted: [Surah al-Tawbah: 71], and due to the saying of Allah (Mighty and Majestic) : [Surah Aal ‘Imran: 110], and due to His saying: “They used not to forbid one another from doing what was wrong, so wretched were they in what they used to do” [Surah al-Ma’idah: 78-79]. So He cursed them for their evil deeds, among which is not forbidding one another from what is wrong.
So it is obligatory for you to wake him and to be patient with some of the harm that occurs, and be glad of good and great reward. And if he delays the prayer until the sun rises and does so intentionally, or delays the ‘Asr prayer until the sun sets; then this is major shirk (associating partners with Allah); because delaying the prayer from its time intentionally is major shirk according to the correct opinion of the scholars; due to the saying of the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him): , and his saying (peace and blessings be upon him): .
As for if he does not [delay it], but stands up and prays within the time, but does not pray in the congregation, this is a sin. It is obligatory for him to repent to Allah for that, and it is obligatory for you to forbid him from this wrong, and to strive in that and be patient. And his daughters, and his mother if she is present, and his father if he is present, should help in this; because it is obligatory to cooperate in righteousness and piety, as Allah the Exalted said: [Surah al-Ma’idah: 2]. And along with that, you should ask Allah for his guidance. Count on the reward, and ask Allah for his guidance in your prostration, at the end of your prayer, and in other times. Say: “O Allah, guide so-and-so. O Allah, rectify his heart and his deeds. O Allah, bestow upon him sincere repentance.” Perhaps Allah will guide him through your means. And be glad of good and great reward. Yes.

The presenter: May Allah reward you, O Shaykh.