The ruling on one who marries and wants to leave his parents
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Question:
A man who marries and leaves his parents: what is his ruling if his wife forces him to live alone in a house away from our parents, while we do not cut them off, but rather maintain ties with them whenever we are away from them for a short period? We ask for the evidence, and we thank you for your response, and we send you our greetings?
Answer:
If a son leaves his parents for reasons that necessitate it, with their permission and consent, there is no harm. If the parents permit him and allow him to leave, there is nothing wrong with this. The wife may not be compatible with them, or she may not get along with them. If they allow him to live alone in a house, there is no blame on him and no harm. This is not considered cutting off ties.
The discussion is only about the case where they do not permit it. This is the point of inquiry. If they do not allow him to leave, and the situation does not go well between him and them, this is the matter to consider. Does he cut them off? Does he disobey them? Does he divorce the woman? This is the point of consideration. However, if they permit him and allow him to leave, he owes nothing. But if they do not permit it, the person should look into the matter and reflect. If the woman has wronged them and has not been good in her companionship with them, then there is no good in her. She should be replaced and divorced, and Allah will give him something better than her [Al-Talaq:2].
As for the case where they are the ones who have wronged her, and she is good to them, and she is good in religion and character, and she fulfills their rights through service and otherwise, but they hate her for other reasons, this is a matter for consideration. One should not rush. He should strive to please them, speak kindly to them, and explain the woman's situation and his need for her, and that she has not wronged them and has only done good. Perhaps Allah will guide them, and they will refrain from forcing him to divorce her. He should not leave, nor rush to leave, but rather remain calm.
It appears that if she has not wronged them, he is not obligated to divorce her, because they are the ones who have wronged her and wronged him. However, he should be gentle with them, strive to be dutiful to them, be good to them, and be patient with any harm that may come from them until Allah relieves the situation. He should not rush to divorce, because a righteous woman is rarely found after that.
Question : And the woman claimed that she does not feel at ease living with her mother-in-law, and that he must establish a house for her outside the village?
Answer: This is a matter to be looked into. If they permit him, there is no problem. If they do not permit him and they are in need of him, let him divorce her and be patient with them until Allah brings a woman who will be patient with them.
As for the case where he cannot divorce her because he is poor, and if he divorces her he may become destitute, and he may suffer great harm from the lack of a wife and the inability to have a wife, let him seek their permission and not rush in matters.Sunan Abi Dawud 2625Sahih (Al-Albani).
Divorcing her, while she is upright, is not what is good if she is good in her religion and character, and has not wronged them, but the situation does not go well with them, either due to the stinginess of her parents, or the bad treatment of their other children, or their daughters, or otherwise.
If there are other reasons, he should not rush to divorce as long as the wife is righteous in herself. Or likewise, if he is unable to obtain another, he should not rush unless she is bad in herself, not upright, or not upright with them, but rather harms them. If she is not righteous in herself, or not righteous with them, harming them and being bad in her character with them, let him divorce her, and Allah will give him something better than her [Al-Talaq:2].
A man who marries and leaves his parents: what is his ruling if his wife forces him to live alone in a house away from our parents, while we do not cut them off, but rather maintain ties with them whenever we are away from them for a short period? We ask for the evidence, and we thank you for your response, and we send you our greetings?
Answer:
If a son leaves his parents for reasons that necessitate it, with their permission and consent, there is no harm. If the parents permit him and allow him to leave, there is nothing wrong with this. The wife may not be compatible with them, or she may not get along with them. If they allow him to live alone in a house, there is no blame on him and no harm. This is not considered cutting off ties.
The discussion is only about the case where they do not permit it. This is the point of inquiry. If they do not allow him to leave, and the situation does not go well between him and them, this is the matter to consider. Does he cut them off? Does he disobey them? Does he divorce the woman? This is the point of consideration. However, if they permit him and allow him to leave, he owes nothing. But if they do not permit it, the person should look into the matter and reflect. If the woman has wronged them and has not been good in her companionship with them, then there is no good in her. She should be replaced and divorced, and Allah will give him something better than her
And whoever fears Allah - He will make for him a way out
وَمَنْ يَتَّقِ اللَّهَ يَجْعَلْ لَهُ مَخْرَجًاAs for the case where they are the ones who have wronged her, and she is good to them, and she is good in religion and character, and she fulfills their rights through service and otherwise, but they hate her for other reasons, this is a matter for consideration. One should not rush. He should strive to please them, speak kindly to them, and explain the woman's situation and his need for her, and that she has not wronged them and has only done good. Perhaps Allah will guide them, and they will refrain from forcing him to divorce her. He should not leave, nor rush to leave, but rather remain calm.
It appears that if she has not wronged them, he is not obligated to divorce her, because they are the ones who have wronged her and wronged him. However, he should be gentle with them, strive to be dutiful to them, be good to them, and be patient with any harm that may come from them until Allah relieves the situation. He should not rush to divorce, because a righteous woman is rarely found after that.
Question : And the woman claimed that she does not feel at ease living with her mother-in-law, and that he must establish a house for her outside the village?
Answer: This is a matter to be looked into. If they permit him, there is no problem. If they do not permit him and they are in need of him, let him divorce her and be patient with them until Allah brings a woman who will be patient with them.
As for the case where he cannot divorce her because he is poor, and if he divorces her he may become destitute, and he may suffer great harm from the lack of a wife and the inability to have a wife, let him seek their permission and not rush in matters.
Obedience is in matters which are good and universally recognized.
إنما الطاعة في المعروفDivorcing her, while she is upright, is not what is good if she is good in her religion and character, and has not wronged them, but the situation does not go well with them, either due to the stinginess of her parents, or the bad treatment of their other children, or their daughters, or otherwise.
If there are other reasons, he should not rush to divorce as long as the wife is righteous in herself. Or likewise, if he is unable to obtain another, he should not rush unless she is bad in herself, not upright, or not upright with them, but rather harms them. If she is not righteous in herself, or not righteous with them, harming them and being bad in her character with them, let him divorce her, and Allah will give him something better than her
And whoever fears Allah - He will make for him a way out
وَمَنْ يَتَّقِ اللَّهَ يَجْعَلْ لَهُ مَخْرَجًا
Source
binbaz.org.sa
The Arabic text is copied verbatim from the original source, without any edits.
