Gentleness with Women and Patience with Them

Question:
Another says: I am married and I have two wives. I have encountered several family problems with the first wife. I tried by all means to fix all the things I was suffering from, but to no avail. I was blessed with four children from her. When I became desperate about everything, I was forced to marry another woman. I furnished an apartment with all the furniture the first wife needs and housed her there. I provide for her and her children with everything they need, except that I do not enter her apartment or sleep with her for the reasons mentioned previously?

Answer:
This woman should be shown compassion and mercy because of her precedence and because she is the mother of your children. Women are as the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him) said: Therefore, patience is necessary, and forgiveness of some things is necessary, and continuing the treatment is necessary. So continue, and do not despair. Continue the treatment. Perhaps, through this separation from her, she will return to her right mind. Perhaps she will realize her mistake and know her errors. So review the situation with her, meaning return to her, sleep with her, and be just between her and her co-wife in terms of division of time, financial maintenance, and demeanor, and the like. And seek help from Allah. Perhaps she will straighten out. If she does not straighten out, then at that time you are at your option: if you wish, divorce her, and if you wish, keep her with you if she is content with that. She remains with you on the condition of you providing for her, and she becomes a mahram (a relative one may not marry) to you if you enter her apartment. There is no harm for you.
But you do not have the right to abandon her in this manner of abandonment unless she agrees to it. As for if she says: No, divorce me, or be just between me and my co-wife; then you are at your option: either be just, or divorce. As for if she agrees and says: There is no harm, I am content. Do not divorce me. I am content to sit with my children according to your financial maintenance. Do not divorce me. And there is no harm in not dividing time with me, I am content; then there is no harm.
And Suda bint Zama, the Mother of the Believers (may Allah be pleased with her), the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) wanted to divorce her. So she said: O Messenger of Allah, do not divorce me, and keep me among your wives, and I will give my day to Aisha. So he (peace and blessings be upon him) agreed with her on that, and she gave her day to Aisha, and she remained on the account of his wives, and he did not divorce her, and he did not divide time with her.
So if this former wife agrees to remain with you without a division of time with her co-wife, and does not demand her divorce; then there is no blame on you. You provide for her and her children, and there is no need for division of time, and there is no objection to you entering her apartment during the day, or at some times. How are you? How are you? Perhaps Allah will make this entering a cause for goodness, love, and harmony thereafter. You enter her apartment, you visit them. How are you? Every day, every day, after a day, after two days, after three days, you visit her; because she is your mahram (a relative one may not marry). As long as she is your wife and you have not divorced her, you enter her apartment, you look after their conditions, you see your children, you sit with them for some time, you ask about their conditions, you bring them their needs, and sleeping with that one, and dividing time with her alone; there is no harm.
So if the first one says: No, I am not content with this at all. Rather, either you divide my right to me, or you divorce me; then one of the two matters is obligatory upon you: either the division, or the divorce. As for if she permits and says: Do not divorce me, and there is no harm; then there is no harm.