Explanation of the hadith of Hudhayfah ibn al-Yaman (may Allah be pleased with him): (My father offered his sister to Salman, but he refused—meaning Salman—and married a slave woman of his named Buqayrah)

The Shaykh: He narrated here with a hasan chain from 'Amr ibn Abu Qirrah al-Kindi, who said: My father offered his sister to Salman, but he refused—meaning Salman. And he married a slave woman of his named Buqayrah. Then it reached Abu Qirrah that there had been something between Hudhayfah and Salman, so he went to him seeking him, and he was informed that he was in his vegetable garden, so he headed toward him. He met him with a basket on his shoulder containing greens, having put his stick in the handle of the basket, which was on his shoulder. He said: "O Abu 'Abd al-Allah, what was between you and Hudhayfah?" He said: "Salman says: ." So they went until they reached Salman's house. Salman entered the house and said: "Peace be upon you." Then he gave permission to Abu Qirrah to enter. There was a mat laid out at the door, and at its head were some clay pots and a water jar. He said: "Sit on the bed of your mistress who prepares it for herself." Then he began to tell him: "Indeed, Hudhayfah used to narrate things that the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him) used to say in his anger at certain people, and I was brought to and asked about them. So I would say: Hudhayfah is more knowledgeable about what he says, and I dislike there being ill feelings between people. So I went to Hudhayfah and it was said to him: 'Indeed, Salman does not believe you, nor does he deny you in what you say.' So Hudhayfah came to me and said: 'O Salman, son of Salman's mother.' I said: 'O Hudhayfah, son of Hudhayfah's mother, you will either stop, or I will write to 'Umar about you.' When I threatened him with 'Umar, he left me alone. And the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him) said: ."
This hadith contains a story of what used to happen among the righteous Salaf, the Companions of the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him), which we should follow in their footsteps and strive with their striving to avoid speech that may wound some souls, resulting in ill feelings, hatred, and enmity between them. We begin this story from the beginning to comment on some of it and clarify some of its benefits. First, the narrator of this hadith, a well-known Tabi'i named 'Amr ibn Abu Qirrah al-Kindi, says: "My father offered his sister to Salman." This is a type of psychological clarity and trust, where a Muslim man is eager to offer his daughter or sister to a righteous man, saying, "I have so-and-so, my sister, here in the story, my sister, I want her to marry him." If someone did this today, they would be called a scandal of the age. But this was not considered a disgrace or an insult in the early times. In fact, this is the intellect of the knowledgeable, because a Muslim strives to place his daughter or sister in a safe and trustworthy place in terms of religion and character. So why would he not do it? Today, concepts have changed, and the good has become ugly and the ugly has become good. So we must know that a man offering his daughter or sister to a righteous man is a praiseworthy and desirable matter, and this is what this wise man, Abu Qirrah, did. Nevertheless, he did not find any desire in Salman for his sister, so he did not accept the offer and married a slave woman of his. Look at this man... also, Salman al-Farisi, we mentioned in a previous lesson some of his story when he emigrated from Persia. He was the son of... meaning the son of the chief who lit the fire for the Zoroastrians to worship it besides Allah (Blessed and Exalted is He). One day, while he was walking to the place of worship and shirk, he saw a person in a distant place sitting and worshipping Allah, a monk from the monks of the Christians. He went to him and sat with him and listened to benefits and advice from what the People of the Book still retained at that time from the remnants of the Torah and the Gospel. The words of this monk entered Salman's heart, and he became a Christian and turned away from his religion. Then he emigrated in a long story until he reached Madinah as a slave. He was working in a date palm orchard until he heard that the Messenger (peace be upon him) had come to Madinah, so he came to him and embraced Islam, to the end of his story. This noble man, Abu Qirrah al-Kindi, offered his sister to him, but he refused and married a slave woman of his. Then it reached Abu Qirrah that there had been something between Hudhayfah and Salman, meaning some cooling, so he went to him seeking him. What draws attention in this story is that Abu Qirrah, who had offered his sister to Salman and Salman had not accepted, if such a story happened today, there would be something in the mind of the offerer toward the one offered to, which is also some cooling, so he would not visit him again. But the matter was never like that. Rather, the affection between Abu Qirrah and Salman remained as it was before the offer. So as soon as it reached Abu Qirrah that there was some coldness and cooling between Hudhayfah and Salman, he came to Salman. He went to him seeking him, meaning in his house, and he was informed that he was in his vegetable garden, meaning the farm where he grows legumes, so he headed toward him. He met him with a basket containing greens, having put his stick in the handle of the basket and thrown it over his shoulder. This is the occasion of the chapter the author established, that this man, Salman al-Farisi, the noble Companion, left his house to his vegetable garden, carried in the basket whatever legumes he had gathered, put them on the stick, and threw it over his back, then he walked from his vegetable garden to his house when he met this Abu Qirrah.