The Ruling on Attempting Suicide Due to the Guardian’s Refusal to Approve the Marriage

A lengthy letter was sent by one of our brothers from Iraq, whose name is Ali Husayn Muhsin al-'Amiri, from the city of al-Karamah in Wasit Province, Iraq. Our brother’s problem is as follows: He says, “I am a young man of twenty-three years old, married, and I have a child. During my work in one of the government departments, through daily interaction with people, I became attached to a young woman, and she was attached to me as well. The point is, I proposed to her family to marry her, but they refused on the grounds that I am already married and that I live in a rural area. I repeated the proposal more than once, but they did not agree to the marriage. When I became desperate, I decided to leave that young woman. In fact, I told her that we would separate because the situation had become extremely difficult, and it is impossible for me to divorce my first wife and leave my child, for I fear Allah. My brothers in faith: When she learned of this, she decided to commit suicide, and Allah knows this. In fact, she took poison and was taken to the hospital as a result. Then, after a week, the situation eased. I proposed a third time, but they did not agree, so she attempted suicide again and was taken to the hospital again. This pattern continued, Your Eminence, until he said at the end of the letter: What should I do about this problem? I want a solution that pleases Allah and His Messenger and the people. Is it permissible for me to marry her and run away with her? Or what should I do? Guide us to the Shari'ah path, may Allah reward you. It appears that the issue is connected to free mixing of men and women, Your Eminence?”
Answer: There is no doubt that suicide is a great crime and one of the major sins. The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said: , and Allah says: [al-Nisa: 29].
So, this young woman is forbidden from committing suicide. It is obligatory for her to be patient, to be content with what Allah has decreed for her, and to seek another husband.
As for the family, it is obligatory for them to look into the matter. The young woman’s family must look into the matter. If the man is good for marriage, they should marry her to him, even if he has a wife. Praise be to Allah, He has permitted the Muslim to have four wives. It is obligatory for the young woman’s family to fear Allah, to be mindful of Allah, and to marry her off if a suitable suitor proposes to her. Even if he has one wife, two, or three, and she would be the fourth, that does not harm. It was reported from him (peace and blessings be upon him) that he said: . So, it is prescribed for them to marry off the one who proposes to them if he is qualified for it, even if he has a wife, provided he is a pious Muslim. Allah the Exalted says: [al-Hujurat: 13].
The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) married Fatimah bint Qays, the Qurayshi woman, to Usamah ibn Zayd, who was a freed slave whom the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) had freed. He also married 'Abd al-Rahman ibn 'Awf, the Qurayshi from the Zuhri tribe, to Bilal ibn Rabah, the Abyssinian, his sister, the sister of 'Abd al-Rahman, who was a Qurayshi woman from the Zuhri tribe. So, the matter is broad in this regard, praise be to Allah. And Zayd ibn Harithah married Zaynab bint Jahsh, the daughter of the Prophet’s (peace and blessings be upon him) paternal aunt.
So, the matter is broad in this regard, praise be to Allah. The important thing is religion. If the woman desires him, she desires this, and he is known for his religion, then praise be to Allah. It is obligatory that they not drive her to suicide and to this great evil.
And it is obligatory for her to beware of suicide, to fear Allah, and to stay away from this great evil.
And as for you, O suitor! You must convince her, warn her of Allah, encourage her to do good, and tell her: No, if marriage is facilitated through the Shari'ah method, then praise be to Allah. Otherwise, it is obligatory for me and for you to obey Allah and His Messenger, and to beware of what Allah and His Messenger have forbidden, such as suicide and others. This is my advice to all her family; my advice to them is to marry her off. And my advice to you is also to convince her, to advise her, and to recommend to her goodness and patience until her family is convinced to marry her. And you must also advise her regarding suicide, that it is forbidden, a major sin, and one of the causes of entering the Fire. So, it is obligatory for her to beware of that. We ask Allah for guidance for everyone.
As for taking her by force and running away, that is an abomination and is not permissible. This is not permissible for you, nor for her. Rather, you both must observe the Shari'ah matters and beware of what Allah has forbidden for you both. And Allah is the One to be sought for help. Yes.
The presenter: May Allah reward you with good. This resulted from free mixing of men and women, as...?
The Shaykh: Free mixing of men and women has great evil. It is obligatory for the woman to stay away from free mixing with men, and it is obligatory for the man to stay away from free mixing with women. It is obligatory for the woman to cover herself, to stay away from the causes of fitnah (trial, discord or temptation). She must have covering and hijab (the covering prescribed for women), and not display her adornment. This is what is obligatory. Allah did not legislate this for us except for the benefit of everyone. For this reason, He the Exalted said: [al-Ahzab: 33]. If displaying one’s adornment did not harm everyone, He the Exalted would not have forbidden it. Displaying one’s adornment is showing off one’s beauty, showing off one’s adornment. So, it is obligatory for women to cover themselves, to wear hijab, and to stay away from interacting with men except with modesty, hijab, good speech, and a good manner that is far from fitnah. Likewise, the man must stay away from free mixing with women who are uncovered, naked, or nearly naked. He must stay away from that, and stay away from all causes of fitnah. He should fear Allah and be mindful of Him, the Exalted. We ask Allah for guidance for everyone.