Severing family ties for the sake of a worldly matter
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The fourth question of Fatwa No. ( 17790 )
Q4: We are brothers. Our father passed away, and our mother raised us with good upbringing, praise be to Allah. One of my younger brothers was studying outside the city of Riyadh . Four years ago, he married a divorced woman who has four children from her previous husband. He married her without our knowledge. When we learned of the news from an unknown source on his wife’s side, we asked him to clarify the news, but he denied it vehemently. After he impregnated her, he informed us of his marriage. We held it against him that he did not consult anyone in the family and did not inform our mother of his intention to marry, which caused her a painful wound that she is still suffering from to this day. He brought her to us and introduced her to the family, and they consoled him reluctantly, with resentment and sadness. However, I could not bear this wound, or rather this calamity. He is now the father of three children, and I see (and this is my opinion) looks of schadenfreude in his wife’s eyes, how she was able to marry him without our knowledge.
My question: Out of my aversion to severing family ties , does sin attach to me for cutting off this brother, not entering his house, and not meeting his wife? Or should I force myself to meet her while I hate meeting her? Knowing that my mother forgave him for his action and pardoned him after she wept with intense pain and grief, and he still prefers his wife over her and stays away from visiting her for weeks.
A : Your brother’s marriage without informing you has no religious objection and does not affect the validity of his marriage, but by doing so, he abandoned what is right and manliness. His denial of the marriage, despite it having taken place, is a lie on his part, and lying is forbidden, and a severe warning has been reported regarding it. All of this does not justify you cutting off ties with or boycotting your brother; rather, it is obligatory for you to maintain ties with him. And in your overlooking what you see of his behavior that he did wrong in toward you, there is good for you and for him. And success is from Allah, and may Allah send prayers and blessings upon our Prophet Muhammad, his family, and his Companions.
Q4: We are brothers. Our father passed away, and our mother raised us with good upbringing, praise be to Allah. One of my younger brothers was studying outside the city of Riyadh . Four years ago, he married a divorced woman who has four children from her previous husband. He married her without our knowledge. When we learned of the news from an unknown source on his wife’s side, we asked him to clarify the news, but he denied it vehemently. After he impregnated her, he informed us of his marriage. We held it against him that he did not consult anyone in the family and did not inform our mother of his intention to marry, which caused her a painful wound that she is still suffering from to this day. He brought her to us and introduced her to the family, and they consoled him reluctantly, with resentment and sadness. However, I could not bear this wound, or rather this calamity. He is now the father of three children, and I see (and this is my opinion) looks of schadenfreude in his wife’s eyes, how she was able to marry him without our knowledge.
My question: Out of my aversion to severing family ties , does sin attach to me for cutting off this brother, not entering his house, and not meeting his wife? Or should I force myself to meet her while I hate meeting her? Knowing that my mother forgave him for his action and pardoned him after she wept with intense pain and grief, and he still prefers his wife over her and stays away from visiting her for weeks.
A : Your brother’s marriage without informing you has no religious objection and does not affect the validity of his marriage, but by doing so, he abandoned what is right and manliness. His denial of the marriage, despite it having taken place, is a lie on his part, and lying is forbidden, and a severe warning has been reported regarding it. All of this does not justify you cutting off ties with or boycotting your brother; rather, it is obligatory for you to maintain ties with him. And in your overlooking what you see of his behavior that he did wrong in toward you, there is good for you and for him. And success is from Allah, and may Allah send prayers and blessings upon our Prophet Muhammad, his family, and his Companions.
Source
www.alifta.gov.sa
The Arabic text is copied verbatim from the original source, without any edits.