A man afflicted with a skin disease in hidden parts of his body proposed to a woman and did not inform her of his illness for fear that they would not accept him, considering the appearance of this

The questioner : Allah the Exalted afflicted me with vitiligo, but He was merciful to me by making most of its appearance on the skin in hidden parts of my body. This disease began to appear when I was twenty years old. I sought treatment, but Allah has not yet granted me healing for a wisdom known to Him, Glorified is He. Fifteen years later, I proposed for marriage. At that time, there were three noticeable spots on the back of my right hand, in addition to others in hidden parts of the rest of my body. During the courtship period, which lasted six months, I did not wish to be frank with my fiancée or her family about any of this disease, fearing that they would withdraw from accepting me. I considered that its appearance on my right hand and their seeing it throughout the courtship period indicated to them the possibility of its presence in other parts of my body. The marriage took place on that basis. However, when I moved into the marital home and my wife saw the disease on my body, she was distressed by it. She rebelled violently and considered that I had deceived her due to my lack of disclosure. She was constantly plagued by the feeling that she had suffered regret and loss in this marriage contract. I bear witness that I met her rebellion at that time with harshness and severity at times, and with beating at other times. However, she did not ask me for a divorce. After years of living with me reluctantly, she eventually became accustomed to what Allah had decreed for me and submitted to the reality of the situation. Now, I have fathered three children, and thirteen years have passed since our marriage. But I am often plagued by intense regret that the marriage took place in this manner, to the extent that I wished she had asked me for a divorce so that I would not be unjust to her. Was I unjust to her by not being frank about what was on my body, despite the disease itself appearing on my hand during the courtship period? And is my marriage in this form valid, or is there something else I am required to do now?

The Shaykh : There is no doubt that your failure to disclose to her the illness you suffered from, or what was hidden of the illness, is undoubtedly deception and fraud. As for the spot seen on your right hand, we do not know whether it is a clear, obvious sign indicating this disease, or whether it is a small, hidden spot that does not indicate the disease, or whether it is in a form that is thought to be a burn mark or something similar. The bottom line is that the complete advice is that you clarified to her and her family what was hidden from them in this matter. As for how you treated her after that, you have sinned by it. But the right belongs to her alone. Now, you have nothing to do but ask her for forgiveness for the past concealment of this defect in you and for the harshness you showed toward her. If she forgives that and permits it—and we hope that she will forgive and listen—then that is a great good, due to the saying of Allah the Exalted: And He said, describing the people of Paradise: So forgiveness with reform is better, and it carries a great reward with Allah, Glorified and Exalted is He. My advice to you is to seek release from your wife and to ask her for forgiveness. My advice to her is to forgive you, because she is the mother of your children, and life between you is now a partnership. We ask Allah the Exalted to accept the repentance of everyone.

The questioner : Yes.