Is it the wife's right over her husband to have a maid brought for her?
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The questioner : May the honor of the Shaykh, peace be upon you and Allah's mercy and blessings.
The Shaykh : Peace be upon you and Allah's mercy and blessings.
The questioner : O Shaykh, the practice of hiring maids from outside the country has become widespread, and I find it very difficult to convince my wife to do without one. However, all my sisters and her sisters each have a maid or more. I ask you to clarify the following matters:
Is it the wife's right over the husband that he should bring her a maid to help her?
And what is the ruling of the Shari'ah in cases where the maid is in the house with the children, and the wife is not present, while he is with the maid and the children? Should the husband leave the house, or what should he do?
The Shaykh : As for the answer to the first question, it is not obligatory for the husband to bring a maid for his wife. Rather, the woman should serve her husband according to what has become customary and habitual: she serves him by washing the clothes, washing the dishes, cleaning the house, cooking the food, preparing the tea and coffee, and the like, because all of this is what has become customary. It is not obligatory for him to bring her a maid.
And bringing in maids has, in reality, caused many problems. How often we are asked about very serious faults and great, terrible matters that occur between the maid and the children sometimes, and between the maid and the one who hired her sometimes. Sometimes, may Allah protect us, a man commits fornication with this maid, leaving his wife whom Allah has made lawful for him, and committing fornication with one whom Allah has forbidden him. Their danger is great.
Then, O Glory be to Allah, how can a sane person be satisfied to have a woman who is unknown take charge of disciplining his children? She may not know their religion, nor the customs and traditions. The mother goes to work at the school or in study, or she grows old and becomes bedridden and sleeps in the house, leaving this maid with these children. They may turn out well, or they may not. The tenderness and affection of the mother for the children is lost, and the children lose the ability to attach themselves to their mother, become accustomed to her, and love her. Indeed, if a child were given the choice between his mother and the maid, he would choose the maid because he knows no one but her. I have even heard that a man took his daughter to the hospital with his wife and the maid. The doctor asked the man, "What is wrong with the girl? What did you find wrong with her?" He said, "By Allah, I do not know. Ask the mother. What is wrong with the girl, O mother?" She said, "By Allah, I do not know. Ask the maid." This is a reality, meaning you know that the maid knows about your children's illnesses, while you and your wife, their mother, do not know about their illnesses. Is this not one of the greatest causes for the severing of family ties and the estrangement between them? I do not know where our reason is before our faith, where is the faith, and where is the reason?
The Shaykh : Peace be upon you and Allah's mercy and blessings.
The questioner : O Shaykh, the practice of hiring maids from outside the country has become widespread, and I find it very difficult to convince my wife to do without one. However, all my sisters and her sisters each have a maid or more. I ask you to clarify the following matters:
Is it the wife's right over the husband that he should bring her a maid to help her?
And what is the ruling of the Shari'ah in cases where the maid is in the house with the children, and the wife is not present, while he is with the maid and the children? Should the husband leave the house, or what should he do?
The Shaykh : As for the answer to the first question, it is not obligatory for the husband to bring a maid for his wife. Rather, the woman should serve her husband according to what has become customary and habitual: she serves him by washing the clothes, washing the dishes, cleaning the house, cooking the food, preparing the tea and coffee, and the like, because all of this is what has become customary. It is not obligatory for him to bring her a maid.
And bringing in maids has, in reality, caused many problems. How often we are asked about very serious faults and great, terrible matters that occur between the maid and the children sometimes, and between the maid and the one who hired her sometimes. Sometimes, may Allah protect us, a man commits fornication with this maid, leaving his wife whom Allah has made lawful for him, and committing fornication with one whom Allah has forbidden him. Their danger is great.
Then, O Glory be to Allah, how can a sane person be satisfied to have a woman who is unknown take charge of disciplining his children? She may not know their religion, nor the customs and traditions. The mother goes to work at the school or in study, or she grows old and becomes bedridden and sleeps in the house, leaving this maid with these children. They may turn out well, or they may not. The tenderness and affection of the mother for the children is lost, and the children lose the ability to attach themselves to their mother, become accustomed to her, and love her. Indeed, if a child were given the choice between his mother and the maid, he would choose the maid because he knows no one but her. I have even heard that a man took his daughter to the hospital with his wife and the maid. The doctor asked the man, "What is wrong with the girl? What did you find wrong with her?" He said, "By Allah, I do not know. Ask the mother. What is wrong with the girl, O mother?" She said, "By Allah, I do not know. Ask the maid." This is a reality, meaning you know that the maid knows about your children's illnesses, while you and your wife, their mother, do not know about their illnesses. Is this not one of the greatest causes for the severing of family ties and the estrangement between them? I do not know where our reason is before our faith, where is the faith, and where is the reason?