How should one deal with relatives who do not pray?
Machine translationRead the Arabic original
Question:
His Eminence the Shaykh says, in another question: I have an aunt who has passed her third decade, but she does not pray, despite being kind in her dealings and good in her character. I have ordered her to pray, but she did not comply with my order. What is your guidance regarding her? And what is your guidance for her? May Allah reward you with good.
Answer:
It is obligatory for her to pray, because prayer is the pillar of Islam, and it is obligatory upon every Muslim man and woman, and it is the second pillar of the five pillars of Islam. Allah (Exalted and Majestic is He) said: [al-Baqarah: 238] And He the Exalted said: [al-Nur: 56] And He (Exalted and Majestic is He) said: [Al-Mu'minun 23:1] those who are humble in their prayers.. [al-Mu'minun: 1-2] until He said at the end of the verses: those are the inheritors who will inherit the Garden of Eden; they will abide therein forever [al-Mu'minun: 9-11] And this includes both men and women.
And the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said:Jami` at-Tirmidhi 2616Hasan (Darussalam) And he (peace and blessings be upon him) said: Sunan Ibn Majah 1079Sahih (Darussalam).
So it is obligatory for her to pray the five prayers, and to maintain them in their times. And it is upon you to advise her constantly. And it is upon her father, her mother, her paternal uncles, her maternal uncles, and her brothers to advise her, and to strive in that, because this is the duty of everyone. And if she persists, then it is obligatory to discipline her by her father and her older brothers, even by beating her until she straightens out, until she prays, because whoever abandons prayer is asked to repent, and if he repents, otherwise he is killed, as a disbeliever—may Allah keep us safe—from among men and women.
So it is obligatory for her to obey the command of Allah, and to hasten to prayer. And it is upon her relatives to advise her. And it is upon her father, or her grandfather, or her older brothers to stand firm against her in that with truthfulness and strength, even by discipline and beating until she straightens out, until she prays.
And it is also recommended to boycott her if the boycott is beneficial. Boycott her: such as not speaking to her, not greeting her, and not visiting her. But the father, and the like of him, the boycott is not sufficient from him; rather, he must do what is obligatory of discipline and compulsion. Her father, and likewise her grandfather, and likewise her brother.
The point is: that it is upon the relatives to care for this matter, and to advise, because boycotting her may cause her to remain in her invalid state. But caring for her, and striving for her straightness, this is what is obligatory upon everyone, even by discipline and beating from her father, or her older brother, until she straightens out, until she prays. We ask Allah for guidance for us and for her.
The presenter: O Allah, amen. May Allah reward you with good. His Eminence the Shaykh! What is your guidance if this woman has a husband?
The Shaykh: If her husband is praying, it is not permissible for him to remain with her. He must separate from her, if she does not find guidance and does not repent; he must separate from her completely, until she repents. And he is able to discipline her also, to discipline her for that, because this is among the great evils. So if he disciplines her, it is his right, and her disobedience to him, so disciplining her is the right of Allah, which is the most important of the obligations, and the greatest of the duties after tawhid (the oneness of Allah), and it is prayer, a serious matter.
The presenter: May Allah reward you with good. His Eminence the Shaykh! What is your opinion regarding a gift at the beginning for someone like this?
The Shaykh: If her relative, or her husband, sees that giving her some money helps in that, he does it, there is no harm. And this is from the category of helping in good. If he gives her a gift, or her brother gives her, or her brother's son, or her sister gives her a gift of money, so that she may find guidance, this is good. This is from reconciling, from reconciling hearts.
The presenter: And Allah is the Helper, may Allah reward you with good.
His Eminence the Shaykh says, in another question: I have an aunt who has passed her third decade, but she does not pray, despite being kind in her dealings and good in her character. I have ordered her to pray, but she did not comply with my order. What is your guidance regarding her? And what is your guidance for her? May Allah reward you with good.
Answer:
It is obligatory for her to pray, because prayer is the pillar of Islam, and it is obligatory upon every Muslim man and woman, and it is the second pillar of the five pillars of Islam. Allah (Exalted and Majestic is He) said:
Maintain with care the [obligatory] prayers and [in particular] the middle prayer
حَافِظُوا عَلَى الصَّلَوَاتِ وَالصَّلاةِ الْوُسْطَىAnd establish prayer and give zakah and obey the Messenger - that you may receive mercy.
وَأَقِيمُوا الصَّلاةَ وَآتُوا الزَّكَاةَ وَأَطِيعُوا الرَّسُولَ لَعَلَّكُمْ تُرْحَمُونَCertainly will the believers have succeeded:
قَدْ أَفْلَحَ الْمُؤْمِنُونَ And those who are constant in their prayers
وَالَّذِينَ هُمْ عَلَى صَلَوَاتِهِمْ يُحَافِظُونَ And the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said:
The head of the matter is Islam, and its pillar is the Salat
رأس الأمر الإسلام، وعموده الصلاةThe covenant that distinguishes between us and them is prayer; so whoever leaves it, he has committed Kufr.
العهد الذي بيننا وبينهم الصلاة، فمن تركها؛ فقد كفرSo it is obligatory for her to pray the five prayers, and to maintain them in their times. And it is upon you to advise her constantly. And it is upon her father, her mother, her paternal uncles, her maternal uncles, and her brothers to advise her, and to strive in that, because this is the duty of everyone. And if she persists, then it is obligatory to discipline her by her father and her older brothers, even by beating her until she straightens out, until she prays, because whoever abandons prayer is asked to repent, and if he repents, otherwise he is killed, as a disbeliever—may Allah keep us safe—from among men and women.
So it is obligatory for her to obey the command of Allah, and to hasten to prayer. And it is upon her relatives to advise her. And it is upon her father, or her grandfather, or her older brothers to stand firm against her in that with truthfulness and strength, even by discipline and beating until she straightens out, until she prays.
And it is also recommended to boycott her if the boycott is beneficial. Boycott her: such as not speaking to her, not greeting her, and not visiting her. But the father, and the like of him, the boycott is not sufficient from him; rather, he must do what is obligatory of discipline and compulsion. Her father, and likewise her grandfather, and likewise her brother.
The point is: that it is upon the relatives to care for this matter, and to advise, because boycotting her may cause her to remain in her invalid state. But caring for her, and striving for her straightness, this is what is obligatory upon everyone, even by discipline and beating from her father, or her older brother, until she straightens out, until she prays. We ask Allah for guidance for us and for her.
The presenter: O Allah, amen. May Allah reward you with good. His Eminence the Shaykh! What is your guidance if this woman has a husband?
The Shaykh: If her husband is praying, it is not permissible for him to remain with her. He must separate from her, if she does not find guidance and does not repent; he must separate from her completely, until she repents. And he is able to discipline her also, to discipline her for that, because this is among the great evils. So if he disciplines her, it is his right, and her disobedience to him, so disciplining her is the right of Allah, which is the most important of the obligations, and the greatest of the duties after tawhid (the oneness of Allah), and it is prayer, a serious matter.
The presenter: May Allah reward you with good. His Eminence the Shaykh! What is your opinion regarding a gift at the beginning for someone like this?
The Shaykh: If her relative, or her husband, sees that giving her some money helps in that, he does it, there is no harm. And this is from the category of helping in good. If he gives her a gift, or her brother gives her, or her brother's son, or her sister gives her a gift of money, so that she may find guidance, this is good. This is from reconciling, from reconciling hearts.
The presenter: And Allah is the Helper, may Allah reward you with good.
Source
binbaz.org.sa
The Arabic text is copied verbatim from the original source, without any edits.