When I sit with a group of friends in a restaurant and one of them gets up to pay the bill, I insist upon Allah that he not pay, but he does not care about my oath
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The questioner : When I sit with a group of friends in a restaurant and I want to pay the bill, one of them gets up to pay it. But I swear that I will pay the bill and say, "By Allah, you will not pay," yet he pays without caring about the oath. Is this permissible? And is my oath considered an oath for which I owe expiation? Please inform us of this, and may you be rewarded.
The Shaykh : The answer is, first: I advise this questioner and others to refrain from swearing oaths upon others to do something or to leave it, because such an oath causes embarrassment for them or for those upon whom the oath was sworn. As for it being embarrassing for them, it is because if the one upon whom the oath was sworn violates it, he owes expiation. As for it being embarrassing for those upon whom the oath was sworn, it is because they may do it despite difficulty, and perhaps despite difficulty and harm, out of consideration for the one who swore the oath. In that lies embarrassment and burden. As for the expiation, if a person swears to do something for himself or for someone else, or to leave it, he either couples his oath with the will, meaning the will of Allah, and says, "By Allah, if Allah wills, you will certainly do such-and-such" or "I will certainly do such-and-such," or he does not couple it with the will. If he couples his oath with the will, he does not break the oath and owes no expiation, even if the one upon whom the oath was sworn fails to do it. If he does not couple it with the will, he breaks the oath if he leaves what he swore to do or does what he swore to leave. What a person should do when he swears to something, whether it is his own action or the action of another, is to say "if Allah wills," for in saying "if Allah wills" there are two great benefits. The first is that it is a cause for facilitating what he swore to. The second is that if he breaks his oath and does not do what he swore to, or does what he swore to leave, he owes no expiation. The evidence for this is that the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) reported about the Prophet of Allah, Sulayman ibn Dawud (peace be upon them both), that he swore to go around ninety women, meaning to have intercourse with them, so that each one of them would give birth to a boy who would fight in the cause of Allah. It was said to him, "Say, 'if Allah wills,'" but he did not say it, relying on the determination in himself. So he went around ninety women and had intercourse with them, and not one of them gave birth except one who gave birth to half a human being. The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said:Sunan an-Nasa'i 3856Sahih (Darussalam) And it is established from the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) that he said: Jami` at-Tirmidhi 1532Sahih (Darussalam) Therefore, it is incumbent upon the one who swears, when he swears to something, to couple his oath with the will and say, "By Allah, if Allah wills."
As for the questioner's question regarding the one who swore upon his companion not to charge the restaurant owner, but he charged him, it is obligatory for him to pay the expiation for an oath, because his companion did not fulfill his oath. The expiation for an oath is feeding ten poor people, or clothing them, or freeing a slave. If he does not find the means to do so, he fasts three consecutive days.
Feeding has two methods: either he prepares food for lunch or dinner and invites the ten poor people to eat until they are full, or he distributes food to the ten. The amount is six kilograms of rice. If he finds a house with ten people and gives them this amount of rice and adds a side dish of meat or something else, that is sufficient for the feeding. If he does not find the means, because he has nothing to feed them with, or he does not find anyone to feed or clothe them because the town is a wealthy one, then in this case he fasts three consecutive days.
The Shaykh : The answer is, first: I advise this questioner and others to refrain from swearing oaths upon others to do something or to leave it, because such an oath causes embarrassment for them or for those upon whom the oath was sworn. As for it being embarrassing for them, it is because if the one upon whom the oath was sworn violates it, he owes expiation. As for it being embarrassing for those upon whom the oath was sworn, it is because they may do it despite difficulty, and perhaps despite difficulty and harm, out of consideration for the one who swore the oath. In that lies embarrassment and burden. As for the expiation, if a person swears to do something for himself or for someone else, or to leave it, he either couples his oath with the will, meaning the will of Allah, and says, "By Allah, if Allah wills, you will certainly do such-and-such" or "I will certainly do such-and-such," or he does not couple it with the will. If he couples his oath with the will, he does not break the oath and owes no expiation, even if the one upon whom the oath was sworn fails to do it. If he does not couple it with the will, he breaks the oath if he leaves what he swore to do or does what he swore to leave. What a person should do when he swears to something, whether it is his own action or the action of another, is to say "if Allah wills," for in saying "if Allah wills" there are two great benefits. The first is that it is a cause for facilitating what he swore to. The second is that if he breaks his oath and does not do what he swore to, or does what he swore to leave, he owes no expiation. The evidence for this is that the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) reported about the Prophet of Allah, Sulayman ibn Dawud (peace be upon them both), that he swore to go around ninety women, meaning to have intercourse with them, so that each one of them would give birth to a boy who would fight in the cause of Allah. It was said to him, "Say, 'if Allah wills,'" but he did not say it, relying on the determination in himself. So he went around ninety women and had intercourse with them, and not one of them gave birth except one who gave birth to half a human being. The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said:
If he had said: 'If Allah wills,' he would not have broken his vow, and this would have been a means to help him to get what he wanted.
لو قال: إن شاء الله لم يحنث، وكان دركاً لحاجتهWhoever swears [about an oath] and says: 'If Allah wills (Insha Allah), then he will not have broken it.
من حلف على يمين فقال: إن شاء الله لم يحنثAs for the questioner's question regarding the one who swore upon his companion not to charge the restaurant owner, but he charged him, it is obligatory for him to pay the expiation for an oath, because his companion did not fulfill his oath. The expiation for an oath is feeding ten poor people, or clothing them, or freeing a slave. If he does not find the means to do so, he fasts three consecutive days.
Feeding has two methods: either he prepares food for lunch or dinner and invites the ten poor people to eat until they are full, or he distributes food to the ten. The amount is six kilograms of rice. If he finds a house with ten people and gives them this amount of rice and adds a side dish of meat or something else, that is sufficient for the feeding. If he does not find the means, because he has nothing to feed them with, or he does not find anyone to feed or clothe them because the town is a wealthy one, then in this case he fasts three consecutive days.