Severance between siblings
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Fatwa number ( 7126 )
Q: There are many verses in the Noble Qur'an, as well as in the noble Prophetic hadiths, that encourage maintaining family ties. I have a full sister who is facing complete severance from some of her siblings, including the author of this letter,
for reasons including the fact that she is married to a man about whom Allah knows more than I do; he may be a good person, or he may not be. The point is that from the very beginning, all her siblings were not pleased with this man or with the marriage at all, although the mother agreed. So she made the marriage happen despite the noses that refused it, and this caused enmity and hatred to arise between the siblings and the unwanted husband. I have a brother whom I do not praise before Allah, who has good character and religion and holds firmly to his religion, and he is a successful person in his religion and his worldly affairs. Once, this brother of mine drove the husband out of our home because his visits were almost daily and his stay would extend until after midnight, and he was, of course, an unwanted guest. So the husband went to the police station with my sister, who was in a state of extreme tabarruj (display of adornment), and my brother was summoned. They accused him of driving them out of the house, and the husband specifically accused him of other things falsely and falsely. The matter was settled on the condition that the husband refused to enter the house again, and my sister did not come to the house for a long time out of shame for what they had done. After one month from this unfortunate incident, my brother was arrested for 8 months. Allah knows why? The point is that about two years have passed on this matter, and my brother came out of prison, and Allah made it easy for him to travel abroad. My sister comes to our house to visit our mother, and I do not give her any attention and I cannot look at her face, in disgust and revulsion because of her shameful positions that began with the start of her engagement until
today... And I sometimes think about maintaining family ties, but I withdraw and I remember the saying of Allah, which means: that we do not love those who oppose Allah and His Messenger. So is my sister, with her position, among those who oppose Allah and His Messenger? Also, my brother sent me a letter reminding me that I must not love my sister because her marriage is considered (zina). Perhaps his saying this is because the marriage was done without the consent of her siblings? Since the writing of the contract was done after the death of the father. Also, it happened that the husband divorced her before entering with her, then took her back before about a month had passed, in the presence of the mu'adhdhin (officiant) and only one witness and the presence of the mother. Is this permissible? And if I am thinking about maintaining my family ties - and I ask Allah for truthfulness to make my whole work sincere for His noble Face - if my sister is in a state of tabarruj - is it permissible for me to please Allah in her while she angers Allah by her action? I am sorry if I cannot present the matter in a good way, but I ask for your excuse, for we are living in a terrible tearing and loss and family disintegration, not because of my sister or because of me or because of my brother, but I believe, and Allah knows best, that this is the cause of the mother and the father. Allah is sufficient for us and He is the best Disposer of affairs. So I am very, very, very angry with my mother, because she behaves in ways that create problems, so she is the origin and the basis of this marriage, and she was forced to oppose her dearest children and her dearest neighbors and her dearest loved ones for the sake of this husband, and if only she had acquired him, but rather he caused her son to enter prison. My honorable Shaykh: I am sorry if I have prolonged on you, but I ask
about one thing, which is: Is it permissible to maintain family ties while my sister is in such circumstances and conditions?
A : It is obligatory for you to reconcile among yourselves, with striving to give advice to your mother, your sister, and her husband, and advising each other to truth and patience, to please Allah and to fulfill the right of kinship. Allah the Exalted said:[Al-Anfal 8:1] And He said: [An-Nisa 4:114] And He said: [Al-'Asr 103:1-3] And He said: [An-Nisa 4:36] the verse, and He said: [Al-Isra 17:23] the verses, up to His saying the Exalted: and other verses, and what is established from the saying of the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him): Sunan an-Nasa'i 4197Sahih (Darussalam) . And beware of severance, for the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) warned against it and said: Sahih al-Bukhari 5988 narrated by al-Bukhari, and he said (peace and blessings be upon him): Sahih Muslim 2555 narrated by Muslim. If they respond, then praise be to Allah for guidance and the gathering of the family, and if they refuse except to persist in their error, then treat them in this world with kindness while continuing to give advice, due to the aforementioned verses and hadiths. And success is from Allah, and may Allah send prayers and blessings upon our Prophet Muhammad and his family and his companions.
Q: There are many verses in the Noble Qur'an, as well as in the noble Prophetic hadiths, that encourage maintaining family ties. I have a full sister who is facing complete severance from some of her siblings, including the author of this letter,
for reasons including the fact that she is married to a man about whom Allah knows more than I do; he may be a good person, or he may not be. The point is that from the very beginning, all her siblings were not pleased with this man or with the marriage at all, although the mother agreed. So she made the marriage happen despite the noses that refused it, and this caused enmity and hatred to arise between the siblings and the unwanted husband. I have a brother whom I do not praise before Allah, who has good character and religion and holds firmly to his religion, and he is a successful person in his religion and his worldly affairs. Once, this brother of mine drove the husband out of our home because his visits were almost daily and his stay would extend until after midnight, and he was, of course, an unwanted guest. So the husband went to the police station with my sister, who was in a state of extreme tabarruj (display of adornment), and my brother was summoned. They accused him of driving them out of the house, and the husband specifically accused him of other things falsely and falsely. The matter was settled on the condition that the husband refused to enter the house again, and my sister did not come to the house for a long time out of shame for what they had done. After one month from this unfortunate incident, my brother was arrested for 8 months. Allah knows why? The point is that about two years have passed on this matter, and my brother came out of prison, and Allah made it easy for him to travel abroad. My sister comes to our house to visit our mother, and I do not give her any attention and I cannot look at her face, in disgust and revulsion because of her shameful positions that began with the start of her engagement until
today... And I sometimes think about maintaining family ties, but I withdraw and I remember the saying of Allah, which means: that we do not love those who oppose Allah and His Messenger. So is my sister, with her position, among those who oppose Allah and His Messenger? Also, my brother sent me a letter reminding me that I must not love my sister because her marriage is considered (zina). Perhaps his saying this is because the marriage was done without the consent of her siblings? Since the writing of the contract was done after the death of the father. Also, it happened that the husband divorced her before entering with her, then took her back before about a month had passed, in the presence of the mu'adhdhin (officiant) and only one witness and the presence of the mother. Is this permissible? And if I am thinking about maintaining my family ties - and I ask Allah for truthfulness to make my whole work sincere for His noble Face - if my sister is in a state of tabarruj - is it permissible for me to please Allah in her while she angers Allah by her action? I am sorry if I cannot present the matter in a good way, but I ask for your excuse, for we are living in a terrible tearing and loss and family disintegration, not because of my sister or because of me or because of my brother, but I believe, and Allah knows best, that this is the cause of the mother and the father. Allah is sufficient for us and He is the best Disposer of affairs. So I am very, very, very angry with my mother, because she behaves in ways that create problems, so she is the origin and the basis of this marriage, and she was forced to oppose her dearest children and her dearest neighbors and her dearest loved ones for the sake of this husband, and if only she had acquired him, but rather he caused her son to enter prison. My honorable Shaykh: I am sorry if I have prolonged on you, but I ask
about one thing, which is: Is it permissible to maintain family ties while my sister is in such circumstances and conditions?
A : It is obligatory for you to reconcile among yourselves, with striving to give advice to your mother, your sister, and her husband, and advising each other to truth and patience, to please Allah and to fulfill the right of kinship. Allah the Exalted said:
So fear Allah and amend that which is between you and obey Allah and His Messenger, if you should be believers.
فَاتَّقُوا اللَّهَ وَأَصْلِحُوا ذَاتَ بَيْنِكُمْ وَأَطِيعُوا اللَّهَ وَرَسُولَهُ إِنْ كُنْتُمْ مُؤْمِنِينَNo good is there in much of their private conversation, except for those who enjoin charity or that which is right or conciliation between people. And whoever does that seeking means to the approval of Allah - then We are going to give him a great reward.
لاَ خَيْرَ فِي كَثِيرٍ مِنْ نَجْوَاهُمْ إِلا مَنْ أَمَرَ بِصَدَقَةٍ أَوْ مَعْرُوفٍ أَوْ إِصْلاحٍ بَيْنَ النَّاسِ وَمَنْ يَفْعَلْ ذَلِكَ ابْتِغَاءَ مَرْضَاةِ اللَّهِ فَسَوْفَ نُؤْتِيهِ أَجْرًا عَظِيمًا(1) By time, (2) Indeed, mankind is in loss, (3) Except for those who have believed and done righteous deeds and advised each other to truth and advised each other to patience.
وَالْعَصْرِ (1) إِنَّ الْإِنْسَانَ لَفِي خُسْرٍ (2) إِلا الَّذِينَ آمَنُوا وَعَمِلُوا الصَّالِحَاتِ وَتَوَاصَوْا بِالْحَقِّ وَتَوَاصَوْا بِالصَّبْرِWorship Allah and associate nothing with Him, and to parents do good, and to relatives
وَاعْبُدُوا اللَّهَ وَلاَ تُشْرِكُوا بِهِ شَيْئًا وَبِالْوَالِدَيْنِ إِحْسَانًا وَبِذِي الْقُرْبَىAnd your Lord has decreed that you not worship except Him, and to parents, good treatment
وَقَضَى رَبُّكَ أَلا تَعْبُدُوا إِلا إِيَّاهُ وَبِالْوَالِدَيْنِ إِحْسَانًاGive to the near relative his right
فَآتِ ذَا الْقُرْبَى حَقَّهُReligion is sincerity (An-Nasihah).' They said: 'To whom, O Messenger of Allah?' he said: 'To Allah, to His Book, to His Messenger, to the imams of the Muslims, and to their common folk
الدين النصيحة. قلنا: لمن يـا رسـول الله؟ قال: لله ولكتابه ورسوله ولأئمة المسلمين وعامتهمThe word 'Ar-Rahm (womb) derives its name from Ar-Rahman (i.e., one of the names of Allah) and Allah said: 'I will keep good relation with the one who will keep good relation with you, (womb i.e. Kith and Kin) and sever the relation with him who will sever the relation with you, (womb, i.e. Kith and Kin).
إن الرحم شجنة من الرحمن، فقال الله: من وصلك وصلته، ومن قطعك قطعتهThe tie of kinship is suspended to the Throne and says: He who unites me Allah would unite him and he who severed me Allah would sever him.
الرحم معلقة بالعرش تقول: من وصلني وصله الله ومن قطعني قطعه الله
Source
www.alifta.gov.sa
The Arabic text is copied verbatim from the original source, without any edits.