My problem is that my heart is hard to the extent that when a relative of mine passes away, I do not cry and my eyes do not shed tears except after making efforts. Is this
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The questioner : You say, "My problem is that my heart is hard to the extent that when a relative of mine passes away, I do not cry and my eyes do not shed tears, except after making efforts. Does this hardness prevent the acceptance of my prayer, fasting, and other deeds? Is this a deficiency in my faith? And if I give charity to the poor, will this charity remove this hardness from my heart?"
The Shaykh : Some people have a hard heart, and their heart is not soft. You find that he does not become humble, even if he is struck by the greatest of calamities, may Allah grant us safety. His heart is petrified like stones or even harder.
And among the causes of softening the heart is reading the Noble Qur'an, for it softens the heart when a person reads it with reflection and contemplation. This is evidenced by the saying of Allah the Exalted:[Al-Hashr 59:21], and this is while it is a mountain of gravel.
And Ibn 'Abd al-Qawi (may Allah have mercy on him) says in his famous poem:
"And guard the recitation of the Qur'an, for it... softens a hard heart like a rock".
And among that, meaning among what softens the heart, is reading the Prophetic biography, upon him be the best of peace and the most complete of greetings, the most complete of greetings for a created being. For reading the biography has a wonderful effect on the heart, because a person remembers and feels as if he is with the Companions, so his heart softens.
And among them, meaning among the causes of softening the heart, is showing mercy to children and being gentle with them, for that softens the heart and has a wonderful effect. For this reason, the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him and his family) said:Jami` at-Tirmidhi 1924Hasan (Darussalam).
And among the causes of softening the heart is listening to sermons and poems that revive the heart. Therefore, you find that when a man hears a moving poem, his heart becomes humble and his eye sheds tears.
And among the causes of softening the heart is being present in the heart during prayer, for that is among the causes of humility and softening of the heart. We ask Allah the Exalted to soften our hearts for His remembrance, and to protect us from the hardness of the heart.
The Shaykh : Some people have a hard heart, and their heart is not soft. You find that he does not become humble, even if he is struck by the greatest of calamities, may Allah grant us safety. His heart is petrified like stones or even harder.
And among the causes of softening the heart is reading the Noble Qur'an, for it softens the heart when a person reads it with reflection and contemplation. This is evidenced by the saying of Allah the Exalted:
If We had sent down this Qur'an upon a mountain, you would have seen it humbled and coming apart from fear of Allah
لو أنزلنا هذا القرآن على جبل لرأيته خاشعا متصدعا من خشية اللهAnd Ibn 'Abd al-Qawi (may Allah have mercy on him) says in his famous poem:
"And guard the recitation of the Qur'an, for it... softens a hard heart like a rock".
And among that, meaning among what softens the heart, is reading the Prophetic biography, upon him be the best of peace and the most complete of greetings, the most complete of greetings for a created being. For reading the biography has a wonderful effect on the heart, because a person remembers and feels as if he is with the Companions, so his heart softens.
And among them, meaning among the causes of softening the heart, is showing mercy to children and being gentle with them, for that softens the heart and has a wonderful effect. For this reason, the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him and his family) said:
Be merciful on the earth, and you will be shown mercy from Who is above the heavens.
ارحموا من في الأرض يرحمكم من في السماءAnd among the causes of softening the heart is listening to sermons and poems that revive the heart. Therefore, you find that when a man hears a moving poem, his heart becomes humble and his eye sheds tears.
And among the causes of softening the heart is being present in the heart during prayer, for that is among the causes of humility and softening of the heart. We ask Allah the Exalted to soften our hearts for His remembrance, and to protect us from the hardness of the heart.