Maintaining family ties with those among one's relatives who have wronged others
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Fatwa number ( 11235 )
Q: I have two wives of my brothers. One of them has been estranged from us for three years—my sisters, my mother, and I—due to her hatred of us, the talebearing she does behind our backs in front of her husband, my brother, and the mischief she causes when she comes to visit, despite the fact that she is my aunt’s daughter. She lives in one city and we live in another, and we did not see each other except on special occasions before the estrangement and severance between us. However, after we cut ties, we have not seen her and she has not seen us, to the point that when we visit the city where she lives with my brother, we do not visit them, but we see my brother at the home of my third brother. The reason for not visiting them, in addition to her previous wrongdoings, is that she does not respect our mother and father. The problem is that my brother listens to everything she says. We have tolerated her several times and said, “We are the children of today, and this will not happen again,” but then she returns to talebearing and backbiting. Now: Is there a sin on us for cutting ties with her and leaving her, considering it a thing of the past and forgetting it, or what, O honorable Shaykh? Please rule on this for us, as we are confused by this matter. We do not desire severance, but what drives us to cut ties with her is only what was mentioned above, and the failure to resolve it is that she caused my mother to cut ties with my third brother’s wife. When we confronted her with the truth, she denied it, and my brother’s wife admitted to her what had happened from her. The other one has been estranged from us
for about a year and a half; due to a small problem between her and my father, who passed away (may Allah have mercy on him) while angry with her. Since the problem occurred, she cut ties with the entire household. She used to live and reside with us in the same house, but after a period, she wanted to start the fire again, and she cursed my mother, my father, me, my brothers, and my sisters, and we did not remain silent about this matter. However, she went too far and attacked our honor by saying, “O whores.” Allah knows that we did not respond to her when she said this, and we did not speak after hearing this vile word from her. There is no doubt that she is lying, and unfortunately, she is a relative of ours. This is not all; she also curses us to my brother until his heart became black toward us. She is now trying to reconcile with us so that she can do whatever she pleases to cause corruption. Since her husband, my brother, has married another woman with her, and our relationship with the other woman is excellent, to the point that she quarreled with her in an attempt to keep her away from us. She is now trying to befriend us in order to corrupt what has been repaired. Finally, is there a sin on us for not reconciling? Knowing that we have ended up in reconciliation several times and then quarreled over something greater than the first, especially regarding what happened from her most recently.
A : Maintaining family ties is obligatory, and severing them is forbidden. It is obligatory for you to reconcile and forgive what has passed. However, if it is likely that harm will occur from your brother’s wife mentioned above, there is no harm in boycotting her;
in order to avert the harm and achieve the benefit. And success is from Allah, and may Allah send prayers and blessings upon our Prophet Muhammad, his family, and his Companions.
Q: I have two wives of my brothers. One of them has been estranged from us for three years—my sisters, my mother, and I—due to her hatred of us, the talebearing she does behind our backs in front of her husband, my brother, and the mischief she causes when she comes to visit, despite the fact that she is my aunt’s daughter. She lives in one city and we live in another, and we did not see each other except on special occasions before the estrangement and severance between us. However, after we cut ties, we have not seen her and she has not seen us, to the point that when we visit the city where she lives with my brother, we do not visit them, but we see my brother at the home of my third brother. The reason for not visiting them, in addition to her previous wrongdoings, is that she does not respect our mother and father. The problem is that my brother listens to everything she says. We have tolerated her several times and said, “We are the children of today, and this will not happen again,” but then she returns to talebearing and backbiting. Now: Is there a sin on us for cutting ties with her and leaving her, considering it a thing of the past and forgetting it, or what, O honorable Shaykh? Please rule on this for us, as we are confused by this matter. We do not desire severance, but what drives us to cut ties with her is only what was mentioned above, and the failure to resolve it is that she caused my mother to cut ties with my third brother’s wife. When we confronted her with the truth, she denied it, and my brother’s wife admitted to her what had happened from her. The other one has been estranged from us
for about a year and a half; due to a small problem between her and my father, who passed away (may Allah have mercy on him) while angry with her. Since the problem occurred, she cut ties with the entire household. She used to live and reside with us in the same house, but after a period, she wanted to start the fire again, and she cursed my mother, my father, me, my brothers, and my sisters, and we did not remain silent about this matter. However, she went too far and attacked our honor by saying, “O whores.” Allah knows that we did not respond to her when she said this, and we did not speak after hearing this vile word from her. There is no doubt that she is lying, and unfortunately, she is a relative of ours. This is not all; she also curses us to my brother until his heart became black toward us. She is now trying to reconcile with us so that she can do whatever she pleases to cause corruption. Since her husband, my brother, has married another woman with her, and our relationship with the other woman is excellent, to the point that she quarreled with her in an attempt to keep her away from us. She is now trying to befriend us in order to corrupt what has been repaired. Finally, is there a sin on us for not reconciling? Knowing that we have ended up in reconciliation several times and then quarreled over something greater than the first, especially regarding what happened from her most recently.
A : Maintaining family ties is obligatory, and severing them is forbidden. It is obligatory for you to reconcile and forgive what has passed. However, if it is likely that harm will occur from your brother’s wife mentioned above, there is no harm in boycotting her;
in order to avert the harm and achieve the benefit. And success is from Allah, and may Allah send prayers and blessings upon our Prophet Muhammad, his family, and his Companions.
Source
www.alifta.gov.sa
The Arabic text is copied verbatim from the original source, without any edits.