Finding an Alternative to Servants
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Question:
Marital and moral problems have become widespread for this reason. I am one of those who has faced a problem in this regard today. My wife is demanding that I bring a servant among my teenage sons, or that she go to her parents' house. What do you advise me to do?
Answer:
In the name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful. O Allah, send blessings and peace upon the Messenger of Allah. O Allah, guide us to what brings Your pleasure. O Allah, grant us beneficial knowledge, righteous deeds, and success in what benefits the Muslims.
There is no doubt that what our brother mentioned is a reality for many people. We cannot count the number of people who call us and say this and that; the incidents of this matter are countless, whether with men—the husbands—or with the sons, or with others. We also cannot count the number of people who complain about their wives, saying that they demand a servant. There is no doubt that this is a reality. However, I advise my brothers in this matter to strive to convince the woman, as much as possible, by every means available, so that she may perform the duties of the house. Even if he gives her some money, or signs a check for some amount, instead of bringing a servant who will harm him and harm her, he can give her five hundred riyals, or seven hundred riyals, or more, or less. He gives her something like that and says, "I will give you this and that every month, so perform the duty and be content with this instead of a servant who comes and harms us and does not benefit us." He should try with her through kind words and good guidance that she perform the duties of the house and be patient with the household work. There is no harm if he helps her. There is no objection to giving her a monthly salary instead of giving it to the servant. He can give her half of what he would give the servant, or a quarter of what he would give the servant, and perhaps she will be convinced by this.
The intended meaning: It is obligatory that he try with her by every means so that she is convinced by the work, is content with the work, and does not need a servant.
It is established in the authentic collections that the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) was visited by his daughter Fatimah (may Allah be pleased with her). She had heard that captives had been brought to her father, so she came to the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) and said, "O my father, I want a servant?" He said, "O my daughter, the people of the Soffah are poor and weak, and these captives will be sold and... among them, so I will not give you a servant and leave them with their bellies empty from hunger." He sent her back and taught her to say when going to sleep: "Subhan Allah" (Glory be to Allah), "Alhamdulillah" (Praise be to Allah), and "Allahu Akbar" (Allah is the Greatest) thirty-three times each. "Subhan Allah" thirty-three times, "Alhamdulillah" thirty-three times, and "Allahu Akbar" thirty-four times, making a total of one hundred.
In another wording: He also taught her to say:As-Sunan al-Kubra lil-Nasa'i 56:55 She said (may Allah be pleased with her): "I acted upon what he advised me regarding the remembrance, and I did not find any fatigue after that." She said, "I did it." This is established in the authentic collections—Sahih al-Bukhari and Sahih Muslim. She said: "I acted upon what he advised me, and I did not find any fatigue after that." Then, after a period of time, another group of captives was brought to him, so she came to him, and he gave her a servant (peace and blessings be upon him) after Allah made matters easy and the affairs of goodness expanded.
The intended meaning: The servant may cause harm, and the man and woman may do without her. They may do without her through good means. When the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) guided his daughter Fatimah to the remembrance at sleep, and he told her that it is better for her than a servant, she used this remembrance at sleep, and Allah made her independent of a servant for a long period. She would grind, sweep the house, grind the flour, and perform all the duties of the house with her husband Ali (may Allah be pleased with him and grant him satisfaction), and she was the daughter of the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him).
Therefore, the husband should guide the woman to the good and the great reward in bearing patience, and that she has a role model in the wives of the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) and in his daughters (peace and blessings be upon him) in patience with service and in doing without a servant; until Allah expands [their means], and until a good servant comes when the reasons for being convinced of her are present.
So the conclusion: He should guide her to the good, advise her, and help her with what he sees of money; so that she is convinced by that. And in case of necessity, he looks into the matter after that.
Marital and moral problems have become widespread for this reason. I am one of those who has faced a problem in this regard today. My wife is demanding that I bring a servant among my teenage sons, or that she go to her parents' house. What do you advise me to do?
Answer:
In the name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful. O Allah, send blessings and peace upon the Messenger of Allah. O Allah, guide us to what brings Your pleasure. O Allah, grant us beneficial knowledge, righteous deeds, and success in what benefits the Muslims.
There is no doubt that what our brother mentioned is a reality for many people. We cannot count the number of people who call us and say this and that; the incidents of this matter are countless, whether with men—the husbands—or with the sons, or with others. We also cannot count the number of people who complain about their wives, saying that they demand a servant. There is no doubt that this is a reality. However, I advise my brothers in this matter to strive to convince the woman, as much as possible, by every means available, so that she may perform the duties of the house. Even if he gives her some money, or signs a check for some amount, instead of bringing a servant who will harm him and harm her, he can give her five hundred riyals, or seven hundred riyals, or more, or less. He gives her something like that and says, "I will give you this and that every month, so perform the duty and be content with this instead of a servant who comes and harms us and does not benefit us." He should try with her through kind words and good guidance that she perform the duties of the house and be patient with the household work. There is no harm if he helps her. There is no objection to giving her a monthly salary instead of giving it to the servant. He can give her half of what he would give the servant, or a quarter of what he would give the servant, and perhaps she will be convinced by this.
The intended meaning: It is obligatory that he try with her by every means so that she is convinced by the work, is content with the work, and does not need a servant.
It is established in the authentic collections that the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) was visited by his daughter Fatimah (may Allah be pleased with her). She had heard that captives had been brought to her father, so she came to the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) and said, "O my father, I want a servant?" He said, "O my daughter, the people of the Soffah are poor and weak, and these captives will be sold and... among them, so I will not give you a servant and leave them with their bellies empty from hunger." He sent her back and taught her to say when going to sleep: "Subhan Allah" (Glory be to Allah), "Alhamdulillah" (Praise be to Allah), and "Allahu Akbar" (Allah is the Greatest) thirty-three times each. "Subhan Allah" thirty-three times, "Alhamdulillah" thirty-three times, and "Allahu Akbar" thirty-four times, making a total of one hundred.
In another wording: He also taught her to say:
O Allah, Lord of the seven heavens, and Lord of the earths, our Lord and Lord of everything, who splits the grain and the seed, and brings down the Torah, the Gospel, and the Qur'an, I seek refuge in You from the evil of everything You hold by its forelock. You are the First, so there is nothing before You, and You are the Last, so there is nothing after You, and You are the Manifest, so there is nothing above You, and You are the Hidden, so there is nothing beneath You. Settle our debt and enrich us from poverty.
اللهم رب السماوات السبع، ورب الأرضين، ربنا ورب كل شيء، فالق الحب والنوى، منزل التوراة، والإنجيل والقرآن، أعوذ بك من شر كل شيء أنت آخذ بناصيته، أنت الأول فليس قبلك شيء، وأنت الآخر فليس بعدك شيء، وأنت الظاهر فليس فوقك شيء، وأنت الباطن فليس دونك شيء، اقض عنا الدين، وأغننا من الفقرThe intended meaning: The servant may cause harm, and the man and woman may do without her. They may do without her through good means. When the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) guided his daughter Fatimah to the remembrance at sleep, and he told her that it is better for her than a servant, she used this remembrance at sleep, and Allah made her independent of a servant for a long period. She would grind, sweep the house, grind the flour, and perform all the duties of the house with her husband Ali (may Allah be pleased with him and grant him satisfaction), and she was the daughter of the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him).
Therefore, the husband should guide the woman to the good and the great reward in bearing patience, and that she has a role model in the wives of the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) and in his daughters (peace and blessings be upon him) in patience with service and in doing without a servant; until Allah expands [their means], and until a good servant comes when the reasons for being convinced of her are present.
So the conclusion: He should guide her to the good, advise her, and help her with what he sees of money; so that she is convinced by that. And in case of necessity, he looks into the matter after that.
Source
binbaz.org.sa
The Arabic text is copied verbatim from the original source, without any edits.